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Another who should pay for the day pass question

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I've read through the other post about this topic, but I think my situation is a little different. Feel free to debate, or tell me I'm wrong. I'm asking it here because I know I get the truth. If I ask my family, they may not tell me what they really feel.


I chose one of the least expensive hotels in the area, so guest wouldn't need to stay somewhere else in order to save money. I sacrificed a beautiful gazeebo & some other things I wanted to make sure the hotel was affordable. Maybe they could save some money with a non-AI, but not much.


So they'd be choosing to stay somewhere else for other reasons, like they prefer a different area, or they want to stay somewhere fancier, etc. Even my parents who normally stays in cheap non-AI hotels in mexico think this place is a bargain.


Also, I'd almost prefer someone not go, than to stay somewhere else. Unless they are totally fine with not hanging out with us much. I just don't want to have to leave the hotel where I'm having a great time with other guests to meet these guests at a public beach so we can hang out. I also think it would be hard to coordinate group trips when they are in a different hotel.


I posted on the website that it cost $80 to enter the hotel each day. I didn't say who would have to pay it, but just wanted to make sure they knew this when making their decision.


Our budget is small so $80 per person is a lot. If we were spending $20,000, another $80 for a few people wouldn't be such a big deal. For our budget it really is. If 10 people wanted to stay off the property, I'd have to cancel something very important to me like my photographer. There is really nothing else to cut back on. I haven't splurged on anything for the wedding.


The only exception is we might have 2 guest who would stay with friends in the area. I can understand this, because it's not like they are just picking a different hotel. We will offer to pay for them. It's only slightly more expensive for them to get a room at the hotel for the night instead of a day pass, so we'll probably offer to pay for their nights stay or $80 of it.


But if someone picks a different hotel just because they like it better (even a more expensive hotel), should we have to pay for them to get into our hotel? Honestly it would really hurt my feelings if they didn't stay with us. I don't expect us to hang out the whole time, but I do think there will be some great group times that I wouldn't want anyone to miss out on.

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Have any of your guests said they may want to stay someplace else??


None of ours even mentioned staying elsewhere. I think part of the fun of the whole DW is having everyone stay together. And the fact that you chose a reasonably priced resort should mean that people should have no reason to not stay there.


I wouldn't feel obligated to go and visit people at other resorts if they don't stay where you are, that is there choice and they shouldn't expect you to have to make travel arrangements etc.. just to go and meet them.


I think if you posted the day pass fee on your site, this will deter people from staying elsewhere and most will probably not even consider staying anywhere else. I think if someone mentions to you that they are considering staying elsewhere I would gently mention the fee to them and it may change their mind.


I think I'm starting to ramble so I'll stop now, hopefully I've made some sense.

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I say you do not have to pay the guest fee for the two people who may stay elsewhere. I'm sure posts saying how rude it is will follow, but honestly, it is your wedding. You planned it your way and let people know how it would work in advance. They are free to do what they want but it shouldn't be at your expense. You shouldn't have to go into debt for them. Now if they never knew about the $80 fee it would be different, but you've been upfront with them and they can go with the plan or make their own. You shouldn't have to pay for their changes.

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So far no one has asked me to pay for the passes. Guest haven't started booking yet. But I do know the one couple is planning to stay with friends. That is fine with me because they know people in the area. Originally I thought it would be no big deal to tell them it would cost $80 to get into the hotel. Then I read a bunch of posts & realized maybe that isn't fair. So I figure we'll pay for them. But I'd rather pay for their nights stay at the hotel so that way they can stay up late & party with everyone and have breakfast in the morning. A night's stay is about $100 so it seems worth the extra $20 to not need to drive home. I was also going to talk to the WC about a reduced rate for the pass. Possibly when we offer they will say not to worry about it.


Once I started looking on the forum to see what people thought about that situation, I realized it might come up with other guests. I'd like to think about what I'd say to them before it comes up. Hopefully no one choses to stay somewhere else! I know someone was thinking of staying in cozumel instead & I was a little worried, but she no longer is planning on it.

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I agree with Jamy... I don't think you should have to pay for your friends' decisions to stay elsewhere. We also chose a very affordable AI so our guests could make it. We had a few people look online and find something nearby that was just a tad cheaper, but not AI. We told them they were welcome to stay there, but that our resort charges $75/day per person, and there would be several activities at the resort. No one decided to stay elsewhere (which was our hope).


