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Any other 2014 brides here getting an early start?

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Originally Posted by moodyc82 View Post

 

Ladies......I was a complete bridezilla last night.....and I think it is spreading into today as well. I need to vent a bit.....My FI's father is a worthless drunk. In the 3.5yrs we've dated he has never been around and my FI doesn't have a relationship with him. When my FI graduated the police academy this scum didn't show up b/c my FI didn't call him on his birthday......oh I'm sorry, but it was 3days before he graduated and passing the academy was a little bit more important. Moving on......so that christmas he decided to take Roy and his brother out to dinner and gave him a check for like $200 for a "graduation present". OK.....so that was 2011......now we never have really had contact with him since. We got engaged March 16th, Roy called his father to tell him we are engaged.....his father decided he wanted to take us out to dinner to celebrate our engagement. Well, this was April 4th I believe that we went (first saturday in April) and we are sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant waiting for his worthless father when we suddenly get a call from him (mind you it's 5pm). He calls and says he's lost........we immediately knew he was drunk b/c we were at the restaurant they always go to for the last 30yrs.......well, Roy gives him directions. 10mins later his father calls again that he's been in an accident.....at this point he is SO intoxicated that he can't even tell us where he is. Well every min for 15mins this SOB kept calling us asking when we will get there.....well we tell him to put a cop on the phone and he does and we find out where he is (literally 5mins from the restaurant). We go and there's 3 cop cars and a motorcycle cop and the damn women he hit. Well get this, this SOB hit this women at a light, and than drove 5miles away trying to escape......Well, it would of helped if he didn't leave his damn liscence plate at the scene of the accident!!!!!!! So, all he keeps asking Roy is "what are you going to do for me". Well, he gets arrested after failing the test, IN FRONT OF US. We end up having to call his brother to go sign him out b/c Roy can't because of his job and I can't b/c I'm his future wife. Well, lets just say they did this man a HUGE favor as far as not throwing the book at him. 3hrs after they arrest him they made him blow.....he blew a .30........3hrs later!???!!!~?! So we have to drive him home b/c they impounded his car....so the whole ride home he acts like nothing is wrong....and that now we're going to have to be a taxi service to him........They take him to court on that Monday and he gets his lis. taken away for 7months and when he gets it back he has to have the machine put in his car to have it be able to start when he blows in it........WELL, the next day while he's at work his mother (roy's grandma) (96yrs old) falls down the stairs and breaks her hip, shoulder, and leg. So now this SOB expects us to drive him back and fourth to the hospital every single day (they're 40mins from us). This went on until she finally died on June 15th......Now on father's day Roy decided to be the bigger person and call him, well the father wants to go out to dinner......we go and this SOB has a siezure at the diner b/c he didn't drink for 8hrs.....we rush him to the hospital and he tells the doctors and everyone else he doesn't drink......seriously?! So I left the room, not sure what was said to him by Roy and his brother but I know whatever it was it was harsh. Well, he was released the next day and given detox drugs and asked for us to go to dinner.....do you see a patern here? I never actually get to eat the dinner I'm invited to.......well, he acts like NOTHING happened. Nothing.....the doctor told him he is dying b/c of the drinking and he pretends like nothing is wrong.......I have not seen the man since. And since March I said he was uninvited to the wedding, that I'm not babysitting him in another country and I'm not having my wedding day ruined. Well, yesterday my FI was with his mother (ugh another long story, MONSTER-in-law) and she tells him he's actually been sober and that maybe we should think about inviting him.....girls I lost it.....I mean absolutely lost it and flipped out and said I didn't care if he was the king of Prussia and had a check for $2million dollars that I did not want him there and if he wanted him there than we are calling off the destination wedding and we'll go get married in Vegas.....I just can't deal with him being at the wedding with the thought of unlimited alchol around and available 24/7.....am I being an ass?

This is a hard one because it's his father BUT I get your point and would feel the same way.  My Uncle is and my grandfather was a raging alcoholic and that's why my sister's wedding was NOT open bar. People thought she was cheap and although it did save her money it also saved her from a world of embarassment. You obviously can't do this at an all inclusive and therefore it doesn't seem healthy for him to be there if he is in recovery and if he isn't or falls off the wagon who knows what would happen and nothing and no one should ruin your wedding.

