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Are some of your friends and family avoiding you since you mentioned a DW?


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#51 Kel123073

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    Posted 21 May 2012 - 06:09 PM

    Thanks to everyone for sharing. We just mailed our save the dates tonite! It should be interesting to see what happens. We have a lot of family and friends who are saying they are coming. I have had one friend with a ton Of advice and opinions who apparently is telling people it is too expensive behind my back. She was trying to talk me into a cheaper resort. I am finally just okay with the choices my fi and I have made! We luv our resort and feel comfortable recommending it for family and friends to stay at! We do understand it may be oo much of a financial burden for some to attend but we are paying for it and it works for our budget. I have lays dreamed of a destination wedding and my fi is divorced with two children for us it is perfect! I agree with the fact tht when we all get to our resorts none of us will care!

    #52 SparksFly

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      Posted 21 May 2012 - 06:33 PM

      I think we all go through this as DW wedding brides.

       

      Bottom line: family or friend , people are going to look out for their best interests (some circumstances- rightfully so!).

       

      We have plenty of friends who could definately afford the wedding, but aren't coming. They just don't feel like going to Mexico in June...whatever. We have friends who are coming and found a way to make it work (staying at another resort that is like $70 dollars a night down the street). There are ALWAYS options to be there, but people are going to do what they want no matter what.

       

      I am just SO FREAKING GLAD I am not spending $120+ a head to feed these people close by so that it would be easier for THEM to make OUR wedding. Seriously????

       

      This event is about what you and your fiance want. I know you want people there, but whoever comes just know that you will at least have your best friend by your side.



      #53 melcrna80

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        Posted 21 May 2012 - 06:40 PM

        I love this post! Going through a lot of what ws mentioned. Glad I'm not the only one!

        #54 kbell

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          Posted 21 May 2012 - 07:14 PM

          Be warned:

           

          You will have people you least expect at the last minute tell you their not attending.  My wedding is in 6 weeks and I just received a response card from one of my closest friends saying she's not attending.  Very disappointing!   And quite honestly I don't understand.  You just need to let it roll off your back. 

           

          Oh and let me not forget the family members who do nothing but complain about the cost.  

           

          My point is people will let you down during this process.  Expect it and try not to let it get you down, focus on your special day with your special man. 

           

          Good luck!



          #55 bride6262

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            Posted 24 May 2012 - 01:14 PM

            As i posted before we experienced alot of the same problems and are AGAIN with the AHR. we live in kingston, his family is from windsor, mine from sarnia and we are havign the AHR in st. thomas. we figured it was a central location for everyone and my sister so graciously offered her house to hold it at. my parents also have a campground there so it makes it an ideal place to carry the party on after the BBQ. even though it is a central location and only an hour from st. thomas and 1hr45min from windsor (lets note it is 4hr30min from kingston) ppl are still trying to tell us it is TOO far to drive!!! WTF!!! some ppl are just selfish and i am sick of them! like really you cant even drive just over an hour! grrrrrrrrrr

             

            well the spiteful biotch in me thinks "just wait til i have a baby" bahahaha.... if they think driving to london is too far just wait til they have to drive to kingston!!! lol

             

            ok I am done. Thanks for listening!



            #56 balibride

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              Posted 27 May 2012 - 12:19 PM

              Your fiancĀ© is right, it's really hard but I keep trying to remember its their choice, and at the end of the day I oly want ppl there who really really want to be there anyway, stay strong Hun x

              #57 Kel123073

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                Posted 05 June 2012 - 09:58 AM

                So our save the dates went out..... Surprisingly, not even a phone call or text from a lot of friends who initially said they were all going!  Some people are completely avoiding us.  haven't heard from them in weeks and when I have called no answer.  It is a little bit tough.  We both totally understand if people can not afford it but ignoring and avoiding us??  It is just kind of strange!  The wedding will go on wether people can make it or not! 



                #58 maridr2012

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                  Posted 01 July 2012 - 04:26 PM

                  I've gotten a few people who've ignored us.  But I think the  real ignoring will start when the RSVP date comes up and I have to start calling them for a response.  I've got a whole strategy laid out though.  I've waiting a day or two after the RSVP date, and if I get a voicemail I'll leave a message along with sending an email, just letting them know we'd really love if they can join us, but we need to hear back no later than x date (1 wk later) if they will be going and need to be booked.  Otherwise we will have no choice but to assume they are sadly unable to go, and we will be extending invitations to other friends who we really wanted to invite as well. ....The truth is, that's exactly what is going to happen as we have another list of people we wanted to invite - a "B" list but had to invite family members and very close friends first.

                   

                  Hopefully that won't ruffle any feathers or offend anyone.



