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colm226

Guests inviting additional guests?!?!? How do I handle this?

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A very good friend of mine is making a vacation out of our destination wedding.  No problem... I planned for that.  However, she is single and a bit older so she decided to make it into a FAMILY vacation with her Aunt and 3 Nieces.  The nieces are in their early twenties and are very nice girls.  However, my father's family is huge and it was all or nothing... so my Fiancee and I decided not to invite some of our own family members so that we could keep it small and private.  When my friend told me about her plans, I was taken off guard.  She apologized later saying she didn't mean to be rude and invite other people and I shouldn't feel obligated to have them join us at the wedding ceremony/reception, but they will be there all weekend.  What do I do???

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My guess is that they didn't receive an invite right?  And your friend sounds like she has made the other party aware of the issue.  If you really don't want to have them then just make sure you have your friend explicitly explain this to them (politely of course). Its a resort right, I'm sure they will find other things to do during your wedding/reception. 

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Thanks so much for the advice!!!  The invitations have not gone out yet, but my guests are starting to book their trips with the travel agent. 

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I agree, if you tell your friend that you dont mind her inviting other people, but u didnt buget for more people to come to the wedding or reception. If u dont know her family then it shouldnt be that big of a deal for them. 

Good luck

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I know them... but I'm not close with them at all.  She was the one that apologized to me (I didn't even say anything yet).  So, I know she's not trying to be rude... but it would be 4 additional people for us to pay for.  That doesn't even really bother me, I just want the whole event to be private... that's the reason we did a destination wedding in the first place woot.gif

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A similar thing is happening to me!  My finace's aunt + family is coming to ours, and his aunt took it upon herself to invite another family!  We have never met the other family, and to be honest are not even that close with his aunt.  Luckily his mom already told them they're free to come to the resort, but will not be able to attend our actual wedding.

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My fiancee's aunt is also making it a family vacation and her parents are coming on the trip. They are not attending the wedding as we wanted to keep the wedding small and private. It is one day of the week. If it was one person I would have invited them but for us it is a couple and they will just go have dinner together.

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for me thats fine, providing they dont expect a wedding invite. my wedding is one evening...and what they choose to do with the rest of their vacation is their business (though obviously theyre welcome/invited to spend as much time as they want with my fiance and i!)

 

its when guests want to invite people to the wedding that i get annoyed - i mean seriously, youd never dothat for a hometown wedding!!

 

the family will just have to take care of themselves during wedding itself...no big deal in my opinion! if youre single, going to a hotel resort and hanging alone (or feeling like youre always tagging along with bride and groom) isnt that much fun. i think its a good idea to have other people there to be honest
 

Originally Posted by colm226 View Post

A very good friend of mine is making a vacation out of our destination wedding.  No problem... I planned for that.  However, she is single and a bit older so she decided to make it into a FAMILY vacation with her Aunt and 3 Nieces.  The nieces are in their early twenties and are very nice girls.  However, my father's family is huge and it was all or nothing... so my Fiancee and I decided not to invite some of our own family members so that we could keep it small and private.  When my friend told me about her plans, I was taken off guard.  She apologized later saying she didn't mean to be rude and invite other people and I shouldn't feel obligated to have them join us at the wedding ceremony/reception, but they will be there all weekend.  What do I do???



 

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I ran into a similar situation, except it was with my husbands parents wanting to invite all of their friends.  I understand they wanted to have a fun vacation as well.  They invited two extra couples, but we made it very clear to them that they would not be invited to our wedding ceremony or reception.  They never received any invitations and I think they got the hint that they werent going to be allowed to come to the wedding day events so they ended up not coming in the end.  You are definetly okay to not send them an invite for your wedding events.  Its your once special day and you dont want to create any family drama with one side of your family upset because some of the other side of the family came. 

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In my situation, my bridesmaid's friend decided to invite herself and husband to come to Mexico with us.  My bridesmaid asked me if that would be ok and at first I didn't see a problem, but then I decided it was best to tell my bridesmaid no.  I didn't want her friends to be a part of the wedding since I've never met them.  I guess people think its just a nice vacation to tag along to - but its still your wedding.

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