So I'm discouraged and a little frustrated, I figure this is the best place to go.
For our cruise wedding next year, we talked to everyone in our wedding party first to see if people actually had the financial means to go, because we couldn't cover anyone's trip really, we are going to help his Mom pay for hers but that's like his only family member going and she's on pension, etc.
So, the best man was one of our "iffy" people and my FI really wanted him to be able to go. We outlined the price for them and they took the cheapest possible option, an inside cabin on the ship. Then the best man's fiancee wanted her sister to go along too, so there will be three of them sharing a room, which makes it even cheaper for them when they split the cost like that. They were pretty excited about going and got their deposit together before the deadline, etc.
At first everyone was talking about how they were going to be putting money away for the trip and the best man and his fiancee were going to quit smoking and put that money they were going to save away, etc.
Now he's got a day surgery coming up and is going to have to be off work for a number of weeks. We are familiar with the surgery because my fiancee had it done in January and was off for six weeks. Apparently his is more servere and he will have to be off for longer, so he's going to go on unemployment. Now, I know this sounds perfectly acceptable and you guys are probably thinking I'm a horrible person for thinking this, but this guy LOVES going on unemployment. For all the years we've known him he only works long enough to be able to have enough hours to go on unemployment. And he's told my FI that if he is on unemployment, they probably won't be able to afford going on the cruise.
Then we see his fiancee's facebook updates about this new thing they are into and buying all of these supplies and ordering stuff online, we see them going out to eat and stuff like that then they tell us there's no way they have any extra money to be able to go... this is frustrating.
He had always planned for these three guys to be standing for him in his wedding - Let's call them 1, 2 and 3. 1 is his best man, who is now basically saying he's dropping out after paying his deposit. 2 is a guy he was pretty close to but he moved away and never bothered getting in touch like he said he would.. plus his ex gf got it into her head that FI was saying stuff about her.. drama.. and 3 was this one who contacted me with a totally made up story about my FI bringing other women with him when he goes to visit, etc. and I just sent the msgs on to my FI who confronted him about it, and his retaliation was "you never visit me anymore" and he was all pissy about that - after him having moved way into the sticks and he knows my FI works almost everyday.. ugh. Basically, he's lost 2 friends in the last year or so that he THOUGHT were his friends.. and now this last guy who isn't 100% close with him but he wanted him to be his best man... is all wishy washy.. and I know he's really upset and he's basically saying well I don't have very many friends left, what am I going to do...
I know this happens to almost everyone when they're planning a DW - there's already more bridesmaids then there are groomsmen, and now if the Best man drops out I'm not sure what it's going to do...