Is it tacky??

[kimberyly]

I'm planning an AHR too! I'm happy to read this because I was thinking it might be weird to wear my DW dress to the AHR. Everyone I ask says they think it's great I get to wear the dress twice! They're not cheap There are many members of my family that can't make it to Jamaica for the wedding, so they're happy they still get to celebrate with us and the rest of the family.

[deannamarie85]

I am having an AHR and I am wearing that dang dress again! lol

[JBean]

I agree. I'm having a reception at home for everyone who couldn't come to the wedding. I wasn't going to wear my dress but everyone said "we want to see it!" so I am going to. I think it's nice for them.
 

Originally Posted by Lasallebabe 

I think it is a marvelous idea to wear your dress and have the wedding party do the same! Forthose unable to attend your DW, i"m sure they will love to see you in your dress in oerson ---not via pictures! Bottom line ----your day, do what you want!
 

 

 

[heidilynn28]

Well! Glad to know I'm not the only one in this situation. We are having an AHR one week after we come back from Mexico. It's going to be in a private room at our favourite restaurant. We're bringing our lanters for decorations, I'm wearing my darn dress again and we'll put up a movie or slideshow of the wedding day for our guests to watch before we eat.

 

We have decided to offer guests a cocktail and mini appetizers as a nice gesture and thank you for coming, but everyone will pay their own meal. I do not have the budget to buy 30-some more favors for everyone... not because I don't want to, but I am giving my wedding guests lots of goodies since they spent so much money to come to our wedding. I think just having the AHR is good enough for those who couldn't make it because we weren't going to have anything at all!

 

Is that ok?

[Avelyad]

I think it's a great opportunity to share with the guests who couldn't make it! Of course they want to see your dress in person!

[Aphrodite]

That's another thing I was thinking of too that heidilynn28 mentioned...

 

Does everyone end up buying favours for their guests for their AHR too?

I'm not sure how it is for everyone else - we are Italian.  Our family members will end up bringing cash gifts.  We are having our reception at a hall where they will be served a plated dinner.

What do you think the protocol is for that?

 

My father is actually paying for the reception as a gift to us and because he wanted it for our family - any money I get will be going back to him because I just feel it's the right thing to do since he paid for it and it makes me feel bad lol.

 

Any suggestions?

Are people doing favours or no?

[acireta]

In all honestly, I don't think its appropriate to invite people to a party and ask them to pay for their dinner, but I don't think favors are required either. I think you should frame it as a cocktail/appetizer reception, and just leave off mention of dinner, since dinner isn't included. Just my two cents! Good luck with planning!
 

Originally Posted by heidilynn28 

Well! Glad to know I'm not the only one in this situation. We are having an AHR one week after we come back from Mexico. It's going to be in a private room at our favourite restaurant. We're bringing our lanters for decorations, I'm wearing my darn dress again and we'll put up a movie or slideshow of the wedding day for our guests to watch before we eat.

 

We have decided to offer guests a cocktail and mini appetizers as a nice gesture and thank you for coming, but everyone will pay their own meal. I do not have the budget to buy 30-some more favors for everyone... not because I don't want to, but I am giving my wedding guests lots of goodies since they spent so much money to come to our wedding. I think just having the AHR is good enough for those who couldn't make it because we weren't going to have anything at all!

 

Is that ok?

 

[StThomas2011]

We got married on St. Thomas, USVI on 2.25.11 with 43 of our closest friends and only our immediate families.  We didn't even invite any other family.  So obviously, we felt we had to do something at home to celebrate with everyone.  However, I'm from Cleveland, Ohio, he's from Upstate New York and we both live in Chicago, IL....so we decided that we would just have 3 AHRs to cover all of our bases!  The third and final one is coming up and I can't wait to be done!

 

Here were somethings that we struggled with as we planned the AHRs:

1.  Almost everyone asked if I was going to wear my dress again.  The answer to that question is no, for 2 reasons.  If I was having 1 at home reception, I would think about it...but 3 is just too many to wear a wedding dress over and over.  and 2, I did a TTD session in St. Thomas and though it wasn't trashed, I didn't really want to wear it again (I donated it instead).

