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engagement party gift etiquette

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#1 popo28

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    Posted 27 April 2011 - 06:39 AM

    Hi Girls,so the other day we all received an engagement party invite for this girl I work with. Her wedding is 4 months away and she is still having a shower and batchelorette and stag. Now the invitation had registry info in it. Personally I felt this to be very rude. Your engagement party is to announce your engagement and not for gifts I thought and when I googles proper etiquette it always says "never, ever put registry info in the invitation" Some people put their registry in wedding invite and although its not in my tatse I can understand this for a wedding or shower. But engagement party??? I fell like this girl is trying to make money.



    #2 Valentine_Baby

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      Posted 27 April 2011 - 06:47 AM

      I would have to agree.  Engagement parties to me aren't really necessary especially if you are having all the other events.  I think if anything it is just a social gathering to congratulate the future bride and groom.  For them to have put a registry on the invite is not very considerate.  They shouldn't expect anything from anyone.  Bridal shower yes put it on the invite.  I think if you want to bring a gift leave it up to the individual, don't stick a registry card in the invite and expect something at every wedding social gathering.

      #3 JayKay

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      • Wedding Date:January 13, 2012
      • Wedding Location:Gran Bahia Principe Runaway Bay Jamaica
      • LocationSouthern Alberta

      Posted 29 April 2011 - 05:41 PM

      I agree.  We haven't put our registry info on anything, we have just spread it by word of mouth if people ask.  And also we never did an engagment party, instead we did an engagement supper with just immediate family. 

      #4 ellenj01

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        Posted 08 May 2011 - 12:58 PM

        I've always thought no gifts at engagement parties...but I know there are different rules of etiquette in different places.

        #5 royalbride610

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          Posted 08 May 2011 - 01:32 PM

          We had an engagement dinner with our close family, and sent out invites but we didn't even think about doing a registry for it... The purpose was for our families to get to know each other.  That is definitely rude and seems they're just trying to get more gifts, or maybe they didn't know any better...

          #6 BusyBee123

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            Posted 08 May 2011 - 04:04 PM

            My understanding was also that engagement parties were not intended for gifts! That's what showers are for! The problem is, you're in a tricky situation if everyone else brings a gift!  Maybe you can just pick and choose the events that you attend?

            #7 J-me

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              Posted 08 May 2011 - 04:46 PM

              I would hope it wasn't intentional, but I definitely think it's poor etiquette. For a shower, yes...but not an engagement party. We are doing a small registry and only putting it on our website - since it's DW, we're doing limited events & their presence is gift enough! I agree with BusyBee123, since it's a coworker & they're having several events, I'd just pick & choose the ones that you attend!

              #8 mochamakes3

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                Posted 12 May 2011 - 09:24 AM

                It is horrible etiquette to include registry information for an engagement party. The proper etiquette is to not bring a gift. It is very rude and I think it looks like a gift grab, especially if she is only four months away from her wedding and still holding 3 more events. People are going to be broke if they attend all five events (engagement, bachelorette, stag & doe, shower and wedding.) I wouldn't feel bad at all attending and not bringing a gift. Maybe you could get a group of coworkers to sign a card and a book on wedding etiquette? Just kidding, don't make it worse. Just bring a card with kind thoughts. 


                #9 DramaticAnnie

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                • 281 posts

                  Posted 14 May 2011 - 09:34 PM

                  I agree. That's embarassing, having registry information for your engagement party. I never ever thought an engagement party to be something people bring gifts to, just more of a casual celebration kind of thing. Gifts at the shower, yes... I wouldnt even register for shower gifts but that's just me... people around here never register.. if I did it 95% of my guests wouldn't know what to do with it and just bring their own gift lol

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