I have never posted anything on a site before so I am brand new at this, but here it goes!
My sister and I are 7 years apart, me being the younger one. I have always been a mommas girl and her a daddy's girl (our parents split up when she was 8 and i was 9 months old). I have always been the hopeless romantic wanting nothing more than kids and a family so i could be the mom that my mom was to me. She is cold and calculated like my father. She has hated me from the day i was born, which is something she has vocalized to me on more than one occasion. She was very nasty to me growing up and went out of her way to embarrass me or make my life harder and more painful. She met a man and had a baby with him when she was in her early 20's and me in my mid teens. I could not have been happier for her and it brought us closer together as a result, which was great seeing as how i always wanted her acceptance. As we got closer she started to do things I did, started wearing the clothes I did and taking credit for how awesome they were. That being said I have always been a little touchy on the subject of people biting my style and not giving credit where it is due...
The man she was with proposed to her numerous times and she always said no, she did not believe in marriage and never wanted to get married, something that she has felt from a young age. Their lives took a turn for the worse when he took his own life, a VERY sad situating seeing as how she had left him for the 10th time and was planning on going back again, and now my nephew has no father.
We lost our mom last year, an extremely traumatic event that brought us closer yet again. I was very close with my mom and I am feeling very alone, which is why I am posting this. I got engaged in June, an extremely happy day for me!! We had been dating for a little over a year and a half, been living together for 6 months and known each other for 6 years.She had been dating this new guy for 8 months and had wanted to end things with him 3 or 4 times already. When I shared the good news with her she was so mad and mean it ruined my day (i know i shouldn't have let it but its easier said than done). My now fiance had shared with her last November that he was going to purpose to me and we are going to get married in Hawaii, my moms favorite place in the whole world so there would be something of her at the wedding, my sister laughed. (my fiance told me this a few weeks after he purposed and she was still laying on the hurt).
About a week after we got engaged all of a sudden she now wanted to get married and i thought oh please no, please don't do this to my wedding day. Well guess what, she is. i have already set a date and informed just about everyone to start saving as its a DW. She called me around the middle of September just to let me know that is her bf purposed she will say yes, and get married in Hawaii before me. i kind of laughed it off hoping it was a joke. its not. she got engaged yesterday and didn't even have the balls to tell me, she got her son to call me and tell me and i could hear her telling him what to say in the background. Here is where the confused feelings come in. On one hand I am SO happy for her and her bf is a really great guy and an amazing role model for my nephew. On the other hand I am angry, hurt, confused, and really disappointed in her. I feel like she is getting married just so she can spite me. i dot think she is being fair to her bf and i think she is getting married for the wrong reasons and is going to hurt alot of people in the process. I am also feeling like she is stealing my thunder, which is a selfish thing to say i don't like to even admit it to myself.
All of my friends want to rip her a new one, but that will not solve anything it will just make it worse. If i mention how i am feeling to her she will flip it on me and tell everyone in our family that i am being a spoiled brat bridezilla. which i am kind of feeling like a brat but i am by no means a bridezilla, i just want my special day, that will already be a VERY hard day for me due to the loss of my mom, to be mine. i feel horrible for feeling this way and have no idea what to do. i am feeling so many emotions that are all contradicting, please help!