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I'm sure I'm overreacting, but....


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#1 StThomas2011

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    Posted 26 April 2011 - 08:31 PM

    Little back story to help you understand....and it's long, so I'm sorry...

     

    My husband and his friend had made a pact about tell each other when they were going to propose so no one suffered the wrath of angry GF.  My husband made sure to tell his friends that he was planning on proposing to me while on vacation in St. Thomas and was picking up the ring in a few weeks.  His one friend said NOTHING to him.  Then a week later, they are driving home from work and his friend says "I'm proposing tonight, I just got the ring this week and decided to do it."  Husband is quite thrown off by this, but doesn't make a big deal about it.  

     

    That couple had been dating for about 2.5 years less than me and my husband had, but I knew we were gonna get engaged eventually.  But when I found out and had to go and celebrate their engagement, I was having an emotional day and got super pissed!!!!  I got over it a few days later and then in a week or so we were going off on our vacation to St. Thomas and I couldn't wait :)

     

    To make a long story short, he proposed to me in St. Thomas and we decided to get married almost exactly a year later down there.  I thought it was very romantic and symbolic.

     

    Well his friend's fiance got REALLY cold towards me once she found out that we were getting married before her.  Mind you, it took them forever to pick a date...probably 2 months longer than us.  I didn't do it out of spite or anything....it was just a date/time of year that was important to us.  Throughout the entire year we were both planning a wedding, she would barely discuss anything about hers.  It was like she was keeping it secret as if I would steal her ideas.  Ummm...I'm getting married in paradise, and you are getting married in a city...not the same at all!

     

    As you can probably guess, they were invited, but didn't attend our DW because they ended up planning theirs exactly a month after ours.  I'm not mad about that at all, because I can totally understand the stresses of being a bride.  The thing that I'm most irritated with and so is my husband is the fact that the weekend before their wedding at our AHR they brought us a REGIFT.  And you know how we know it's a regift?  It's not available anywhere and we even called the company and it was discontinued about a year ago.  

     

    Now you all might be saying "it's the thought that counts," which is totally true, but honestly?  As a bride who is getting married a week later, you should know better.  Needless to say, we didn't give them our typical cash gift and it wasn't something they registered for.  

     

    I know it's petty of us, but I just can't believe they would do that.  My husband and I were talking and we had said that we wouldn't have even thought anything of it if they had just showed up empty handed...

     

    Yeah, the gift is on Craigslist and I'm trying to sell it!  Ha!



    #2 acireta

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      Posted 27 April 2011 - 06:25 AM

      First of all, I've seen your wedding on Janelle's blog and here on BDW, and wow! It was a beautiful wedding!

       

      The whole situation sucks, and I'm sorry you guys have to deal with this. Maybe they bought your gift super early, before it was discontinued? I'm an eternal optimist. Can I ask what it was? LOL

       


      Erica & Al - April 3, 2012 - St. Thomas, USVI

      Planning Thread

      Wedding & AHR Pics


      #3 angel366

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        Posted 27 April 2011 - 06:28 AM

        thats a bummer and would certainly hurt me as well. but can i ask how you came to found out it was discontinued? did you go to the trouble to seek out to find out if this item was a regift?



        #4 StThomas2011

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          Posted 27 April 2011 - 06:46 AM

          Angel,

          Actually my husband looked it up and figured it out.  It was a set of wine glasses and though they were nice we live in a small condo in the city and just don't have the room (we have a ton of wine glasses).  So we were trying to find out how we could exchange them for something we could use.  And that's how it happened.
           

          Originally Posted by angel366 

          thats a bummer and would certainly hurt me as well. but can i ask how you came to found out it was discontinued? did you go to the trouble to seek out to find out if this item was a regift?



           



          #5 StThomas2011

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            Posted 27 April 2011 - 06:48 AM

            Thanks!  It was so much!  We had a great time.

             

            I'd like to think that as well, but just from how she's been acting, it wouldn't surprise me if she got them at her shower and decided she didn't want them.

             

            But maybe you are right....I'll try to look on the bright side.

             

            Originally Posted by acireta 

            First of all, I've seen your wedding on Janelle's blog and here on BDW, and wow! It was a beautiful wedding!

             

            The whole situation sucks, and I'm sorry you guys have to deal with this. Maybe they bought your gift super early, before it was discontinued? I'm an eternal optimist. Can I ask what it was? LOL

             



             



            #6 bmadzia1

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              Posted 27 April 2011 - 07:07 AM

              I don't think you're over reacting.  I would of been pissed with the one month after us. I'm sort of in a similar place, but with my BEST FRIEND!  She's waiting to get engaged, and keeps saying the wedding is this month, then this month etc etc etc. Well that kind of puts me in a dumper mood because I simply will not have the money to organize things for her because of my wedding. She's not getting it. If she plans her wedding a couple of months after mine - she'll have me at her side for everything to do with her wedding. ....



              #7 angel366

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                Posted 27 April 2011 - 11:41 AM

                omg that is crazy!!! hopefully you will be able to get some cash for them from craigslist!!! that would absolutely make me look sideways at them.



                #8 mexicobride422

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                  Posted 29 May 2011 - 02:36 PM

                  I don't think you are overreacting at all!

                   

                  I would have been so pissed.. It is the thought that counts, but still.. The fact is they didn't put any thought into it.. Rather their lack of thought showed that you weren't worth getting a present for.. I hope you get enough money from the gift to go our to a nice dinner with your hubby!



                  #9 lovepea

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                    Posted 03 June 2011 - 09:01 AM

                    Things like this just show you who you can cross off your real friends list.

                     

                     



                    #10 jenniferkuhr

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                      Posted 12 June 2011 - 12:24 PM

                      Looks like there's been some time for the dust to settle on this, let by gones be bygones.  A lot of this could just be a ton of miscommunication and misunderstanding.  Our own perceptions are never reality.  In today;s economy, regifting makes sense.  It's better for the environment and at least shows some thought...as opposed to no gift and no thought.






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