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Masha

No Bridesmaids. What to do?

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Originally Posted by LTLFAITHY View Post

 

I don't mean to sound like a "B" here, but I don't understand why you FI is so dead-set on having groomsmen. This wedding is about the two of you, not him and his buddies. It's great that he suggested some girls to be your bridesmaids, but do you REALLY want some girls that you barely know standing beside you when you get married? Sorry if I sound mean, but I think he is being kind of selfish about this.......

I'm going to have to agree with this. It would probably be better to have no bridesmaids than to have bridesmaids that you barely even know. 

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For some reason it is very important for him, the whole destination thing is for me and he wouldn't mind to get hitched in Vegas, or just go to court to get married. Jamaica and all formal celebration is solely for me and it does cost us an arm and a leg, so I don't feel like I have to pressure him more into doing things my way. I can't have it all, so i'll just go along with what he suggested. The whole concept of a bridesmaid is new to me anyways, in Europe it's not enforced, at most of the weddings I went they only had one bridesmaid and it was more like a witness. 

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I don't want to sound like a B either, but I've read about a few brides on here who picked people that they weren't very close with and regretted it after. They said that the 'bridesmaids' made it more about themselves and were unsupportive and selfish on the day of the wedding, which is so frustrating when it is the ONE day that is (rightfully) supposed to be all about you! 

 

But of course you know yourself better than we do, and you know them better then we do. I'm sure it will all work out great!! Good luck! 

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For me it's only a formality, I won't even see them before the wedding, I'll just have them stand next to me and for help and other things I'll ask my mom. I had an argument with my fiance about not having the groomsmen and he doesn't want to give them up, so I'll take my sanity over stress and arguments. 

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As long as the two of you are happy on your wedding day, I guess that is all that really matters. Groomsmen, bridesmaids, or not - it's your day and I hope it is perfect cheesy.gif

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That's a shame that he won't budge on that.  I think his friends would totally understand the idea of the "simplicity" of a beach wedding and that attendants are not needed.  Hope it works out so you are happy too.

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I agree with some of the other members comments.

 

I have heard from numerous past brides that had people in their wedding party that they really did not want and after the wedding - they had regrets.

 

I really think you only really want to have people you truly want to stand up with/for you. In the event they cannot be there, I really don't think other people can fill those shoes of who you would really want. Also, I think those people would realize that they are on in the bridal party because the people you really wanted couldn't make it.

 

Overall, if what you truly want can't work - don't settle.

 

Good Luck to you!

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Originally Posted by Arch713 View Post

 

I agree with some of the other members comments.

 

I have heard from numerous past brides that had people in their wedding party that they really did not want and after the wedding - they had regrets.

 

I really think you only really want to have people you truly want to stand up with/for you. In the event they cannot be there, I really don't think other people can fill those shoes of who you would really want. Also, I think those people would realize that they are on in the bridal party because the people you really wanted couldn't make it.

 

Overall, if what you truly want can't work - don't settle.

 

Good Luck to you!

 

I agree with some of the other comments too. After all it's your big day and when it come down to it's all about you and him. My situation was a little bit different than yours. We have 16 people at our wedding and only 3 of them are my husband's friend. My husband's parent can't make it to Mexico from China. And his' best man bail out on us last minute with lame excuse, but the groom's man step up (one man short for all the photos). However he was so happy during the wedding trip and nothing really matter to him on our special day (even though it was raining and a lot plan got changed but wedding still goes on). Afterall it's all about you and your fiance.

 

Best of everything and don't stress too much :)

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I have to say I kinda agree with the other comments about risking having to regret that bridesmaids who you weren't close with just for the sake of having bridesmaids. I personally only have 4 maids: my 2 best friends and his 2 sisters. He has 8 groomsmen and some are flaking out, I have to bite my tongue to not say "I told u so". lol. How about having your mom be your maid of honor as well as the person who walks you down the aisle? I've see so many grooms have their dads as best an so the same could apply to the bride,right? Besides, your mom I'm sure is pretty much acting as MOH, except for bachelorette party :D

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I really liked the idea about having the groomsmen walk down the aisle and then sit in the front row or even perhaps in their own row. Allow them to contribute to everything else but does symmetry really matter that much. 

 

Your fiance is allowed to want his buddies to be in his wedding, and if he wants that and you are ok with it then go for it...but don't vill the void on the other side with random women that you barely know. People will forever ask you in your pictures....oh who is your bridesmaid, who was your maid of honor etc.

 

Anyways I have a really similar situation and don't really have that many close friends. My FI and I have been together for almost 5 years in sept and we have a 3 1/2 year old Daughter  who will be a part of the ceremony as the flower girl. Being a mom and a bit of homebody sometimes means that the people I am close with seem to be the ones I work with, and I hear what you are saying about it feeling awkward. I do have one friend from school that I still keep in touch with but I don't know for sure if she is going to be able to make it. I haven't decided yet if I am going to have a bridesmaid or maid of honor yet....and I guess I will have to see in a little while and get a feel for what the ceremony will be like.....on the other hand I am having a relatively small wedding with probably 20 people coming from another country to cruise with us and so I was thinking  really any girl friend that does come (and I think there might be two) could just stand with me and I was thinking about having a more casual bridesmaid - bride relationship....just show up, wear dress, have a fun vacation! 

 

Sorry went on a tangent there a bit.....anyways I think that you will find the right balance for you guys. He is set on the guys so the guys should stand on both of your sides....do you have a guy that is special in your life...a closer friend than a girl? that might be an option as well. 

 

Good luck and whatever happens just make sure that you are happy and then it will be all good!

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