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May 2013 Brides

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Hey ladies, Iâ€m looking for a bit of input.  Like many of you, my Fi and I are having a symbolic ceremony for our destination wedding and taking care of all the leagal formalities before or after.  We had no intention of informing our guest of this, as far as theyâ€re concerned, the ceremony in Mexico would be the real deal. We thought it would somehow cheapen the experience for them if they knew.  As such, we decided that we were going to script or own ceremony for the officiant to read.

 

Based on recent feedback from ladies who have gotten married at my resort, the wedding coordinator procrastinates in providing the officiant with the scripted ceremony and waits until the day of, literally minutes before. To make things worse, not only is the officant unfamiliar with the script, but their accents are so thick that itâ€s hard to understand whatâ€s being said.

 

So my question is this, will my guests have a cheapened experience if they know the ceremony isnâ€t legal? Is it worth trying to find an outside officiant and pay an extra $250-$400 and conduct phone interviews?  Or will my guest be okay, since legal or not, this is the ceremony that counts and the date that we will celebrate future anniversaries on.  If so, weâ€re thinking about asking my brother to marry us in Mexico.

 

Thoughts?

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Originally Posted by ChocoTaco7568 View Post

 

Hey ladies, Iâ€m looking for a bit of input.  Like many of you, my Fi and I are having a symbolic ceremony for our destination wedding and taking care of all the leagal formalities before or after.  We had no intention of informing our guest of this, as far as theyâ€re concerned, the ceremony in Mexico would be the real deal. We thought it would somehow cheapen the experience for them if they knew.  As such, we decided that we were going to script or own ceremony for the officiant to read.

 

Based on recent feedback from ladies who have gotten married at my resort, the wedding coordinator procrastinates in providing the officiant with the scripted ceremony and waits until the day of, literally minutes before. To make things worse, not only is the officant unfamiliar with the script, but their accents are so thick that itâ€s hard to understand whatâ€s being said.

 

So my question is this, will my guests have a cheapened experience if they know the ceremony isnâ€t legal? Is it worth trying to find an outside officiant and pay an extra $250-$400 and conduct phone interviews?  Or will my guest be okay, since legal or not, this is the ceremony that counts and the date that we will celebrate future anniversaries on.  If so, weâ€re thinking about asking my brother to marry us in Mexico.

 

Thoughts?

 

I'm also doing a symbolic ceremony and I have decided not to tell anyone other than my parents and my bridesmaids.  I think that no matter how much time you give the officiant to rehearse your script their accent will still be evident.  I do think that as long as they use a microphone and speak at a good pace there should be no problems.  Remember they do this all of the time.  I don't think you should pay extra.  Is there anyone from coming along that could perform the ceremony?  I've heard of people doing this as well.  

 

I personally don't want my guests thinking ... "they are already married" so that's why I'm not telling them.

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Originally Posted by ChocoTaco7568 View Post

 

Hey ladies, Iâ€m looking for a bit of input.  Like many of you, my Fi and I are having a symbolic ceremony for our destination wedding and taking care of all the leagal formalities before or after.  We had no intention of informing our guest of this, as far as theyâ€re concerned, the ceremony in Mexico would be the real deal. We thought it would somehow cheapen the experience for them if they knew.  As such, we decided that we were going to script or own ceremony for the officiant to read.

 

Based on recent feedback from ladies who have gotten married at my resort, the wedding coordinator procrastinates in providing the officiant with the scripted ceremony and waits until the day of, literally minutes before. To make things worse, not only is the officant unfamiliar with the script, but their accents are so thick that itâ€s hard to understand whatâ€s being said.

 

So my question is this, will my guests have a cheapened experience if they know the ceremony isnâ€t legal? Is it worth trying to find an outside officiant and pay an extra $250-$400 and conduct phone interviews?  Or will my guest be okay, since legal or not, this is the ceremony that counts and the date that we will celebrate future anniversaries on.  If so, weâ€re thinking about asking my brother to marry us in Mexico.

 

Thoughts?

 

We are not telling anyone that our ceremony in Punta Cana is not legal. Some people will figure it out, I'm sure, because we have a friend officiating and we're not getting him ordained (lots of hoops and stuff). But we're not telling people because our travel agent suggested that if people know it's not real, then they won't want to attend and with our group I could see that happening. It's not really something we're lying about per se, just not information we're offering up freely. If someone asks, we'll tell them our reasoning for doing a symbolic ceremony. 

 

On the other hand, FI's brother had a destination wedding and they did their legal ceremony 6 months before the destination wedding. They posted pictures of it online. They did it because they were concerned something would go wrong with the legalities in Mexico and that they wouldn't end up married after all. It didn't really deter people from going. They had about 50 people that were supposed to attend, but plans got changed a week before the wedding due to swine flu and they had to reschedule for a month later in Aruba. I think it really depends on the people you have coming. If you have a bunch of people that are looking for an excuse to go away, I don't think they'll mind if it's not the legal ceremony. If you have people that are more traditional, then it might be an issue? 

