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Heidi

my dad just died....

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Heidi, my heart breaks for you honey. I think I know exactly what you are going through. My father had been out of my life for a long, long time and I always had fantasies of reconnecting, of having a dad. A few years ago I got a phone call informing me that my father had died & I am responsible for his estate & his body. WHAT?? I was in complete shock. I was pissed, i was sad, i was mad.

 

Anyway, what I really want to say to you is that you will feel your own kind of closure by doing what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do right now. Once I got through all of the crazy emotion of "why is this happening right now?" - and I calmed down, I decided the best course of action to take was to handle things in a way that I would be able to look back on & feel no regret what so ever.

 

For me, it entailed paying for his cremation & releasing his ashes to people in his life that cared about him. It entailed dealing with his "estate" (which was a joke). It entailed paying the creditors that were after him, and then after me. Right, wrong or indifferent in others eyes, I did what I needed to do to feel at peace in a shitty situation. And now, 5 years later, I can say I am proud of myself in the way I handled it. I know you can do the same.

 

Hugs & love Heidi. Be good to yourself :)

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Oh Heidi....so so so sorry for your loss. I also lost my father last year, but to cancer so it was a bit more expected. We had a very bad relationship as well and I hadn't spoken with him for a few years before he passed. I didn't think I would get as upset as I did when he died, but the sadness really struck me hard. Every once in a while I still feel aftershocks realizing I'm so young and without one of my parents. People who have lost a parent understand the best, and we are all here for you to help you through your grief. I'm somewhat of an avoidance kind of girl so I never went to therapy or anything about our "unforgivable" issues, but I do think that talking to us/or anyone who will listen is helpful. I didn't take off a moment of work after he died and I think that set me back a bit. You need to take some time to yourself to think about things. Also, surround yourself with loving caring family and friends. Being around others will help. Like I said.....we are all here for you! grouphug.gif

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Heidi,

 

I am so very sorry for your loss! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It's difficult to lose a parent, regardless of the situation, so take the time to feel and express whatever emotions you need to in order to help your heart. Take care of yourself and your baby.

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