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No Bridesmaids. What to do?


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#1 Masha

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    Posted 31 May 2012 - 02:11 PM

    All friends who could be my BM can not attend my DW due to financial hardship. Paying for them is out of our budget, they live on the other side of the pond in Europe. I do have couple female acquaintances I'm inviting but i don't feel close enough to ask them to be my bridesmaids, it would be almost desperate. I'm not very open type of person and don't start new friendships easy. My fiance has at least 3 friends who he wants to ask to be his groomsmen. Most of my relatives live in Europe as well and form my side there won't be many people: my mother, my son and maybe my aunt. How should I handle this situation? 



    #2 terrihugg

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      Posted 31 May 2012 - 02:51 PM

      Well, do you really need a wedding party? I honestly didn't want one but my FI felt very strongly about having best men and bridesmaids. 

       

      If you must, you could think about making relatives such as cousins your bridesmaids. or maybe even just having an at home celebration and have them act as bridesmaids there. 

       

      Lastly, if finances are whats causing the issues maybe you can offer to pay for the dresses. It might help them free up some money for the trip. 

       

      Good luck. 



      #3 Ploman

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        Posted 31 May 2012 - 03:05 PM

         I think it would be cute for you to be the only girl up at the front! You could just have one of his groomsmen stand beside you to balance it out better. 


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        #4 Masha

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          Posted 31 May 2012 - 05:11 PM

          Thank you for replies. 

          Sorry I wasn't clear enough, my fiance and I live in states and my family and friends live in Europe. Their main concern is to pay for the tickets which is almost $2000 per person and the hotel. Paying for the bridesmaids dresses wouldn't help much, most of them live paycheck to paycheck. I asked if they could make it and they said they won't be able to save that much. Our budget already reached 10 000 and it keeps adding up, we both paying for everything ourselves so we really can't afford to pay for them too. My fiance doesn't want to give up on groomsmen, I had an idea that we both don't have a party, but he says he can't do that, his friends are going to be pissed off. 

          Maybe the groomsmen on my side would be a good idea.



          #5 LTLFAITHY

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            Posted 31 May 2012 - 06:03 PM

            Originally Posted by Masha 

            Thank you for replies. 

            Sorry I wasn't clear enough, my fiance and I live in states and my family and friends live in Europe. Their main concern is to pay for the tickets which is almost $2000 per person and the hotel. Paying for the bridesmaids dresses wouldn't help much, most of them live paycheck to paycheck. I asked if they could make it and they said they won't be able to save that much. Our budget already reached 10 000 and it keeps adding up, we both paying for everything ourselves so we really can't afford to pay for them too. My fiance doesn't want to give up on groomsmen, I had an idea that we both don't have a party, but he says he can't do that, his friends are going to be pissed off. 

            Maybe the groomsmen on my side would be a good idea.

            I obviously don't know your fiance friends, but I can't imagine any guys being that pissed off about not being in someone's wedding party. But more importantly, this is you and your fiance's wedding ~ if you are going to be uncomfortable about not having bridesmaids then he should really be more concerned about that, than not pissing his friends off. All he needs to do is explain the situation to his buddies............but that's just my 2 cents. 


            ~Now Sapphire Riviera Cancun~

            4.27.13

            54 Booked + The Bride & Groom!


            #6 2ndtimesacharm

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              Posted 01 June 2012 - 04:45 AM

              That sucks!  I would caution you not to ask those women you aren't close with because as you said it would seem desperate.  I also don't make friends easily and for my first wedding asked a girl I wasn't close with to stand up for me to "balance out" the wedding party and I regretted it.  It's just super awkward and then she got completely hammered and caused drama!  LOL!  If you are close with your mother, you could consider asking her to stand up for you.  I've seen that before and I think it's really sweet. 


              Azul Sensatori ~ June 26, 2012


              #7 KCDawn

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                Posted 01 June 2012 - 08:31 AM

                It's a shame how little things like this can really bring down the excitement of planning a wedding.  I think having your mom stand in is a great idea if you really feel you need someone up there.  Don't ask someone just to fill a spot.  I have a feeling that would get awkward quick and you wouldn't feel that comfortable with it on the big day.  We're not having a bridal party and we both have close friends attending the wedding.  No one seems to be bothered by that at all!  Actually I think they're all a little relieved to not have all the responsibility.  They can still be included in the day without an official title or standing at the altar.  A few of my FI's friends are going to give toasts.  With a DW there are lots of opportunities so you can split it up - welcome party, cocktail hour, reception, etc.  Also, we both plan on spending some quality time with our friends the morning of the wedding while we're getting ready.  That's just a few ideas.  I'm sure you could come up with a lot more.  Bottom line, it's your wedding and you should be happy with it. 



                #8 cinnagirl

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                  Posted 01 June 2012 - 04:22 PM

                  Can he have his groomsmen but have them not stand up during the ceremony? So he can do his guy things with his groomsmen, like getting ready before the ceremony and his bachelor party. Even have the guys walk down the aisle. But they could sit in the front row with the family which denotes them as being important, while you and your FI can be the only ones standing at the front. Would that be a reasonable compromise? And then they can be included in the wedding party photos and such.



                  #9 Masha

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                    Posted 04 June 2012 - 07:56 AM

                    Thank you ladies for suggestions and responses, we had a discussion with my fiance and he doesn't want to give up his groomsmen at all but he suggested that his female cousin and one of his groomsmen's wife can be my bridesmaids, they are not my friends, they live in another city and I only seen them twice but I guess it's better than nothing and he said he can rely on them. My mom will be walking me down since my father passed away and i don't have any brothers, uncles or other father figures, so mom can't be bridesmaid. If my aunt comes I'll ask her as well.  

                    It does indeed sucks and stressful. 



                    #10 LTLFAITHY

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                      Posted 05 June 2012 - 08:24 PM

                      I don't mean to sound like a "B" here, but I don't understand why you FI is so dead-set on having groomsmen. This wedding is about the two of you, not him and his buddies. It's great that he suggested some girls to be your bridesmaids, but do you REALLY want some girls that you barely know standing beside you when you get married? Sorry if I sound mean, but I think he is being kind of selfish about this.......


                      ~Now Sapphire Riviera Cancun~

                      4.27.13

                      54 Booked + The Bride & Groom!





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