                  #59 maridr2012

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                    Posted 05 July 2012 - 07:53 AM

                    Well ladies.  My RSVP date is next week...and out of almost 70 invitations that I sent out, I've only received 21 back.  I think this is what is causing me the most anxiety of all, not knowing how many people are actually going!  We have so many people ignoring us, including my own siblings!  I sent a sorta nastygram text to one of my brothers today - he doesn't seem to want to talk to me at all (long drama over something that is TOTALLY all his doing), but I decided I don't really care since I figured he wouldn't be going but I need to know for sure 1 way or another.  I also sent a text to my other brother, who has been hemming & hawing over coming. I think I'm more pissed about him because he's supposed to be one of the groomsmen. But, I really feel bad for my FI because one of his best friends, who is ALSO supposed to be a groomsman, has been ignoring us completely - even when my FI calls, texts, leaves messages etc about when will he be able to go for fittings for suits/attire for the wedding.  My FI is so disappointed, and I know he just wants his friend to tell him either yes I'm going or no, I can't.  Just tell us 1 way or another!    I finally just told him yesterday to send him 1 last text or leave a voicemail explaining if we don't hear back from him by end of next week than we have no choice but to assume he's NOT going, and will exclude him out of all our planning activities.

                     

                    All of this ignoring us and us not being sure if people are going is causing me serious anxiety..I haven't been able to sleep well, I have stomach pains, I'm even having bad dreams.  I truly HATE this part of the wedding planning process.  

                     

                    I sent an email out to all our guests that haven't yet booked a room, letting them know the prices have been reduced and they should take advantage of the lower prices while they're still available and also a reminder that we need RSVPs back by next Friday.  We'll see how that goes.  I'm almost 100% sure I'll still need to harass people for an answer.  But my strategy is to give them only a few more days and if they're still ignoring us than I'll let them know we interpret their lack of response to meaning they are unable to go, and that's that.  



                    #60 SparksFly

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                      Posted 05 July 2012 - 08:10 AM

                      Originally Posted by maridr2012 

                      Well ladies.  My RSVP date is next week...and out of almost 70 invitations that I sent out, I've only received 21 back.  I think this is what is causing me the most anxiety of all, not knowing how many people are actually going!  We have so many people ignoring us, including my own siblings!  I sent a sorta nastygram text to one of my brothers today - he doesn't seem to want to talk to me at all (long drama over something that is TOTALLY all his doing), but I decided I don't really care since I figured he wouldn't be going but I need to know for sure 1 way or another.  I also sent a text to my other brother, who has been hemming & hawing over coming. I think I'm more pissed about him because he's supposed to be one of the groomsmen. But, I really feel bad for my FI because one of his best friends, who is ALSO supposed to be a groomsman, has been ignoring us completely - even when my FI calls, texts, leaves messages etc about when will he be able to go for fittings for suits/attire for the wedding.  My FI is so disappointed, and I know he just wants his friend to tell him either yes I'm going or no, I can't.  Just tell us 1 way or another!    I finally just told him yesterday to send him 1 last text or leave a voicemail explaining if we don't hear back from him by end of next week than we have no choice but to assume he's NOT going, and will exclude him out of all our planning activities.

                       

                      All of this ignoring us and us not being sure if people are going is causing me serious anxiety..I haven't been able to sleep well, I have stomach pains, I'm even having bad dreams.  I truly HATE this part of the wedding planning process.  

                       

                      I sent an email out to all our guests that haven't yet booked a room, letting them know the prices have been reduced and they should take advantage of the lower prices while they're still available and also a reminder that we need RSVPs back by next Friday.  We'll see how that goes.  I'm almost 100% sure I'll still need to harass people for an answer.  But my strategy is to give them only a few more days and if they're still ignoring us than I'll let them know we interpret their lack of response to meaning they are unable to go, and that's that.  

                       I wouldn't worry too much about those who do not RSVP. I wouldn't go after them trying to get an answer yes or no. I had a bunch of people not RSVP at all and guess what...to hell with them.

                       

                      We ended up having a group of 28..one guy dropped out last minute. ( I made him pay me back for his seat because I could not get my money back for his spot since I already made my final payment.)

                       

                      A DW is not supposed to be a huge affair with 100+ people. I think that unless you have a very large family or extremely well off friends anything under 45 people is average-sized.

                       

                      I thought 28 was going to be too small but it was a great size and we all had a blast! Try not to stress ladies. Everything works out for the best.

                       

                      I will say that ever since we have been back that NO ONE from HUBs side of the fam has congratulated us or msg us on facebook or text or ANYTHING. I think that is extremely rude considering we went to all of their weddings recently and brought very nice gifts for their crappy weddings. ( I mean plastic silverwear at a wedding reception??) A card with a nice note would have been very appropriate. Let's just say when I see them for the holidays I will not be pleasant.






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