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mmb2012

Wedding expenses

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I am planning a destination wedding for November 2012. I was wondering who pays for what? My Fiance's family thinks the brides family pays for the entire wedding and they do not have to pay for anything because it is at an all inclusive resort in mexico.

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destination weddings are different in that anything goes. you can be as traditional as you like, or completely different on every item!

 

generally, guest pay for their own rooms. most families choose to have the brides parents pay for the wedding package, which usually includes the wedding and the reception. but i do personally know a lot of brides who along with their fiance, paid for the wedding themselves.

 

i would hope that if the brides parents are footing the cost of the wedding package, that the grooms parents would host an AHR since there is no rehearsal dinner cost, unless you are going off resort for that...

 

there really are a lot of factors involved, i dont think its as cut as dry as "the brides family pays for it all."

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If it helps any, my mom is paying for the wedding package/reception, his family is paying for the welcome dinner (we wanted something away from resort)  and FI and I are paying for everything else (photographer, favors, OOT, dress/suit, etc). We have not yet decided on whether or not to have an AHR.

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His parents are paying for a quarter, my Dad is paying a quarter, and we are paying the rest. That is what we worked for our family, based on cost and what they wanted/could afford to contribute, and that everyone is happy with. His parents may not feel the same, so you will need to have discussions with your partner and your families and come to an agreement that works.

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Originally Posted by mmb2012 View Post

 

I am planning a destination wedding for November 2012. I was wondering who pays for what? My Fiance's family thinks the brides family pays for the entire wedding and they do not have to pay for anything because it is at an all inclusive resort in mexico.

 

There are differences with everybody. Some couples pay for everything...some brides families pay, others split it between both families.

 

The advantage of a wedding at an all inclusive wedding, is if you have enough rooms (fiances family pay for their own rooms of course) then there are often complimentary wedding packages (up to about 10-20 people). It all depends on what you and your family are happy with - can your family afford to pay for some stuff (and do they want to), can you and your fiance pay for some stuff.

 

I dont think the attitude "your family must pay for everything" is a great one...its a bit old fashioned. My parents have offered me some money (actually basically enough to pay for everything if i used it all), fiance and i will pay for some, fiance's family are also offering to pay for some. Previously fiance and his family had said bride and my family should pay for everything....but it turned out to be a joke. phew.cheesy.gif

 

Best way is talk to your fiance and see what you can afford with the budget available, and then you could always ask them to pay for a bit?

I would tackle it like this (if you need help). Say:

- all guests must pay for own rooms (in case they imagine you're covering it)

- i can afford X Y and Z....but to have entertainment, or flowers or whatever i would need help of $X. then leave it up to them

 

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Couldn't agree more.  We payed for everything ourselves.

 

Originally Posted by schmizer View Post

We are paying for everything ourselves.

 

Destination weddings are traditionally non-traditional:)



 

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I agree...weddings are traditionally un-traditional!  Really, I think all of those rules have pretty much gone out the window anyway.  You just do what works for you.  As of now, my fiance and I are pretty much paying for everything ourselves but we're both in our 30's.  My parents have done enough for me already.  They did pay for my dress and my shoes though, which was great! 

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I agree...weddings are traditionally un-traditional!  Really, I think all of those rules have pretty much gone out the window anyway.  You just do what works for you.  As of now, my fiance and I are pretty much paying for everything ourselves but we're both in our 30's.  My parents have done enough for me already.  They did pay for my dress and my shoes though, which was great! 

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