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FI sister... do I have to make her a bridesmaid???


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I can honestly say I have been the 'grooms sister' before.  My oldest brother was engaged to be married and I honestly had no intention of being in the wedding party as I didn't really know his Fiance and didnt particularily like her.  I was asked to be a bridesmaid and of course I accepted, only because of my brother.  Their engagement ended up falling through and they never did get married, but it was just the feeling that I would get to stand up there and be included in my brothers wedding which was a great feeling.  I think you should probably have her, and in the end it will probably only help your relationship with her.

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I assumed its just traditional to invite fiances sister - i dont have a super close relationship with FSIL (my spanish is rubbish and shes too shy to speak english unless drunk) but im inviting her to be a bridesmaid anyway. I live in Mexico so his family is going to be my only family nearby - once we start trying for a baby etc, my family will be too far to help me out. So ill leave it to her to decide if she wants to but shes invited, i think it will make us closer =)  Family is super important in Mexico - and it will help show that i really want to be part of theirs

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Def do not have to have her. I had the same issue. The more I thought about it, the more I thought I should. But on the day that I was going to ask her to be one, we were suppose to have coffee, and she cancelled to sleep in. Made me realize that if she doesn't care about getting close to me then why am I going to make her a BM. Besides, I only want people in my wedding party that are supportive and won't bail on me. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I struggled with this issue.  I don't have any sisters of my own, and I really wanted to keep the bridal party to a few people - I was comfortable with 3.  My FI has 2 sisters.  I knew I'd have 2 of my best friends, and I figured 1 of his sisters.  The other sister I wasn't going to ask because her son (his nephew) would be ring bearer.  But, I knew it would cause a huge fallout with his Italian-American family.  I didn't want to start our marriage and my entering their family with hard feelings, so I decided to have BOTH sisters.  Now...I have 3 brothers, but I knew only 1 can realistically attend our destination wedding.  So...I told FI he had to make my 1 brother a groomsmen, and to balance the 2 from his party, he also had to have 1 of my best guy friends also in his groomsmen.  Fair is fair..he agreed, and it's worked out well.  We now have 4 bridesmaids, and get this...7 groomsmen...and a ring bearer.  LOL.  Whatevs.  It's what made him happy, and I'm cool with it, so that's all that matters.

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I am on the opposite side and I have a brother and sister and my FI has one brother. Him and his brother aren't close so he isn't having him but my brother and sister are super close to me so my FI is having my brother as a groomsmen as he knows how much it means to me and him. If he had a sister I would have her as I think it shows a united family but it is your wedding and ultimately you should do what you want.

 

Hope this helps

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  • 2 months later...

I am making my FI's sister a bridesmaid because he wants her as one. Both of his siblings are in our wedding, not sure if they are even going to come (they have both made comments about not being able to afford it). My full sister I did not ask because I know she can't afford to come the DW, so I did not want her to feel obligated.   I have my 1/2 sister as a my maid of honor, my cousin, a good friend and his sister.  She asked me to stand in her wedding, but I just feel she did it because she felt obligated to do so, now I am having her stand because FI thinks it is the right thing to do. 

 

I am buying my attendants attire and was hoping to buy off the rack to save money, I feel strange about asking her size as she is plus size and we are not close so I don't want to offend her.  So finding my attendants attire has been challenging.  I know she has no intentions of hanging out with me all day while I watch her try on dresses.   

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