Ok...I apologize in advance for how long this is going to be, but I just got yet another e-mail from a "friend" that said she isn't coming to our wedding. And I REALLY need to vent
Here's the deal with these 3 girls. I have known them for about 15 years and we were college roommates.
Here's the back story..
About 3 1/2 years ago, I moved to Houston with my Ex and 2 of the girls got pregnant with their first child. I ended up moving back 3 months later and they were less than responsive to my return. Didn't care that my ex and I broke up, that I moved back only to live with my sister and her family, didn't have a job, etc...it was stressful to say the least. But they ended up getting mad at me because I didn't spend enough time with their newborns, despite them never inviting me to their bbq's, etc.. they had.
Fast forward to a year and 1/2 ago, my mom and FI's mom dies within 2 months of each other over x-mas and valentines day. My mom's death was unexpected, so needless to say I took it pretty hard for many reasons that I won't get into now. But when FI's mom got really ill, FI was visiting his parents in MN (my mom died the day he flew out to MN) and his mom literally went into the hospital the day after he came back home to be with me after my mom died. I was not OK at all. My mom wasn't married, so my brother and I had to do all of her estate stuff alone. My mom's family wouldn't help either. We had to pay her bills, arrange to sell the house, clean the entire house out, etc...But on top of that stress I had to deal with my FI dealing with his mom dying!!! You would think that we were so great together during that time, but truth is we almost broke up. It's way too hard to be there for one another when you are both in so much pain! I was over-reacting, temperamental, stressed, mean, etc...Well one of these girls e-mailed me and let me have it, this is her e-mail "Do I think you are mean-YES, Do I think you are a bad girlfriend-YES, Do I think you are a bad friend-YES." I bawled and told her she had no idea what I was going through and to cut me a break and she went on to say that I am all those things all over again. When I went to MN for FI's mom's funeral, 2 of the girls went on to tell all our college friends at a party that I was an alcoholic and if I wasn't careful I was going to end up like my mother. Talk about the meanest girls EVER, right!!!??? Well, I ended up forgiving them...Not sure why.
Fast forward to now. All 3 college roommates have informed me that they "can't" come to my wedding. Mind you, I was in ALL 3 of theirs and spent no less than $1000 on each. One of them actually had a DW that I was in. 1 said she can't go because her husband is in the FBI and the FBI won't let them travel to Mexico!??? the 2nd one said she cant go because of money and her son's health (I actually understand this one) the 3rd said she can't go because of money (this is the one that had a DW). Ummm....she has been to Sonoma, Aspen and NYC just this year! I don't know why I am even surprised at all, but it still stings! But now they are like, we want to plan all your parties, blah blah blah! UM, NO Thanks!!! They actually just helped me decide that I am not going to have an AHR. I just can't believe they aren't coming after everything I have done for them and their kids!!!!! But I am done.
OK-Thank you all very much!!! I feel better!