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No one from his side is coming!


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#1 pfeiffla

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    Posted 26 October 2011 - 08:02 PM

    Hi Ladies!

     

    I'm just having a moment because I'm annoyed that none of my FI side is coming to our wedding!  I understand the whole money issue and we knew that most of them wouldn't be able to attend, and honestly, he didn't want most of them there (including his mother)...but if it was your kid getting married, wouldn't you want to be there, even if your relationship isn't on the up & up?  Wouldn't you regret it later?  I've made peace with it and know we don't want any negativity there and that the people who are supposed to be there are going to be.  I just feel that money reasons are being used as an excuse, when they really don't want to deal with the real issue....especially since there was 14 months notice!  Anyways, I think I've done a pretty good job of making it a non-issue.  I just hope that my FI doesn't later regret not patching things up...

     

    and a side note- I think it's crappy that people have to play the victim and they are so good at it, that it actually affects the people that listen to it.  Don't people realize there's always 2 sides to every story?  Too bad the one that plays the victim is the one with the bigger mouth.

     

    After typing this- NEVER MIND!  I'm glad it is just going to be us.  I am now reminded why we have seperated ourselves so much from them :)



    #2 monicak

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      Posted 27 October 2011 - 03:48 AM

      Hang in there!

       

      People who adore you will make it to your wedding; the ones who don't - who cares!  You will have the time of your life and beautiful pictures to show off when you get back!



      #3 merrylee

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        Posted 27 October 2011 - 03:58 AM

        My FI's dad and new step mom are not coming to our wedding either.  FI's sister got married at the Beach Palace in 2010 and they went for that wedding but they decided that our wedding is not their type of "vacation" ummm...not about you.  But yes I know how you feel.  And it still does hurt a little bit especially because I love FI so much and I know it hurts him, but then I think I wouldn't want them there anyway.  It is a mixed bag of emotion and you are definitely entitled to change your mind every day if you want to. :)



        #4 pfeiffla

        pfeiffla
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          Posted 27 October 2011 - 07:17 PM


          Thanks merrylee!

           

          Maybe our inlaws live near eachother, because they sure sound alot alike!  You and I probably live about 20 minutes away from eachother, so I know it's not in our water! ;)
           

          Originally Posted by merrylee 

          My FI's dad and new step mom are not coming to our wedding either.  FI's sister got married at the Beach Palace in 2010 and they went for that wedding but they decided that our wedding is not their type of "vacation" ummm...not about you.  But yes I know how you feel.  And it still does hurt a little bit especially because I love FI so much and I know it hurts him, but then I think I wouldn't want them there anyway.  It is a mixed bag of emotion and you are definitely entitled to change your mind every day if you want to. :)



           



          #5 merrylee

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            Posted 28 October 2011 - 03:38 AM


            : )  well they live in Pewaukee but we'll blame it on the Appleton water where he grew up.

            Originally Posted by pfeiffla 


            Thanks merrylee!

             

            Maybe our inlaws live near eachother, because they sure sound alot alike!  You and I probably live about 20 minutes away from eachother, so I know it's not in our water! ;)
             



             



             



            #6 anudrm

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              Posted 28 October 2011 - 06:00 AM

              As my mother says, the only people that truly need to be there are you & he.  No one from my husband said is coming besides his cousin that we had to pay for!  Out of anger and sadness, he said to me recently that I - meaning myself alone - planned a DW with no intentions of his family coming.  It is not my fault and I will not bend over backwards to accomodate folks who do nothing to accommodate us.  So oh well, it does hurt me that none of them are big enough to step outside of their box to be there for him, at the same time it is neither his or my battle, so I refuse to fight it.

               

              Cheer up, those who place you as important in their lives will be there, smiling, crying, cheering!!! Enjoy their presence.



              #7 yunric

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                Posted 28 October 2011 - 06:58 AM

                Absolutely agree.

                 

                Most people who really matter will be there.  I understand there are a few legitimate reasons for not coming to our DW, but when your future sister in law and family aren't coming... It just makes me so sad for my future husband.  He only has one sister and she can't make it.  I know he is upset, but doesn't want to make a big deal of it. 

                Now there's talk of an AHR... Really??  This is why we are going to MEXICO!

                 

                I will soak up the sun, the tequila and the love of family and friends who are there!!

                 

                Best wishes ladies!



                #8 Jessica4LUXE

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                  Posted 28 October 2011 - 07:18 AM

                  I hear all of you! No matter what the relationship, these situations are not easy. Generally I always say that the "important" people will always make it to your destination wedding no matter what... but then it's still not always the case. People get pregnant, people hate flying, people don't want to go, people hold grudges... I've seen this scenario many times over. It's hard to please everyone's wishes. Could you offer to spend some of your wedding budget towards their trip (if they truly cannot afford it)? Many of our clients do this as a discreet way of making sure certain guests are in attendance.

                   

                  At the end of the day, life is precious and too short to hold grudges. No matter how much this bothers you or hurts your FI inside (even if he doesn't admit it), be supportive of him and try and look at the bright side of things, focus on the positives of who's coming and how amazing your wedding will be!



                  #9 pfeiffla

                  pfeiffla
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                    Posted 30 October 2011 - 07:19 PM


                    I couldn't agree more!


                     

                    Originally Posted by Jessica4LUXE 

                    I hear all of you! No matter what the relationship, these situations are not easy. Generally I always say that the "important" people will always make it to your destination wedding no matter what... but then it's still not always the case. People get pregnant, people hate flying, people don't want to go, people hold grudges... I've seen this scenario many times over. It's hard to please everyone's wishes. Could you offer to spend some of your wedding budget towards their trip (if they truly cannot afford it)? Many of our clients do this as a discreet way of making sure certain guests are in attendance.

                     

                    At the end of the day, life is precious and too short to hold grudges. No matter how much this bothers you or hurts your FI inside (even if he doesn't admit it), be supportive of him and try and look at the bright side of things, focus on the positives of who's coming and how amazing your wedding will be!



                     



                    #10 pfeiffla

                    pfeiffla
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                      Posted 30 October 2011 - 07:31 PM

                      My future MIL offered to have a reception later; but not where we live...where her family lives so they all could come!  My FI about flipped a lid when I told him.  He said she's just doing that to make herself feel better for not coming and why would we have a reception where my family would have to drive 7 hours to come to?  He thought that was totally unfair to my family and if we had an AHR where we actually live, his side would only have to drive 45 minutes to attend anyways!  So, I guess that just proves that if you think something is important, you make it happen!  I guess we know where we stand!  ;)

                       

                      Originally Posted by yunric 

                      Absolutely agree.

                       

                      Most people who really matter will be there.  I understand there are a few legitimate reasons for not coming to our DW, but when your future sister in law and family aren't coming... It just makes me so sad for my future husband.  He only has one sister and she can't make it.  I know he is upset, but doesn't want to make a big deal of it. 

                      Now there's talk of an AHR... Really??  This is why we are going to MEXICO!

                       

                      I will soak up the sun, the tequila and the love of family and friends who are there!!

                       

                      Best wishes ladies!



                       






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