2.  As with everything that comes with weddings, people will be offended by something and we decided with that having 3 AHRs looked like we were just trying to get $$$ and gifts from the people we didn't want at the St. Thomas wedding.  So we decided that on the invite we would call it a celebration and ask for no gifts.  We ended up getting a TON of gifts (and mind you we have one more to go), but it made us feel better that people knew they could just come and celebrate and have some fun with us and it wasn't about gifts.

3.  Favors?  We didnt' do favors because we weren't asking for gifts from anyone, so it really wasn't even a thought in our minds.  But we did pay for dinner and drinks (wine and beer for 3 hours) for everyone.

4.  Who to invite?  We just went all out and basically invited everyone.  I think we ended up inviting at least 400 ppl to the AHRs.  Totally ridiculous, but it was just easier to invite everyone than exclude people.

 

Keep in mind that this is your wedding and you should do what you want, can afford and makes you happy. 

 

I wouldnt have done these AHRs, but my husband insisted on them.  And honestly they havent been so bad, but I'm just ready to be done! 

[proti007]

Just thought I'd throw my two cents in:

 

We're getting married in three months, and our AHR is about a month after that. I also come from a big European family (I'm Greek and my FI is Ukrainian) and we've come upon many of the issues you have with regards to "etiquette." I've had to remind my mom over and over that the same wedding "etiquette" does NOT apply to DWs!!!

 

We've already had the big, Greek engagement party in Toronto (about 100 people), to celebrate with my family and friends there. We did serve a plated dinner, hire a dj, have our priest bless our rings in a special ceremony, give bombinierre (favours), have a seating chart, etc. It was, in essence, a mini-wedding, very formal, I wore a beautiful floor-length cocktail dress and my FI was in a three-piece suit.

 

Our AHR is taking place in Edmonton, where my FI and his family are from, and will have about 300 people, predominately his side, and our friends from Calgary. I will NOT be wearing my dress. thinking it was "tacky" never really crossed my mind, but rather that my wedding dress is special, only something I want to wear on my wedding day; so for me, it was more a feeling of it being "inappropriate." Our reception is not a "wedding," just like our engagement party wasn't. There will be a dinner at the AHR (buffet-style) and a band. I am doing favours for the AHR, but not as costly/fancy as those for our e-party (we gave crystal mosiac glass candleholders). Partly due to the fact that the e-party was way more per per guest, and partly because it was more formal. My AHR will be WAY more casual, and I'm making homemade jam that I'll be canning in pretty little mason jars - it just fits the theme better.

 

Ultimately, you have to do what you are comfortable with!!!! Anything goes

 

Natalie

[proti007]

Just thought I'd throw my two cents in:

 

We're getting married in three months, and our AHR is about a month after that. I also come from a big European family (I'm Greek and my FI is Ukrainian) and we've come upon many of the issues you have with regards to "etiquette." I've had to remind my mom over and over that the same wedding "etiquette" does NOT apply to DWs!!!

 

We've already had the big, Greek engagement party in Toronto (about 100 people), to celebrate with my family and friends there. We did serve a plated dinner, hire a dj, have our priest bless our rings in a special ceremony, give bombinierre (favours), have a seating chart, etc. It was, in essence, a mini-wedding, very formal, I wore a beautiful floor-length cocktail dress and my FI was in a three-piece suit.

 

Our AHR is taking place in Edmonton, where my FI and his family are from, and will have about 300 people, predominately his side, and our friends from Calgary. I will NOT be wearing my dress. thinking it was "tacky" never really crossed my mind, but rather that my wedding dress is special, only something I want to wear on my wedding day; so for me, it was more a feeling of it being "inappropriate." Our reception is not a "wedding," just like our engagement party wasn't. There will be a dinner at the AHR (buffet-style) and a band. I am doing favours for the AHR, but not as costly/fancy as those for our e-party (we gave crystal mosiac glass candleholders). Partly due to the fact that the e-party was way more per per guest, and partly because it was more formal. My AHR will be WAY more casual, and I'm making homemade jam that I'll be canning in pretty little mason jars - it just fits the theme better.

 

Ultimately, you have to do what you are comfortable with!!!! Anything goes

 

Natalie