Bridal Shower, To have or to let lapse???

[vbbbtk]

We are planning a destination wedding and I have been asked on multiple occations if I want a bridal shower... I personally do not want people to feel obligated to bring me any gifts especially if they plan to attend the wedding.  At the same time I know a few of our older relatives would probley enjoy to have one considering that many of them will not be able to make it to the wedding.  Any ideas ladies?

[J and G 2012]

My mom is planning a shower. She didn't ask me if I wanted one, which I don't. But it is tradition and you are right, relatives/friends that are not coming to the DW may want to opportunity to give you a gift, words of wisdom, or just celebrate.

 

This is the same for our Jack and Jill. Some ppl think that we should have one because we are going away, but lets face it, going away does not always mean saving money. We are still going to have the 200+ ppl at our AHR, which is a huge expense. I told me family and friends that I am not planning a jack and jill, but apparently they are anyways.

[vbbbtk]

Thanks for the information.  I am going to have to weigh this one for a bit and see what my relatives want say, i guess thats the least I could do considering I am choosing to go away

 

Originally Posted by J and G 2012 

My mom is planning a shower. She didn't ask me if I wanted one, which I don't. But it is tradition and you are right, relatives/friends that are not coming to the DW may want to opportunity to give you a gift, words of wisdom, or just celebrate.

 

This is the same for our Jack and Jill. Some ppl think that we should have one because we are going away, but lets face it, going away does not always mean saving money. We are still going to have the 200+ ppl at our AHR, which is a huge expense. I told me family and friends that I am not planning a jack and jill, but apparently they are anyways.

 

[JayKay]

I didn't want to have a shower but regardless of what I said my mom said she is going to have one.  It is a way to include those people who won't be able to attend your DW.  After thinking about it for awhile I'm okay with having one, I just don't want people to feel obligated to bring gifts.

[futuremrstgun]

this is funny because i had to have a similar conversation on this very topic just yesterday...to shower or not to shower or to have a 'hen party or not'?...oh what choices?  frankly, i don't want a shower or a hen party or a bachelorrette party..since i now live in TX with most of my family and friends being on the east coast..i'd have to travel for the shower which frankly, i'm just not up for right now..needless to say, i think i'm going to end up going home in a few months for a shower AND to visit my home hair dresser for some TLC...i feel as if the shower is more for my friends and family because i could really go without all of the fuss...  happy planning, all!  R~

[Pucca]

I guess if people (especially relatives) insist on throwing you one because they really want to do it you should oblige. Fortunately my family isn't privy to that western tradition of bridal shower so they're not going to insist on one; and I don't believe my future mother-in-law will do that either. My friends though asked me if I wanted one and I said no. I'd rather just hang out and have a bit of girl time with my friends. And most of my friends live spread out across the country so traveling is involved in any showers that might take place so it would be a heck of a thing to coordinate let alone have them feel obligated to do in addition to coming to the wedding. So we just decided that we'd try to have a bit of girl-time a few days before the wedding since people will be coming in earlier, and the guys can have some guy-time. Otherwise, my close friends and I will maybe just have a girls' weekend a few weeks before the wedding in some central location if we can work that out, since we try to hang out every so often anyway.

[tdavis]

I personally think you only get married once. (At least that is the way it's supposed to be). So enjoy the attention of friends and family and oh even gifts. Think about all the baby showers, birthdays, weddings, etc that you have bought your friends gifts for. Now I know it's not about the gifts. But you should definitely enjoy the parties with friend and family. Live it up and enjoy the attention while it lasts. You can never get this time back!

[MDLady]

I didn't really want one and insisted on no presents but my family and friends talked me into having a bridal shower and I'm glad that I did.  Hopefully we all will get married just once and this is a good excuse to get together and have a celebration.  I did mention that the gifts were optional but some of the people who attended were not flying for the wedding so they brought gifts and were happy to participate in the wedding activity, especially since they couldn't make the wedding.

[vbbbtk]

Great information ladies... so far my family is not really pushing the issue but I guess the best way is to see how it goes

[heavenone]

My FMIL wants to throw me one so i'm going to oblige. I'm marrying her only child so this is will be her only opportunity to do this. She has friends and older relatives that won't be able to make the wedding. So a shower it is! She keeps telling me that I'll get lots of gifts (i live in NYC - small apartments, i don't need STUFF!).  I'm not originally from here so with the exception of local friends, all my relatives and best friends aren't here. I plan to invite a some but stress that they shouldn't feel obligated to attend. But if some of my girls do make it in to town i'm considering making it a bachelorette weekend too! It's a win/win!