If anyone is following this story...
We are back from our wedding and it was fabulous! I had such an amazing time there with really great friends/family . I wouldn't have done anything different.
I'm glad we booted them out of our bridal party and I don't regret that decision at all. In fact, a few people mentioned they were happy that those two weren't there because they are such negative/boring/complaining people that they would have made it a bad time.
The BM I kicked out, didn't show up to my bridal shower after sending my MOH an email saying that regardless of all the "stupidness" she still wanted to attend.
I thought she was bucking up and actually being a mature, responsible adult...I was wrong lol. She didn't show up. Had my mother pay for a plate at the reception hall for her saying that she was coming and didn't even have the decency to cancel or tell anyone that she wouldn't be coming the day of.
We have been back since November 13th.
I haven't got one message from either one of them congratulating us (my husband hasn't received anything either). This BM's husband took the time to "like" a random picture I had on Facebook - but still hasn't said congratulations to us and couldn't' be bothered to "like" any of our wedding photos that were also posted.
He did try to call my husband a couple of days ago and my husband can't be bothered dealing with him so he didn't pick up - no voicemail, nothing.
So I guess in the end I'm glad I made the decisions I made - they are obviously self-centered, evil people who are not good friends and lack maturity.
I think we all had a better time without them there