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Who gets an "And guest"?


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For us, because we are limited to the amount of people due to our reception location, I have asked that no one bring a plus 1 without talking to me about it first. If we have space and can accomodate - then great and no problem - however I am not willing to cut out people that I want there just so some people can bring a plus 1. Anyways, we are having an AHR - so they can bring plus 1's to that!

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Originally Posted by DestinationGirl View Post

 

For us, because we are limited to the amount of people due to our reception location, I have asked that no one bring a plus 1 without talking to me about it first. If we have space and can accomodate - then great and no problem - however I am not willing to cut out people that I want there just so some people can bring a plus 1. Anyways, we are having an AHR - so they can bring plus 1's to that!

Where is your wedding location? Just my opinion, but I would be offended if I got invited to a destination wedding and was not given the option to bring a guest. In all honesty, I would not attend. I would not pay that much money to go and not be able to travel with my significant other or a travel companion. I'm giving all my guest the option to bring one guest.

 

However, I have a 19 year old cousin that said to me the other day that she has 3 friends that want to go to Mexico. I said "Sure, no problem, I wouldn't stop anyone from going on vacation, but you have to pick ONE of them to attend the wedding events and the other 2 can find something else to do for a few hours". 

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Originally Posted by shannonmarie View Post

 

Where is your wedding location? Just my opinion, but I would be offended if I got invited to a destination wedding and was not given the option to bring a guest. In all honesty, I would not attend. I would not pay that much money to go and not be able to travel with my significant other or a travel companion. I'm giving all my guest the option to bring one guest.

 

However, I have a 19 year old cousin that said to me the other day that she has 3 friends that want to go to Mexico. I said "Sure, no problem, I wouldn't stop anyone from going on vacation, but you have to pick ONE of them to attend the wedding events and the other 2 can find something else to do for a few hours". 

 

I would be offended too, but ONLY if I had a significant other who was not invited. If I am single, I can understand that. But, let's say I had a serious boyfriend or something (in the world where I am not engaged, of course)... and he was not also invited, or I didn't get an "and guest", then I would be offended, or at least talk to the person about it.

However, if I am not in a serious relationship, and if I know other people there, I can understand that.

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Originally Posted by Peach View Post

 

 

I would be offended too, but ONLY if I had a significant other who was not invited. If I am single, I can understand that. But, let's say I had a serious boyfriend or something (in the world where I am not engaged, of course)... and he was not also invited, or I didn't get an "and guest", then I would be offended, or at least talk to the person about it.

However, if I am not in a serious relationship, and if I know other people there, I can understand that.

I don't think I would necessarily be offended, but if you aren't inviting that many people and they know you know they have a serious SO, that might be a bit weird. If this happened to me I would think you might be intentionally not inviting my bf so I would probably ask you about it to see if he could still come with me.

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Originally Posted by DestinationGirl View Post

 

For us, because we are limited to the amount of people due to our reception location, I have asked that no one bring a plus 1 without talking to me about it first. If we have space and can accomodate - then great and no problem - however I am not willing to cut out people that I want there just so some people can bring a plus 1. Anyways, we are having an AHR - so they can bring plus 1's to that!

We're also limited by our venue and our budget. When we sent out invites, they were for the wedding, not the actual week away. Most people did not get a plus 1 to the wedding - they only did if they knew no one else there at all. We understand that some people do not want to travel alone so if people want to bring friends to the resort that's fine, but at this time we cannot accommodate them at the wedding day event. 

 

If it's comes down to it and there's only 2 or 3 extra people, we'll probably say they can go to the wedding. But if there's 10+, we just can't do it for size reasons and budget. 

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For all of our friends and family that are not "married" we went ahead and added a guest. And for our RSVP tab on our wedding website we added the persons and then guest, just in case they wanted to bring someone. We figured the more the marrier. :o)

 

But also single rooms cost about the same if not more, so I figured more of our single friends and family would be more opt to attend our DW if they could bring a friend to split the cost of the room with. If I were single and was not allowed a plus 1, I def would not go to another country alone. We also saw it as their guests could entertain them as we will not be able to be with each and every friends and family member at the same time during the duration of our trip.

 

I have 2 cousins that are older and still sort of live with their parents, I just added a Save the Date in one envelope for each. As far as invites, I may do the same thing. I'm worried the parents may not be able to come, but who knows if my cousins will want to. So that's why I want them to feel like they can bring their bf's and come even if their parents decide not to.

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For our guests, we invited all couples as couples, whether they were married or cohabiting or just in a long-term relationship.  Invitations were addressed as "Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith", regardless of their relationship's legal status.  Our single friends and family members were invited alone — just "Ms. Smith" on the invitation, not "Ms. Smith and Guest".  I have heard no negative feedback about this, as the single people mostly know each other and are happy to hang out together.  

 

It's working out well for us.  Our friends and family are unlikely to bring someone to a destination wedding unless they're already in a serious relationship — can you imagine traveling for a week with someone you just started dating?  And if they are in a serious relationship, then we're happy to have their significant other at the wedding!

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