Wow, you are in a really tough spot. On one hand you have to just appreciate the contribution to your wedding but on the other hand, if it was a gift to you to make your wedding a dream come true then she is eating into that. I think you need to have an honest and open discussion with her, it wont be easy but you can explain that you appreciate her paying the wedding and you are just trying to understand if the $30,000 was entirely for your wedding or did you now have to take almost $10,000 off of that to pay for her friends because now you cant afford the photog you want? You almost need to make her see it dollar wise to realize how she is impacting you. I definitely dont think she or you need to be paying anyones expenses. If they cant afford it, they dont go. Thats the reality of having a DW. If your mom insists then maybe you need to compromise that the budget she offered you as a gift needs to cover all of your wedding requirements (to me a photographer is a requirement) and if there is money left over then you can put guests up at the Caribe. You can also compromise with her that if guests are being paid for then you should be able to pay your friends way and everyone has to be put up at the same hotel so its fair. I think her eyes just need to be opened.
Personally, if i had a child and i offered money to pay the wedding, i would write the cheque and let the gift be a gift. If i started spending the money for them then its not really a gift anymore.
Originally Posted by SparksFly
Long story short...
Getting married at the Royal in Cancun (5 star hotel)
Offering that guests stay at the Royal or the Caribe (sister resort 3.5 star)
My mom thinks it's rude to throw a destination wedding without offering people accomedations...well...at least to her friends.
I have a 15K-17K budget that I VERY much want to stay in because whatever money I do not spend out of 30K is mine to keep.
My mother who is paying for the wedding is offering her friends left and right rooms at the Royal (not the caribe, god FORBID they had to stay at the caribe) at like $400 a night!
I want my mom to have friends there, but these are established people in the 40-50's. Why am I paying for their rooms?
So far it's close to $7500 just on family and friends (of my parents). Am I being ridiculous? I am trying to squeeze money out of our budget now so I can pay for a photographer, but its not looking good.
Again, am I being ridiculous and selfish?