Hi. Not sure if this is in the right place, mods feel free to move it.
My FI and I are getting married in Aruba in October. To make things easier we decided to get married legally here to avoid paperwork, more expense, etc. I have two adult daughters who are giong to be my Maids of Honor. When they originally found out about the wedding in Aruba they weren't really happy about it and they told me they wouldn't be going. They hate the beach and would never travel to Aruba, it was expensive, etc. By the way, my girls are both very successful and make over 6 figures each. Of course I felt bad but what could I do?
My niece talked to them and said that they really should go. They felt bad and they booked their trip. As you can imagine I was ecstatic. I paid the $600 for their dresses and their room for 2 of the 4 nights they'll be there. I am paying for them to have a massage, manicure and pedicure as well as some other goodies for them.
One of my daughters called me the other night and I casually mentioned the date that we were getting legally married and asked if they would like to be included. She was shocked that I wasn't getting married in Aruba (I thought I already told them, I guess I didn't). She called me last night to tell me how upset she was that the whole purpose of them "taking a week off of work" and are spending a lot of money was because they thought we were really getting married in Aruba. I told her that it was just a signing of papers and it would not be our anniversary date and that it was very common for brides to do this. What we feel is that our real wedding is when our friends and family are with us on the beach as we say our vows and exchange rings and having the officient announce us as husband and wife. She starting going on again and I said "if that's the way you feel don't come" and hung up in her.
I am ashamed that I did that but I am so stressed out right now because of everything else going on (you all understand). I sent them both an email explaining how we felt and told them that I wasn't upset with them at all but I can't change the way they feel or how we feel. I told them that if that's how they feel that it was okay if they didn't go and offered to repay them for their airfare.They said they are still going but now I am feeling really sad about this. What can I do or say to make myself feel better? I feel like the wedding is spoiled knowing that people will be there thinking it's not my "real" wedding.