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Do you give your parents gifts, if.....


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#1 Jamie5280

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    Posted 06 January 2012 - 09:06 AM

    Hello Ladies (and gents)

     

    I searched through several threads and my questions wasn't quite answered from what I read through.

     

    So here it is-

     

    Do you buy your parents a separate gift if they are not helping financially with the wedding???

     

    My FI and I (like most of you) are paying for our wedding ourselves.  Which we are fine with.  But we just don't know what to do about gifts to the parents?

     

    I also have a step mom, whom I am not close with, nor is someone that I wish to spend money on, as she is extremely ungrateful and tells you to your face if she doesn't like what you got her.  Nor has she helped with anything AT ALL, but yet, will take credit.  There is a definite lack of interest from both my dad, his wife and FI's dad.  Not that the lack of interest should dictate the "gifts", though.

     

    I just want to know- is it "etiquette" to get our parents something separately or are the gifts we give our guests, as a thank you for coming, good enough?

     

     

    Thanks!!!

     



    #2 LCBride2007

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      Posted 06 January 2012 - 10:50 AM

      well, we didn't get gifts for anyone.  i guess i never considered doing that, and not because of who paid for what ... but i guess i don't understand why we'd buy our parents a gift for our wedding!  lol  i don't mean to be a smartass, but that's my honest thought!



      #3 Jamie5280

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        Posted 06 January 2012 - 11:01 AM

        HAHAHA!!!   I see where you are coming from.  Hence my question....But so many people get gifts for their parents and present the gifts to them at let's say the rehearsal dinner, just like you would for your wedding party.  I have been in 10 weddings and all the brides and grooms presented their parents with some sort of gift when they gave us ours, whether it be a picture frame/album, jewelry, cuff links, etc....

         

        A lot of threads on here also consist of  what people are doing for their parents in regards to a gift, so I was just curious if I HAD to get our parents something, like we are for our wedding party.  But you just made me think that maybe we don't have to! :)



        #4 LCBride2007

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          Posted 06 January 2012 - 11:18 AM

          i also didn't have a wedding party.  so there goes that!  lol

           

          but for my first wedding, which was definitely more traditional (large wedding party, parents helped pay, etc.) we didn't do gifts either.  i think we got them a framed print of the wedding pics (probably a family pic) afterwards but nothing at the wedding.



          #5 Sharon99

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            Posted 06 January 2012 - 12:40 PM

            Great thread! I didnt know why people were giving gifts either but since I read it on here I thought crap do I have to do this too!! We are paying for everything ourselves also and dont plan on buying them anything. We will just give them a few pics of our professional ones after the fact.

             



            #6 Jamie5280

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              Posted 06 January 2012 - 12:48 PM

              Well thanks Chickies!  You just made my decision for me!  No gifts for the parentals!

               

               



              #7 JayKay

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              Posted 07 January 2012 - 06:57 AM

              We aren't giving any formal gifts to anyone, even parents while in Jamaica.  Rather, when we get back from our wedding and have our photos we plan to make them photo books as a gift for them.



              #8 Allie2012

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                Posted 07 January 2012 - 07:14 AM

                Hey Jamie, 

                 

                My parents are not contributing any money towards our wedding, BUT my mother is hand making beach bags to use as our OOT bags and they are so beautiful and time consuming on her part! So I definitely want to give her a 'thank you' gift. I found a really nice handcrafted jewellery set that will match her dress nicely that is around $50, so I plan on giving that to her.

                My FI parents are insisting on giving us money towards the wedding even though I told my FI I didn't want them to. I will probably also buy his mom a jewellery set as she doesn't have a daughter, so I know this would mean a lot to her :) As for the 'dads' we probably won't get them anything.

                I honestly think you shouldn't have to buy a gift for anyone, but if someone has done something special then maybe you would want to get them a little thank you gift. 



                #9 Tia529

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                  Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:58 AM

                  I definitely don't think you HAVE to get your parents anything, and I have a lot of friends who haven't.  I don't think many parents expect to get anything, but I think it would be a very thoughtful gesture to do something special for them.  Even if they aren't contributing anything to the cost of the wedding, like my parents, they have still done more for me than I could ever repay them throughout the years.



                  #10 Jamie5280

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                    Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:07 AM

                    Thanks ladies! I definitely see where you are coming from, but I just have never been Daddy's little girl. For example-my dad just went out and bought my younger sister, who is 22 a new car, just cause, she had one that worked just fine, but won't contribute towards the wedding. My younger sister is Daddy's little girl, it is what it is, but again we just aren't that close. My mom has passed and my dads wife is awful, that's why I had a hard time deciding if I should.... We are going to pay for all the men to deep sea fish, so I think I am ok with that being their gift. :) uote name="Allie2012" url="/t/77399/do-you-give-your-parents-gifts-if#post_1714552"] Hey Jamie,  My parents are not contributing any money towards our wedding, BUT my mother is hand making beach bags to use as our OOT bags and they are so beautiful and time consuming on her part! So I definitely want to give her a 'thank you' gift. I found a really nice handcrafted jewellery set that will match her dress nicely that is around $50, so I plan on giving that to her. My FI parents are insisting on giving us money towards the wedding even though I told my FI I didn't want them to. I will probably also buy his mom a jewellery set as she doesn't have a daughter, so I know this would mean a lot to her :) As for the 'dads' we probably won't get them anything. I honestly think you shouldn't have to buy a gift for anyone, but if someone has done something special then maybe you would want to get them a little thank you gift.  [/quote] Lu [quote name="Tia529" url="/t/77399/do-you-give-your-parents-gifts-if#post_1714663"] I definitely don't think you HAVE to get your parents anything, and I have a lot of friends who haven't.  I don't think many parents expect to get anything, but I think it would be a very thoughtful gesture to do something special for them.  Even if they aren't contributing anything to the cost of the wedding, like my parents, they have still done more for me than I could ever repay them throughout the years. [/quote]




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