I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT!!!! Last night I finally told my FI that I had enough and we went over to confront his family once and for all!!! His dad ended up not being home so we had a sit down with his mother. At first he wanted to go alone, but I went with my gut and insisted on being there so they couldn't manipulate him anymore. Thank goodness I did. For the first time ever she actually displayed her aggressiveness in front of me so I could address it, rather than playing nice to my face and then guilt tripping him behind my back. I can't possibly replay a 3 hour conversation (yes it was that long ugh!), but I will try and hit the hight points. She basiclaly said that they (his side of the family) has been "left out" and that it's my fault for shutting them out and not coming around. I told her not to be confused why I don't want to be around them after everything they have done it should be no surprise. She went on and on about how weddings should be a "family affair" and how could we do this knowing they couldn't make it. I didn't let her get away with any of it. She just started to cry,which obviously is her weapon of choice with her kids when she doesn't have a valid point, fortunately after all the pain they have caused us her tears didn't mean a thing to me. That might sound harsh, but I just saw it as attempted further manipualtion. She then told me that she was glad that the rest of the family wasn't there because they would be so upset that I was "doing this to her". I shut that down too. I said, "nobody is doing anything to you,you are being selfish and dramatic". I then told her that as much as I never wanted to be a "Bridezilla" she has forced me to be blunt... I AM THE BRIDE, IT IS MY DAY, AND NOOOO YOUR OPINION ULTIMATELY DOES NOT MATTER!!! She just started to cry again. I told her that I love her son, he loves me, and our day is no longer up for discussion. They can either get on board or get out of the way. She just cried and said that this is her son and she wants it to be a certain way. My favorite line of the night came next...I said "look at your son's face... look at what you are doing to him... he is MY HUSBAND... I know you wouldn't let anyone come into YOUR home and mess with YOUR family, so hear me now... Don't MESS with MY HUSBAND,don't MESS with MY MARRIAGE, quit messing with my family, and quit messing with me. I then told her that "I run this hen house now so BACK OFF!!!" I honestly don't even know where that came from,but damn it felt good. She just froze. She had nothing. She just said, well I guess that will be true when you get married... and I said, NO that was true the day he put a ring on my finger, the rest is just a technicality. Your reign is over. Sorry. Oh my Jesus could you hear the crickets. In any event, after not letting her get away with any of her antics she once again started to cry, pulled me to the side and said that she loves me, I will always be part of the family, and that she is sorry. She admitted to guilting the rest of the family to the point that they were terrified to attend our wedding and that everything was her fault. With that his father came home. Oh God. He gets psychotic when he is stood up to so I thought... ok here comes the rest of the disaster. To my unbelieveable pleasant surprise, his mother opened with... "We need to start being more enthusiastic about their wedding and I now believe that the animosity in the family is because of me and my own guilt". Holy S***t!!! Did I just hear that right??? After 9 months of torture did I seriously just hear that??? She then asked me to email her additional trip info so that they may try again to come. Don't get me wrong, quite frankly after all they have put us through I was getting quite fond of the idea of them staying the hell home, but I am happy for him. I could tell for the first time he felt accepted by them. Pretty sad that that is what it took, but still I was happy for his sake. When we left he said, "thank you for doing that, I finally feel like I am able to get excited". A bittersweet triumph, but it felt so good. I DID IT!!!