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my dad just died....

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#11 Alyssa

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    Posted 20 September 2007 - 09:44 AM

    Heidi - I am so sorry to hear that. If you need anything,we are all here for you - just say the word. Stay calm and healthy for baby and know that you are in my thoughts.

    #12 MrsV-to-be

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      Posted 20 September 2007 - 09:45 AM

      I'm so sorry for your loss Heidi. Having gone through a similiar situation myself, I can completely understand and sympathize with your mixed feelings.
      Is it possible for you and your siblings to have a private memorial for your own closure? It doesn't have to be a formal funeral or anything, could be at the park you are going to or in someone's backyard. I think it may help you to say goodbye, and possibly finally forgive him.

      My thoughts will be with you today.

      #13 Fotini

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        Posted 20 September 2007 - 09:48 AM

        so sorry that you have to go through this now, at what should be a joyous time. And even though it seems like you had a small gimmer of hope of reconciling, it also seems like you have been mourning this relationship for a while now. Just remember that you are on your way to creating your own family unit. Maybe, one way of finding closure would be to visit wherever you and your family to chose to do with his remains with your new addition, and know the person that he was before, the one that you have those happy memories with, will be happy and proud of you.

        #14 Lizzy

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          Posted 20 September 2007 - 10:05 AM

          Heidi, please accept my sympathy. I was married to a wonderful man for 7 years. He, like your dad, chose booze and drugs over me and his two small sons. For years I was furious with him that he could be so selfish! Then one day, after much soul searching and help, I realized that he had been fighting demons for years. He was unable to win any battle against them. Gary died 2 years ago. My sons struggled with many of the same feelings you and your siblings are feeling today. They are slowly coming to realize that their dad was who he was. I have almost come to the place where I know he has come back to the real Gary now. No more pain, no more demons, just peace. This is my wish for you. It is a journey, but I know you will find your way. You are a strong and compassionate woman. Much love to you, my friend. Take care.
          For the dance, at the reception, Maggie wore her crinoline and a lovely lace top. Looks like Tadd likes it!

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          #15 Sharonie

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            Posted 20 September 2007 - 10:05 AM

            Oh Heidi, I am terribly sorry to hear about your loss. In the past few weeks, seems like a lot have happened to you and totally unexpected. I can't imagine the emotional cycles you're having to deal with.

            Your dad wasn't being himself in the past few years, so deep down he still loved you. It is good that you can be with your siblings and be there for each other. Please take very good care of yourself during this difficult time, for yourself, your families and your baby. God blesses you!

            #16 Christine

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            Posted 20 September 2007 - 10:13 AM

            Heidi that is terrible that you had to go through that, one of my best friends went through a really similar thing with her father and you know she found some solace in the book a million little pieces even though there was so much controversy over the book, she actually wound up writing the author. It truly helped her deal with the loss of her absentee father. I hope that going to the park will bring you some closure. my mom has always told me my entire life, use your life events to learn something and become a better person for that. You are going to be an amazing mother because you have been through this and know the wrong way to be a parent, your children will benefit from you having to go through this.
            My condolences to your family for the loss and I hope that you can find some peace with your dad.
            Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

            #17 Mrs.Morley

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              Posted 20 September 2007 - 10:14 AM


              I am so sorry for your loss. Right now you have a lot going on and don't let it stress you out too much. Take care of yourself and the baby. Remeber all the good times with your dad and siblings and don't let the negatives get to you. Let us know if you need anything.

              #18 boscobel

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                Posted 20 September 2007 - 11:09 AM

                Heidi - I don't know what to say, it's bascially all been said above. My thoughts are with you and your family today.

                #19 Can'tHardlyWait

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                  Posted 20 September 2007 - 11:18 AM

                  Oh Heidi, I can't even tell you how sorry I am. I imagine it only makes it that much harder that your relationship with your father was such a rollercoaster. My heart really goes out to you and your family... just take care of yourself and each other

                  #20 LadyP

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                    Posted 20 September 2007 - 11:18 AM


                    I am so sorry for your loss. Stay calm by remembering those good times. Maybe God took your dad so that he would be clean and sober for your child when he/she is born. He is now with him/her telling him/her all about his/her beautiful mother and what she was like as a child. He is there protecting your child the way he could not be there for you.

                    He is now your angel the protector of your unborn child.

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