I think its a generous offer to pay for your friends who are staying local, but not necessary. If you have the info on your website, it implies that your guests are responsible - at least that is how I would take it.

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Originally Posted by Hopels View Post
I agree with Jamy... I don't think you should have to pay for your friends' decisions to stay elsewhere. We also chose a very affordable AI so our guests could make it. We had a few people look online and find something nearby that was just a tad cheaper, but not AI. We told them they were welcome to stay there, but that our resort charges $75/day per person, and there would be several activities at the resort. No one decided to stay elsewhere (which was our hope).
That's what I was worried about people doing. Finding a non AI to save just a little when it's not really worth it. In the end they could end up spending more & not having near as much fun.

If we picked an expensive resort I can understand people wanting more options. But I searched around a lot & I don't think they can beat this deal.

Maybe that's just everyone's tendancy to look for the best deal. I just want my guest to trust I've already done that for them. Most people want to check out prices on expedia even after I tell them my TA can get them the best rate. I'd be likely to do the same thing in their position though. Just shop around before making a decision. I just want to make sure they understand how it works. Not everyone is familiar with the whole AI thing. I tried to explain it all on my website, but I don't think everyone is reading it. I'm asked a bunch of questions that are cleary explained on my website.

Thanks for the feedback!

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Side note - our wedding site wasn't a hotel so there wasn't a day fee involved, but all of our guests were scattered everywhere. Some went where there TA's suggested (even my parents), some had timeshares, and some went for the least expensive spots. In the end about 1/3 of the guests stayed at Dreams with us. Our WD was offsite and we didn't plan any other activities so it didn't pose a problem, other than the fact that they weren't at our hotel at night when we ate/drank at the bars.


It would have been nice to have everyone at Dreams but at the same time it was nice to have an intimate group, we never had to wait for seating at meals and we still got to meet up with the other guests in town where we went to party/sightsee anyway. Our guests had time to do their own thing as well as attend our events. Do your best and if some people still choose to book somewhere else it will work out.

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I've thought of a solution to this never ending day pass problem. Well its not a good solution (lol) but at least its something. I would designate someone you trust, like a best friend or MOH to casually mention it to people in passing. The person should never end up mentioning who would end up paying for it only say something like the following:


DESIGNATED PERSON: Hey you guys staying at the hotel? I'm so excited its going to be so much fun.


COUPLE/FRIEND: Actually we/I are/am going to stay at XYZ Hotel


DESIGNATED PERSON: Oh I love XYZ hotel! I was also thinking of staying there but then I would have to pay a $80 day pass each time I wanted to go hang out with everyone. I figure if I'm going to pay all that money to go to a DW then I want to be able to hang out with everyone. Plus, it would be so weird to have to pay $80 to go to their wedding. Or worse, I wouldn't want Morgan to have to pay for that.


COUPLE/FRIEND: Oh really? I had no idea there was an $80 day pass fee. That sucks. It makes more sense to stay at the hotel with everyone else if that's the case.


*Okay so I realize that I'm delusional and it will never work out that way, but the truth is that people tend to go along with whatever the majority of people are doing and if everyone starts to hear about the fee, I think they will cave in and stay at your resort.

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I thought about this as well and I came to the conclusion that we are the ones doing all of the research & driving ourselves crazy to make everyone happy and we're not thinking of ourselves. If anyone wants to deviate from the set wedding plans let them, but they have to pay for the day pass.


I am not telling our guests that they have an option of chosing another resort. If they dont like the resort that we / TA planned, then they are on their own. My opinion - the whole point is to spend time together before/after the wedding and everyone to have a great time together. We can't please everyone. If we could, the rooms would be free. They also have to realize that they have to pay for a taxi to get to/from the wedding. I dont know what time your reception is going to be over, but I'm sure its going to be late and do you want guests traveling back to their hotel alone in a foreign country?? The price they pay for the day pass and the taxi might be more than booking your resort!

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Our TA brought this up to us. Since we are directing everyone to work with her she is going to let them the prices to stay at the resort where the wedding will be. If they ask for alternate resorts she is going to let them know they will need to pay the resort fee to attend the wedding and hopefully, that will steer them to just booking at our resort. She is going to let us know who/if anyone books elsewhere and then we can determine if it is within our budget to pay the fees. I'd rather the guests not have to pay it, but if it gets out of control I'm not going to. Our TA will not be telling them that we are offering to pay so we can make this decision without anyone knowing it was an option.

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