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Any other 2014 brides here getting an early start?

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Hello fellow BDW Brides!  I am new here and planning our DW in DR (hopefully) in July next year.

 

We both live in NY and this is wedding number 2 for the both of us so we dont want anything really traditional - we are looking for something fun for our family and close friends.

 

I am undecided on Punta Cana which is beautiful but I have never been and Puerto Plata which I love and is alot less expensive.

 

I would love to hear from Brides that have already wed in either places and look forwrad to sharing any and all info I get with everyone!

 

Thanks!

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Originally Posted by vas2014 View Post

 

I need help!!!!

We wanted a small & intimate wedding so we tried and tried to keep it at 25 guests. So we look at Jamaica because my FI being from the Dominican Republic it would be hard to keep it to that #. Fast forward that after hours of conversation with his parents we settled with Punta Cana; with Two major rules. Rule1 is as we are paying for his parents travel they must fly into Punta Cana stay for wedding at resort before heading to their home towns. 2. Family member who cannot afford it cannot come.  I think its fare.  Well as soon as we decided Punta Cana our list went from 25-50 (20 of the guest are his sibling with spouse and kids all local to the island). It being my second wedding I was ok with leaving friends and family out.  

 

Oh well I thought.

 

We launch our wedding website last week. ONLY to find that some family member forward it to others that were not invited.  We clearly say it on the website in English and in Spanish only a selected amount of people were invited please donâ€t forward information. I donâ€t know what to do? We are not doing an after destination wedding reception.

Like most brides I said yes to the whole destination wedding to keep it simple, but to him itâ€s a full out Wedding affair. His family has no concept on money, saving and planning ahead. Iâ€m about to blow up. All 13 of my guest have put $ down and are ok. His family they think they have until April-May. 

 

Shavon

 

Sorry for venting on here but my BM are my 2 children 9 & 13 and well you know my friends don't understand.

 

First of all, PLEASE don't apologize for venting.  That's what we are all here for.  Second, my sympathies are completely with you! Our dads are from Jamaica, and in addition to some personal reasons for not having it there (my parents are divorced), I knew that my FH's parents would try to invite half the earth! 

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Originally Posted by vas2014 View Post

 

I need help!!!!

We wanted a small & intimate wedding so we tried and tried to keep it at 25 guests. So we look at Jamaica because my FI being from the Dominican Republic it would be hard to keep it to that #. Fast forward that after hours of conversation with his parents we settled with Punta Cana; with Two major rules. Rule1 is as we are paying for his parents travel they must fly into Punta Cana stay for wedding at resort before heading to their home towns. 2. Family member who cannot afford it cannot come.  I think its fare.  Well as soon as we decided Punta Cana our list went from 25-50 (20 of the guest are his sibling with spouse and kids all local to the island). It being my second wedding I was ok with leaving friends and family out.  

 

Oh well I thought.

 

We launch our wedding website last week. ONLY to find that some family member forward it to others that were not invited.  We clearly say it on the website in English and in Spanish only a selected amount of people were invited please donâ€t forward information. I donâ€t know what to do? We are not doing an after destination wedding reception.

Like most brides I said yes to the whole destination wedding to keep it simple, but to him itâ€s a full out Wedding affair. His family has no concept on money, saving and planning ahead. Iâ€m about to blow up. All 13 of my guest have put $ down and are ok. His family they think they have until April-May. 

 

Shavon

 

Sorry for venting on here but my BM are my 2 children 9 & 13 and well you know my friends don't understand.

 

I know what your going through because I am Dominican and his family is just like mine.  They don't understand the concept of invite only.  What you need to do is whoever is on YOUR list stays on the list.  IF they can come fine if they can't then too bad.  Whoever else is inviting themselves kindly say its an intimate wedding and only immediate family members are invited.  Also, if they don't RSVP by the date you gave them, tell them they cannot come because they didn't follow the rules.  I know that this will create a lot of tension, heck you might get some "enemies" or people that wont like you anymore because your being a "b!tch" but it is your wedding and your money.

