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Dad and step-dad in father daughter dance


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#1 David and Laura

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    Posted 06 September 2007 - 05:03 PM

    I am trying to think of a way to include my dad and my step-dad in the father daughter dance. I am having them both walk me down the aisle, but can't think of a way to include both of them in the dance. I'd rather not dance to two songs back to back. I thought about having one of them "cut in" half way through, and then my (by that time) husband can cut in and we can transition to our first dance. My dad was there for me until I was about 14 and my parents divorced, and my step-dad has been there since I was about 15 (he's the one paying for the wedding) so it would seem like a natural progression to have my dad dance with me, then step dad, then send off to my husband. I just don't know if the "cutting in" of my step dad to my dad seems rude.

    Another thought would be to give the first dance to my dad, and have my step-dad do the "father of the bride" speach b/c he's a great speaker, and is essentially hosting the wedding.

    What do you think? Any other suggestions?

    Thanks!

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    #2 TracyK

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      Posted 06 September 2007 - 05:10 PM

      That is a tough one. I would probably do your idea of father first then step-dad then husband. I think as long as you tell your dad before hand that your stepdad will be cutting in, it won't be rude. I would also go with the stepdad to do the speech for the reasons you stated.

      #3 mexico2007

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        Posted 06 September 2007 - 05:17 PM

        Oh my God welcome to my nightmare! I am in the same situation. My father (biological father) and I have just recently in the past few years have become closer. My stepfather has been in my life since I was about 4 years old. I have always concidered my step fater to be my real father.
        I had always dreamed of having both fathers walk me down the aisle and split the father daughter dance in half-each father having their turn. Also both fathers would be giving a speech.
        Up until a few weeks ago that was all fine-until my stepfather flat out told me he was upset about me having both of them walk me down the aisle. To make matters worse my stepmother went off on me crying saying that my father better be walking me down the aisle-also being on the left hand side of me. Also that he better be the first to dance with me for the father/daughter dance. Nightmare!! How do you chose?? You dont want to hurt anyones feelings or make anyone think that you're chosing one over the other.
        I completly understand what you're going through.

        #4 Rachelle E.

        Rachelle E.
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          Posted 06 September 2007 - 05:20 PM

          I agree...although it would have to be a pretty long song otherwise it's going to look more like a do-si-do than a proper dance! :-) Serisouly though...I think it's a really good idea. And I DO think you'll want to look for a longer song..or at least a longer arrangement of the one you like. I would say something at least 5, maybe even close 6 mins long if at all possible. Then you'll have to make sure the guys all know what part of the song they're supposed to cut in on. Hmmmm...that's sounding tricky now. Maybe a medly of two songs isn't a bad idea? See if you can find a medly arrangment of songs you like, or see if you dj can sort of blend them together for you...might make it easier for the dad's to know when to switch.

          whew!!

          Also, I 100% agree with having step-dad do the formal/traditional toast. Since he's basically hosting it, it seems fair. Then it can be up to you and your bio-dad if he wants to do an impromptu toast to you guys or whatever.

          #5 mexico2007

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            Posted 06 September 2007 - 05:32 PM

            Do you think your father would be upset that your step-father would be cutting in?? If not then I don't see there being a problem. Just first let everyone know what you have planned. Don't let them be surprised. As for the walking down the aisle with the two of them-that's what I chose. But another idea is to have one walk partially down the aisle and have the other meet you half way. You can also walk yourself down the aisle or have your mother walk you down. Its up to you.

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            #6 David and Laura

            David and Laura
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              Posted 06 September 2007 - 05:45 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by mexico2007
              Oh my God welcome to my nightmare! I am in the same situation. My father (biological father) and I have just recently in the past few years have become closer. My stepfather has been in my life since I was about 4 years old. I have always concidered my step fater to be my real father.
              I had always dreamed of having both fathers walk me down the aisle and split the father daughter dance in half-each father having their turn. Also both fathers would be giving a speech.
              Up until a few weeks ago that was all fine-until my stepfather flat out told me he was upset about me having both of them walk me down the aisle. To make matters worse my stepmother went off on me crying saying that my father better be walking me down the aisle-also being on the left hand side of me. Also that he better be the first to dance with me for the father/daughter dance. Nightmare!! How do you chose?? You dont want to hurt anyones feelings or make anyone think that you're chosing one over the other.
              I completly understand what you're going through.
              Oh no, what a mess! That's terrible that you are being forced to choose. Just remember, it's your wedding, and your day. You didn't make the choice for your parents to divorce, they did, and that's why you're in this situation. Having both of them walk you down the aisle makes the most sense to me. You can't get any more fair than that. The only thing that sounds unfair is the way they are treating you. :)

              #7 BrittneyD

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                Posted 06 September 2007 - 06:19 PM

                I can totally relate to this. My dad is not around. My adopted dad and I had a rocky relationship for many years. My mom's boyfriend as been the only true father figure in my life. (They have been together for 13 years.) I really wanted my mom's bf to give me away, but my adopted dad and I have gotten closer this year. I don't want to ruin the relationship by telling him I don't want him to give me away. So I am going to have both of them do it, but I have not gotten the guts to tell my adopted dad yet. I grew up terrified if him, so that is where the anxiety comes from. My adopted dad will get the father-daughter dance, b/c mom's bf hates to dance, so that may make it better. I just don't know when I'll get the guts to tell him.
                Brittney & Peter
                July 12, 2008
                Riu Ocho Rios

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