My fiance and I have also not even sent out our STD's and already I would say 85% of my family has already insisted that they are not coming. I completely understand that the money may not be there-- however they haven't even asked when or how much.. It's like they aren't even trying to come.. I am the first one in my entire family to get married so you would think that more of an effort would be made..
My fiance and I were thinking about having an AHR, but we realized that if we did have one people would be even more less likely to come to our DW and think that the AHR was our *wedding celebration*. We decided that instead we just have a nice at home BBQ a few months following our DW-- hopefully we find a house with a yard:) LOL..
But to be honest, the only reason why I wanted to have one is because I felt bad for so much of my family not being able to come to our wedding; but now that I see how my family is behaving I am not sure I want to do anything at all.