 

I told my mom that I was only inviting certain people and she will be the one doing the word of mouth saying that its intimate and that's why not everyone is invited.  I have like 25 family members that live in DR alone you imagine if they come haha that's my wedding package!  I know my family and they will be inviting themselves and/or RSVP'ing at the last minute.  But if they don't follow the rules then I'm sorry, but your not going!  If they show up without getting invited, then they can vacation with us but they will not be at the wedding.  It sounds mean but this is how it has to be handled.

 

Stay strong and do what you think is best.  Don't let them control you!  Good luck!

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i guess every bride is different lol. I am dominican and doing it at home. I'm just inviting whoever the hell i want and my parents are in agreement (thank God). It's more so my fiance's family inviting the entire island of st vincent to our wedding that pissed me off. But my fiance shares my sentiments of keeping it small and just told his mom she will have to pay for her share of guests since we are paying for the wedding ourselves.

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Originally Posted by MissJali View Post

 

i guess every bride is different lol. I am dominican and doing it at home. I'm just inviting whoever the hell i want and my parents are in agreement (thank God). It's more so my fiance's family inviting the entire island of st vincent to our wedding that pissed me off. But my fiance shares my sentiments of keeping it small and just told his mom she will have to pay for her share of guests since we are paying for the wedding ourselves.

 

That's a good compromise Jali. 

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i guess every bride is different lol. I am dominican and doing it at home. I'm just inviting whoever the hell i want and my parents are in agreement (thank God). It's more so my fiance's family inviting the entire island of st vincent to our wedding that pissed me off. But my fiance shares my sentiments of keeping it small and just told his mom she will have to pay for her share of guests since we are paying for the wedding ourselves.
I'm glad you and FH are on the same page! We are also paying for the wedding ourselves, which is why I feel perfectly comfortable doing things my way. For example, I am the only one who has access to any of the save the dates or invitations. My fiancé heard from his mom that Ms. such and such didn't get her save the date card. Of course, this person was not supposed to receive a save the date card in the first place! (We are waiting to see what the response to our save the dates is before we send out more invites.) At the end of the day, it's not just the money, although that's important. I want my wedding to have the people we care about around us, not just some folks that are there because they know our parents.

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I need help!!!! We wanted a small & intimate wedding so we tried and tried to keep it at 25 guests. So we look at Jamaica because my FI being from the Dominican Republic it would be hard to keep it to that #. Fast forward that after hours of conversation with his parents we settled with Punta Cana; with Two major rules. Rule1 is as we are paying for his parents travel they must fly into Punta Cana stay for wedding at resort before heading to their home towns. 2. Family member who cannot afford it cannot come.  I think its fare.  Well as soon as we decided Punta Cana our list went from 25-50 (20 of the guest are his sibling with spouse and kids all local to the island). It being my second wedding I was ok with leaving friends and family out.   Oh well I thought. We launch our wedding website last week. ONLY to find that some family member forward it to others that were not invited.  We clearly say it on the website in English and in Spanish only a selected amount of people were invited please donâ€t forward information. I donâ€t know what to do? We are not doing an after destination wedding reception. Like most brides I said yes to the whole destination wedding to keep it simple, but to him itâ€s a full out Wedding affair. His family has no concept on money, saving and planning ahead. Iâ€m about to blow up. All 13 of my guest have put $ down and are ok. His family they think they have until April-May.  Shavon Sorry for venting on here but my BM are my 2 children 9 & 13 and well you know my friends don't understand.
Were having the same problem....its really starting to annoy me bc the extra person fees might be half of what the wedding costs which is ridiculous. My MOH brothet and mom want to come to celebrate and said they completely understand if theu cant come to the wedding or reception....at least some understand

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Míss Jali, are you ready for some new enemies? You know that will be a big issue, I just did it somewhere else to avoid stress and conflict.

i guess every bride is different lol. I am dominican and doing it at home. I'm just inviting whoever the hell i want and my parents are in agreement (thank God). It's more so my fiance's family inviting the entire island of st vincent to our wedding that pissed me off. But my fiance shares my sentiments of keeping it small and just told his mom she will have to pay for her share of guests since we are paying for the wedding ourselves.

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