Originally Posted by Peach
Okay, if anyone reads this, I am after some advice...
There has been a LOT of family drama on my side about a DW. I have been trying not to let it bother me. But the other day my dad called and spoke rationally but still emotionally about their concerns. Namely:
1 - I am the first in my entire family to be married, and my grandparents (we both have all 4 still) are too old to travel. I am very close with them and my grandmas are fairly heartbroken about missing it. I am planning on doing an AHR there, but apparently that is not enough.
2 - I come from a religious family; which are all extremely concerned that I am not being married in a church (I have always wanted to be married outside)
3 - the time of year - farmer family, all busy haying. Might not be able to come for that long.
I cannot do anything about 3. I am a teacher; I get summers off. That is when it will be.
BUT - even though FI and I really wanted to do everything - legal and whatnot - in the Dominican, we are thinking maybe we could get legally married here first, with just parents and grandparents. In a church.
Here is my dilemma. If we do the legal thing at home, and the DW, AND the AHR.... is that not a bit MUCH? We would keep the legal thing here simple... small church ceremony, going out for dinner to a restaurant. That is it. We really did not want to do this, but we understand how important it is to my grandparents...
I just can't help but think, then why even do a DW? Is this not a lot?
I know a lot of brides get legally married first, so... what do you think? I guess I just need my mind eased.
Sorry I didn't see this earlier! I ended up having 3 weddings - a civil, a DW and a religious.
The civil was because we didn't want to go through the hassle of doing it legal in Mexico so we went to the courthouse with 2 friends as witnesses a few weeks before the DW.
The DW was the big wedding with all the bells and whistles. It was small (35 people) and a lot of our family couldn't make it. It would have been amazing for everyone we love to be there but our desire for a DW trumped that.
The religious wedding was at a chapel in our hometown where much of our families live. (it was actually a mini DW for us because its 400 miles away lol). We then had a reception/AHR where everyone came. Many of the guests had been to our DW 2 months earlier but it didn't matter. Who doesn't love a party?
So is it a little much? Probably. Do I regret it? No! We got to celebrate with everyone and it was fun. I think there is something to be said for doing it just to please your grandparents. It is a nice gesture if you ask me. Of course its your life and you don't have to do anything you don't want to, but if it isn't too much of a pain in the neck to please them then why not? It will all work out