 

Regardless, if people say my wedding is not "real" I will tell them that the date of our symbolic ceremony is our wedding date as far as we're concerned. The day I sign the papers in Canada is just another day.

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Thanks Ladies!

Originally Posted by PuntaBride View Post

 

I'm also doing a symbolic ceremony and I have decided not to tell anyone other than my parents and my bridesmaids.  I think that no matter how much time you give the officiant to rehearse your script their accent will still be evident.  I do think that as long as they use a microphone and speak at a good pace there should be no problems.  Remember they do this all of the time.  I don't think you should pay extra.  Is there anyone from coming along that could perform the ceremony?  I've heard of people doing this as well.  

 

I personally don't want my guests thinking ... "they are already married" so that's why I'm not telling them.

This was my exact logic, and for months I didn't think it would be a concern until it seemed to be the only complaint from 4 recent brides at my resort which of course made me nervous.  But our ceremony is the most important part. If we were getting married in the states, my brother would have officiated. We thought it would have been more special and personal to have him marry us than a stranger. And a part of me still believes this should also apply for the destination wedding.  My Fi is actually more adamant about our guests not knowing, especially his parents.

 

Originally Posted by cinnagirl View Post

 

We are not telling anyone that our ceremony in Punta Cana is not legal. Some people will figure it out, I'm sure, because we have a friend officiating and we're not getting him ordained (lots of hoops and stuff). But we're not telling people because our travel agent suggested that if people know it's not real, then they won't want to attend and with our group I could see that happening. It's not really something we're lying about per se, just not information we're offering up freely. If someone asks, we'll tell them our reasoning for doing a symbolic ceremony. 

 

On the other hand, FI's brother had a destination wedding and they did their legal ceremony 6 months before the destination wedding. They posted pictures of it online. They did it because they were concerned something would go wrong with the legalities in Mexico and that they wouldn't end up married after all. It didn't really deter people from going. They had about 50 people that were supposed to attend, but plans got changed a week before the wedding due to swine flu and they had to reschedule for a month later in Aruba. I think it really depends on the people you have coming. If you have a bunch of people that are looking for an excuse to go away, I don't think they'll mind if it's not the legal ceremony. If you have people that are more traditional, then it might be an issue? 

 

Regardless, if people say my wedding is not "real" I will tell them that the date of our symbolic ceremony is our wedding date as far as we're concerned. The day I sign the papers in Canada is just another day.

I honestly think most people are excited that we're forcing them to take a vacation and our marriage is secondary with exception to our parents and best man and woman. And I think the only ones people who will question our choice to have a symbolic ceremony are my Fi's parents. His mom will feel emotionally slighted and his dad is just cheap and wouldn't understand why we're doing it. But I don't believe that anyone's decision to come would change based on whether or not our ceremony is legal. Most of our friends and family are pragmatic enough to understand if they were to find out or inquire (at lease the guests that weâ€re inviting).

 

When itâ€s all said and done, this will be the day when my Fi and I publically profess our love and commitment. And if people think any less of it because itâ€s not legal, than maybe they shouldnâ€t come. I might have to talk with the Fi again. I think I just convinced myself that I want my brother to marry us.

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Originally Posted by trivera5521 View Post

 

Hi Jenny...great date (wink, wink)!! My STD's went out last week and we did magnets. Our wedding website is done and we are starting to get messages on our guestbook which is exciting and makes it all that much more real www.edgardandtamara.com My actual invites will be Messages in the Bottle invites with boxes that resemble suitcases. I have my Kleinfelds appt on Saturday that I am soo excited about!! Have you guys purchased your dresses or do you think we are a lil bit too far out? Also if anyone is doing a TTD session are you using your actual ceremony dress? I am hoping to find a sample sale dress at Davids for the TTD session.

 

There are so many May 2013 brides...I love it!!

 

Great job with your website!!

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So I finally feel apart of the thread now!! I have officially booked my photographer & DJ!!! I am beyond excited to work with Ivan from Luckie Photography and Discomovil!! I have my first appointment on Sunday to try on dresses eek.gif !!!!!! & i CANT wait!!!!woot2.gifNow I just have to finish up my website and send out my STD's.

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Originally Posted by chrisdior View Post

 

So I finally feel apart of the thread now!! I have officially booked my photographer & DJ!!! I am beyond excited to work with Ivan from Luckie Photography and Discomovil!! I have my first appointment on Sunday to try on dresses eek.gif !!!!!! & i CANT wait!!!!woot2.gifNow I just have to finish up my website and send out my STD's.

Have fun dress shopping! Let us know how you make out.

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