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Ok since the consensus is to avoid the hair down. Here's the updo we're (my mom and I, smh) are leaning towards. Can I wear the headband with this or is it too much? Will it look dumb?

Picture+2.png

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Originally Posted by pzl101 View Post

 

You are definitely not crazy! Is your FI pushing back on this a lot? Even if his dad has been sober and is doing better, it would be for his benefit to stay away from an AI and the temptation. And it seems like the mom is only encouraging it bc then she can get a free trip out of it.  

((HUGS))

He doesn't want us written out of the will that's the only reason he considered it.....yet he's not considering MY feelings and whenever we try and talk about it it turns into a screaming match

Originally Posted by hclibby1982 View Post

 

This is a hard one because it's his father BUT I get your point and would feel the same way.  My Uncle is and my grandfather was a raging alcoholic and that's why my sister's wedding was NOT open bar. People thought she was cheap and although it did save her money it also saved her from a world of embarassment. You obviously can't do this at an all inclusive and therefore it doesn't seem healthy for him to be there if he is in recovery and if he isn't or falls off the wagon who knows what would happen and nothing and no one should ruin your wedding.

Maybe I should use this statement as my plan of attack, like it wouldn't be healthy for him to come b/c of the temptation, plus you can't turn a 67yr old alcholic into a non alcholic in a matter of a few months

Originally Posted by MissJali View Post

 

Ok since the consensus is to avoid the hair down. Here's the updo we're (my mom and I, smh) are leaning towards. Can I wear the headband with this or is it too much? Will it look dumb?

Picture+2.png

I think the headbank might be too much with the braid

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Ok since the consensus is to avoid the hair down. Here's the updo we're (my mom and I, smh) are leaning towards. Can I wear the headband with this or is it too much? Will it look dumb? Picture+2.png
I love the headband and the hairstyle but I think the braid may be to much with the headband. Maybe do the updo style except no braid? Just my opinion tho

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Originally Posted by MissJali View Post

 

Ok since the consensus is to avoid the hair down. Here's the updo we're (my mom and I, smh) are leaning towards. Can I wear the headband with this or is it too much? Will it look dumb?

Picture+2.png

 

I agree with the others---I think the braid and the headband will be competing with one another. 

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Originally Posted by brownsugarbride View Post

 

 

This bride is obviously gorgeous (as is this headband).  One thing I would think about though is the humidity.  Her lovely curls didn't make it to the altar and I've heard a lot of brides say they were glad that they did updos so that they avoided the situation.

 

Yeah I know I will sweat with the partying so up it goes... now just need to find a nice updo!

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Originally Posted by MrsTobeD View Post

 

Oppps, forgot the code,  moonpalace

 

Cute!!

Originally Posted by Shara1984 View Post

 

Morning ladies. I am so thinking about buying small sample size burlap bags and filling them with Dominican coffee beans to throw in my welcome bags or to give as favors at the wedding. I wonder if it is easy to get their coffee beans? Any other favor suggestions?

I have no idea - but I think this sounds super cute!

Originally Posted by MissJali View Post

 

Here's a fellow Barcelo bride's photos. Im in love with her headband. Now I'm thinking of wearing my hair down. Ugh decisions decisions!

http://kristyandvic.com/blog/2013/08/12/maribel-jeffrey-destination-wedding-punta-cana-dominican-republic/

Wow - these are some amazing shots - I like the head band . .

Originally Posted by brownsugarbride View Post

 

 

This bride is obviously gorgeous (as is this headband).  One thing I would think about though is the humidity.  Her lovely curls didn't make it to the altar and I've heard a lot of brides say they were glad that they did updos so that they avoided the situation.

Good Point I agree!!

Originally Posted by MissJali View Post

 

Wahh! Idk how to do my hair lol. I love the updo idea but not sure how much I'll love it once i'm out there lol

How about some sort of updo that works with the head band

Originally Posted by MissJali View Post

 

Ok since the consensus is to avoid the hair down. Here's the updo we're (my mom and I, smh) are leaning towards. Can I wear the headband with this or is it too much? Will it look dumb?

Picture+2.png

HAHa  - so I clearly just multi quoted from oldest to newest...    

 

I agree that the braid and headband is too much together - each on their own is very nice!

