Originally Posted by Peach
Okay, if anyone reads this, I am after some advice...
There has been a LOT of family drama on my side about a DW. I have been trying not to let it bother me. But the other day my dad called and spoke rationally but still emotionally about their concerns. Namely:
1 - I am the first in my entire family to be married, and my grandparents (we both have all 4 still) are too old to travel. I am very close with them and my grandmas are fairly heartbroken about missing it. I am planning on doing an AHR there, but apparently that is not enough.
2 - I come from a religious family; which are all extremely concerned that I am not being married in a church (I have always wanted to be married outside)
3 - the time of year - farmer family, all busy haying. Might not be able to come for that long.
I cannot do anything about 3. I am a teacher; I get summers off. That is when it will be.
BUT - even though FI and I really wanted to do everything - legal and whatnot - in the Dominican, we are thinking maybe we could get legally married here first, with just parents and grandparents. In a church.
Here is my dilemma. If we do the legal thing at home, and the DW, AND the AHR.... is that not a bit MUCH? We would keep the legal thing here simple... small church ceremony, going out for dinner to a restaurant. That is it. We really did not want to do this, but we understand how important it is to my grandparents...
I just can't help but think, then why even do a DW? Is this not a lot?
I know a lot of brides get legally married first, so... what do you think? I guess I just need my mind eased.
We were considering this actually, doing a legal ceremony here with immediate family and the fiance's grandmother that will not be attending and then going out to dinner afterwards. We still might do it, just as something nice to do. My future brother-in-law also got married in a DW and the had a legal ceremony in Banff (they lived in Edmonton at the time) with both sets of parents and then were married in Aruba six months later.
Do what you think is best. I think it might be a nice way to appease your grandmother if you're close with her. It is your wedding and you can do as you like. You also have two options if you do decide to do a small legal ceremony at home: you can either keep it between you and the small amount of people attending or have everyone know. We would not tell anyone if we do it just because we feel people wouldn't attend the DW if they don't feel like it's the "real" wedding (which it is in my mind, the legal ceremony would not be my wedding date). FBIL had pictures from their legal ceremony posted on facebook.
Good luck with whatever you decide!! Families can make destination weddings really difficult at times.