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help! estranged father dilemma


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#1 popo28

popo28
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    Posted 22 March 2011 - 05:25 PM

    hi everyone,

    so heres my situation:

     

    My parents are divorsed and my father lives in another contry. I have seen him once, 4 yrs ago since I came to Canada when I was 11. We talk on the phone and have a good relationship but he has not come to visit me here. I feel very awkward having to invite him to our DW. He does not speak english, doesnt know anyone other than my mom and step dad (another awkward moment) and I would just feel guilty having not seen him in so long and not being able to spend time with him. At the same time i feel guilty not inviting him...i mean hes my dad. My step father raised me since I was 11 and will be paying for the wedding. I just feel it would create a very uncomfortable week having my dad there but alone and isolated with noone to talk to. I don't think he can even afford to come anyway but would be too proud to say so. I don't know what to do or say to him and how to approach this. I know where he comes from (europe) people just go to city hall to get married and it's not as huge of a production as it is in north America. I was thinking of maybe visiting him with my fiance and have a small party w his friends and family members on his side then maybe skype the wedding live. What do you think? Help!



    #2 jamieirene

    jamieirene
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    • 650 posts

      Posted 23 March 2011 - 04:10 PM

      Hi popo28! I have a remotely similar situation to yours. My father left my mother for my mothers best friend. And my fiance and I pretty much only talk to him when we have to and pretty much put on a show and do a lot of pretending around him. When I told him that his girl friend (my moms old best friend ) was not invited he pretty much said he was not attending in so many words. Then he tried to buy her invite to our wedding by offering us money. She is still not invited and to be honest I think its crazy that my father can't travel alone act like an adult for his daughters wedding. But whatever I don't care either way just so his girlfriend is no where nea my wedding or in Mexico for that matter. For your situation I do not know if I would skype it because sitting home not being there may upset him. I would suggest planning a visit and small get togeher with his friends and famiyl brim pictures and videos so they can relive the day with you! Hope this helps!!!!




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