 

Originally Posted by MissJali View Post

 

idk I'll figure it out, since there's time between my ceremony and reception I can easily put it up after the ceremony

 

That is a great idea. .   then you get the bet of both!!

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Originally Posted by moodyc82 View Post

 

Ladies......I was a complete bridezilla last night.....and I think it is spreading into today as well. I need to vent a bit.....My FI's father is a worthless drunk. In the 3.5yrs we've dated he has never been around and my FI doesn't have a relationship with him. When my FI graduated the police academy this scum didn't show up b/c my FI didn't call him on his birthday......oh I'm sorry, but it was 3days before he graduated and passing the academy was a little bit more important. Moving on......so that christmas he decided to take Roy and his brother out to dinner and gave him a check for like $200 for a "graduation present". OK.....so that was 2011......now we never have really had contact with him since. We got engaged March 16th, Roy called his father to tell him we are engaged.....his father decided he wanted to take us out to dinner to celebrate our engagement. Well, this was April 4th I believe that we went (first saturday in April) and we are sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant waiting for his worthless father when we suddenly get a call from him (mind you it's 5pm). He calls and says he's lost........we immediately knew he was drunk b/c we were at the restaurant they always go to for the last 30yrs.......well, Roy gives him directions. 10mins later his father calls again that he's been in an accident.....at this point he is SO intoxicated that he can't even tell us where he is. Well every min for 15mins this SOB kept calling us asking when we will get there.....well we tell him to put a cop on the phone and he does and we find out where he is (literally 5mins from the restaurant). We go and there's 3 cop cars and a motorcycle cop and the damn women he hit. Well get this, this SOB hit this women at a light, and than drove 5miles away trying to escape......Well, it would of helped if he didn't leave his damn liscence plate at the scene of the accident!!!!!!! So, all he keeps asking Roy is "what are you going to do for me". Well, he gets arrested after failing the test, IN FRONT OF US. We end up having to call his brother to go sign him out b/c Roy can't because of his job and I can't b/c I'm his future wife. Well, lets just say they did this man a HUGE favor as far as not throwing the book at him. 3hrs after they arrest him they made him blow.....he blew a .30........3hrs later!???!!!~?! So we have to drive him home b/c they impounded his car....so the whole ride home he acts like nothing is wrong....and that now we're going to have to be a taxi service to him........They take him to court on that Monday and he gets his lis. taken away for 7months and when he gets it back he has to have the machine put in his car to have it be able to start when he blows in it........WELL, the next day while he's at work his mother (roy's grandma) (96yrs old) falls down the stairs and breaks her hip, shoulder, and leg. So now this SOB expects us to drive him back and fourth to the hospital every single day (they're 40mins from us). This went on until she finally died on June 15th......Now on father's day Roy decided to be the bigger person and call him, well the father wants to go out to dinner......we go and this SOB has a siezure at the diner b/c he didn't drink for 8hrs.....we rush him to the hospital and he tells the doctors and everyone else he doesn't drink......seriously?! So I left the room, not sure what was said to him by Roy and his brother but I know whatever it was it was harsh. Well, he was released the next day and given detox drugs and asked for us to go to dinner.....do you see a patern here? I never actually get to eat the dinner I'm invited to.......well, he acts like NOTHING happened. Nothing.....the doctor told him he is dying b/c of the drinking and he pretends like nothing is wrong.......I have not seen the man since. And since March I said he was uninvited to the wedding, that I'm not babysitting him in another country and I'm not having my wedding day ruined. Well, yesterday my FI was with his mother (ugh another long story, MONSTER-in-law) and she tells him he's actually been sober and that maybe we should think about inviting him.....girls I lost it.....I mean absolutely lost it and flipped out and said I didn't care if he was the king of Prussia and had a check for $2million dollars that I did not want him there and if he wanted him there than we are calling off the destination wedding and we'll go get married in Vegas.....I just can't deal with him being at the wedding with the thought of unlimited alchol around and available 24/7.....am I being an ass?

you arent being an ass. He had many opportunities to prove himself and failed every single time. It would not be fair for you, your fiance, nor anyone else to have to babysit a grown man. Plus I am sure everyone would worry and could even cause drama with the resort. I think your fiance will understand where you are coming from.

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