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Sunshine2680

Telling your bridal party to keep their drinking in 'check' - HOW??

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Originally Posted by DwBride2Be View Post

 

This is funny because I actually just brought this up with my family yesterday, and everyone seemed to think it was fine to drink.   They might have just been saying that to give me a hard time though!    Either way, I have a plan:

 

When the groom and Groomsmen are getting ready I'm going to ensure lunch gets sent to them so they eat, and hopefully it will be really carby - like sandwiches, or hamburgers or something so that should soak up any excess alcohol.  I just have to hope they will be smart about it!!  I'm more worried about some of the guests getting hammered that day, and not the actual bridal party.

 

Also I'm not too worried about the girls because I plan to be with them all day, and it's just my sister (who doesn't really drink), my friend Stacey (who does drink but wont excessively till the party) and myself.

 

Good luck!

Great idea about the lunch! i'll have to consider doing that for sure!

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I think these are all good ideas. I think it might be better to do it directly, either in person (first choice) or in something casual like a FB private message, because it will seem more light-hearted than as an asterisk on their formal schedules. Also, I think it will probably help a lot that you'll be setting a good example. If you and your fiance aren't getting wasted I'm sure your BMs will follow suit!

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I guess this is something I never even considereing for my wedding.  I had told my now husband that I didnt want him drinking alot before the ceremony and he probably passed this on to his groomsmen.  I think its just common respect when you are apart of someones wedding you dont drink in excess the day before or the day of, until all the formalities, such as ceremony, photos ect are finished.  I would just talk to your fiance and having him have a little chat with his side of the wedding party and you can chat with your side.

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Hmmm I havent given this any thought either.  I guess it kinda depends on the crowd you have in your bridal party.  If you know they're die-hard partyers who start early in the day and make asses of themselves and its uncomfortable, then yes, an honest frank discussion is in order.  However, I think you as the bride should have the discussion with your bridesmaids - after all these are prob girls who you consider to be good friends, and your FI should have the talk with his guys, for same reasons.  I also think a phonecall or face-to-face conversation should be the way you communicate it, DEF not over an email or FB or text message because too often the tone of your message can come across very differently than you intended on a screen.  Keep the convo light, laugh about it, etc.  Your bridal party will appreciate hearing it directly from you, rather than hearing it after the fact thru rumors, and other things.    

 

I only have 4 bridesmaids and I dont think I need to worry about that with them.  The groomsmen...that's another story.  But, one would hope that out of respect for the bride and groom, folks would know not to show their "azz"!  LOL

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I was a little bit concerned about my fiance and the groomsmen - bridesmaids and i will all be getting ready together and we're not going to have more than a glass or two of prosecco at the most, but i know my fiance and his friends will be in holiday mode and they hit all inclusives hard!

 

Im not all that worried about them drinking the night before, i just want everybody sober for ceremony and photos! After photos they can do what they want at the reception, the photographer isnt staying for the entire night (only so many dancing photos you can get!)

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Have a talk with them!  At my wedding the Best Man got really drunk the night before and was basically useless to my husband the day of.  At the reception my maid of honor got so drunk she ended up puking all over herself.  I would have thought they both would have had enough sense to keep themselves in check but that didn't happen.

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Ya - this is the tough part....you HOPE that they have enough sense to keep their drinking to a minimum  but from what Ive heard from other brides...its a big mistake to trust everyone to do that...yet at the same time u dont want to treat them like babies either! And I'm sure some will even be insulted by us talking to them...But I think id still rather have that than the opposite.
Just like Jessi said above...they only need to behave thru the ceremony and photos - after that..they can do whatever.
Not only that..its not like they dont have 5 or 6 other days to be in 'vacation-mode'!!

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Originally Posted by JayKay View Post

 

I guess this is something I never even considereing for my wedding.  I had told my now husband that I didnt want him drinking alot before the ceremony and he probably passed this on to his groomsmen.  I think its just common respect when you are apart of someones wedding you dont drink in excess the day before or the day of, until all the formalities, such as ceremony, photos ect are finished.  I would just talk to your fiance and having him have a little chat with his side of the wedding party and you can chat with your side.

 

I read this post this morning, and I don't know why but I actually thought about this a good deal today. I 100% agree with JayKay's post; these are your closest friends and family members, so I would hope that they would just have the common courtesy to keep the drinking under control until after the formal part of the wedding day is over. Preventing people from getting drunk the night before is where I would be concerned.

 

Either way, I would definitely talk to them before the wedding and maybe enlist one of your closest bridesmaids and groomsmen to help "police" the situation day off. Nobody else has to know that you've talked to them, but having another member of the wedding party to give the "Hey, maybe you should wait on that 5th shot until after your speech" not only gives you one less thing that you need to worry about, knowing that someone is keeping an eye on the partying, but it also prevents you from having to have any "bridezilla" moments on your wedding day :)

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Wow I hadn't really thought about this but now that you guys mention it, it might be worth chatting about. Definitely not as big a deal on a cruise where the liquor isn't free but still will want to make sure anyone I might be concerned about is not too tipsy before the i do's are exchanged....don't want anyone to miss the reception!

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