Ohhhh boy...can I just say that there have been a number of discussions in this household about that very subject. FI is against making lists/registering/suggesting...anything of that nature...for ANY occasion, whether it be birthdays, Christmas, etc. I, on the other hand, LOVE to work off a registry. I make it my mission to seek it out as soon as it's available and watch the flyers and in-store specials for items on that registry. A couple of weeks ago, I presented a bride with a beautiful $70 salad bowl on her registry as a shower gift...giddy inside that I paid a mere $17.99 for it a few weeks earlier. NOW...I recognize that I am not in the norm when it comes to bridal registry shopping. Many a store clerk have told me that guests usually race in with their hair on fire an hour before the reception is to start, wondering what is left on the registry that they can purchase. But it's a fun game for me! My big issue with registering then, is why would I put a $150 henkels knife on our registry and have a guest purchase it at that price...when I know good and well that if I watch the sales, I could get it for 50 - 60% off if I bought it myself!?! So here's me, scanning the flyers each week for the items on MY registry...thinking, well I might as well go out and get it myself for that price! FI's mother was going to buy us one of those really expensive pot sets that they sell at trade shows, fairs, etc as a wedding gift. For that price, we could replace our dining room set that I bought for $200 15 years ago! This spring, there was a door-crasher special at a major department store here of the top of the line Henkels pot sets ($1000) , WITH a bonus 18/10 cutlery service for 8...all for $249! Our old pots went into the camping gear box, and FI's mother doesn't need to worry about pots for us anymore.
To a certain extent, we are sitting where you are sitting...blissfully happy and really in need of nothing in particular. We LOVE to travel...that is our passion..and as it happens, the travel agency we are using offers a travel registry...where they will hold the money in trust to use on your next vacation/honeymoon (no service fees with them). I thought maybe we had reached a compromise in deciding to register for a few items that really would be nice to replace (with a plan to donate old items to charity)...as well as to do a travel registry. But neither of our mothers was wild about the idea...and my aunts had a bit of a discussion with me as to what they wanted to do...they would prefer to just give money. UGHHHH...I don't know what the solution is. Believe me...I have seen some of the "interesting" items given over the years to couples...and those who register are not immune! The store clerk that we did meet with about doing a registry mentioned that, for couples in our situation, she suggests scanning items you already have and indicating that they are purchased. So for example, put a crockpot on your registry, but then go in and mark it as "purchased", you will be far less likely to get 10 crockpots for shower and wedding gifts (according to her anyway). I thought that was an interesting concept.
If you do a search, there are all kinds of "cutesy" poems and whatnot that could be written in a shower invite, on your wedding website, etc. to indicate that you'd prefer $ over gifts. That is not really our style. We chose not to include anything about gifts with the invitation as well. I've kinda had a discussion with my mom about things that we could use that we couldn't even register for...like dishes at Costco or seasonal/camping stuff that's being cleared out of the stores for CHEAP as we speak! As for the others, I think most people will get the hint...those that don't likely have something already tucked away in their closets with our names on it.
I don't think I've answered your questions, but let's see what others have to say...
Originally Posted by ROXY6997
Hi everyone! I have read numerous threads on this topic, but I haven't really found what I am looking for, so I was hoping I could get some of your personal opinions. This is going to turn into a rant and I by no means intend to offend anyone or their ideals, this is just my personal perspective.
I am against registering for two reasons...the first being the obvious point that guests are already spending a lot on travel.
The second reason is because my fiance and I combined two full households into one when we moved in together and we already have most everything we need.
Some guests are stating that it is important that we register, not for our own convenience/selfishness, but for the ease of those who wish or insist on buying us gifts. I absolutely agree with them, but I really feel that we have nothing to put on the registries. I understand the whole "I would rather have guests buy me something I like than something non-returnable that I hate or don't need" concept...but seriously, there is about three things I can think of to ask for.
Sure, we could use "better" models of things we already have, but what we have is good enough until we actually need new ones...no need to be wasteful. I despise the idea of "making up" items that I need just to create a registry. The items we do want are really on the high end of the price range (which is why we don't have them yet) and I think it would be unreasonable to have only very expensive things on a registry. On top of that, I find it silly to create a registry with only 10 or less items on it!
So, after that long intro, my question is how can I not register while still providing ideas for gifts from people??? I want to put some option out there so people don't struggle in finding something to give, if that is their choice. I have seen the "honeymoon fund" sites, but I think they rip you off by charging 7% for your guests to give you something...a gift magically loses value for the sake of convenience.
I want to put this info on my wedding website, but is there a tactful way of saying we already have what we need, but if you really want to give us something here is where we shop and here is where we bank?!?!
Sorry, I am tying to be humerous simply because I am frustrated and torn between ettiquette, tradition, and what I think is right. Hope you ladies have some good tips
Thanks for the help and best wishes on all your planning!