Originally Posted by carori
I just want to vent a little: sometimes I feel so guilty about having a DW, I feel selfish, and I think aren't weddings about celebrating with family and friends? then why make it so difficult for people to come?
I then remember myself of why we are having one: we want to! and at some point I thought it was more convenient for everyone really. But then again, after hearing so many comments about pricing from my dad, mom, friends, colleagues (not even close friends!), well, everyone!
But then I think: me and my FI live in Europe for the last 5 years, this is where we met and this is where our "home" is; but our families are from 2 other different continents! so, wherever we had our wedding it was going to be a DW! So, we decided to make it in a neutral place that we both love, not his country and not mine so that everyone feels that we didn't picked "a side". Not Europe because it would just be more expensive for EVERYONE (us and the guests!). So we chose Punta Cana.
But now, everyone complains: wow! you picked an expensive place! why there? wow! it looks like you move "in other circles", is your family reach? (and no, they are not!) I will try to go to the wedding,... but not to YOUR hotel!! OMG
Was I supposed to pick the cheapest hotel in Punta Cana for everyone to be happy?
And why do people think they can just say this things? don't they realize this is stressful? Nobody is forcing them to go! I even say they have the option to stay somewhere else!
My mom isn't even paying for her trip but she complains because her cousins complain to her, and then she comes and complains to me about the prices. I don't even care if her cousins come, I only invited them because I wanted to not exclude them, not because I expected them to make any effort in coming... I honestly don't even understand why they are coming, they never even write to me, If they want a vacation they can just take it whenever they want... somehow I'm thinking of letting them know that they shouldn't feel obliged to come AT ALL but i don't want to be rude...
Another aunt sent me the news that she won't be coming: "it just doesn't fit her goal of traveling once again to Europe in this live" WTF!!???
Am I just being too sensitive? that's what a friend told me, not to take it personally... plop! how am i supposed to do that? It's my f... wedding!!! And then I go back to guilt This is so stressful that i don't even feel like picking the details of the wedding, flowers and nice things i should be thinking about
Well, this became a long vent! Sorry but I don't want to stress my FI, since he also started to get super stressed when I told him about only 1 complaint
Anyway, thanks for reading...
Wow I understand totally. I have some of the same stresses. Also, had the same thoughts about the DW and marriage being with friends and family. Still forget sometimes that it's about what FI and I want and if we can have friends and family join without complaining then they are welcome