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matty-g

Who Pays For The Welcome Dinner?

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My fiance and I are interested in having welcome dinner the night before our wedding. However, it is not in our budget to pay for our guests welcome dinner. How can we get out of this expense without looking like cheapos? Our guests have to understand that we are paying thousands and thousands of coins for our wedding without the help of any parents or relatives.

I was thinking of jusy causually saying that Matt and I are going out for dinner Saturday night, if you would like meet us. However, I believe if I say that then my guests might assume that I am picking up the bill for them.hijacked.gif

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Well, traditionally the groom's parents pay for the welcome/rehearsal dinner. I really don't think you can ask your guests to pay for it. You can casually say that you are going out for dinner, and "would you like to join us?", and I think I would get the hint - but I can't say you won't look like cheapos either to other people. :| Tough one! I think you might have to nix the welcome dinner idea all together, and if everyone decides to go out anyways, then so be it.

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Oh how we struggled with this. My parents thought it was ludicrous to pay for people to eat twice - at the wedding and at a WD...lol I looked into a place we could just do drinks and apps but it wasn't cheap either. We ended up paying for a full on dinner and it cost a lot but was so worth it in the end.

 

You could always say "Meet us at x for a no host dinner". I think most people would understand that means you won't be paying. Or say it would be nice if we could all meet somewhere for dinner, and just meet up. If someone said it casually to me like that I wouldn't think they were paying.

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Maybe you could do a welcome cocktail. It would be more affordable that paying for everyone's meal. I don't know if this is in your budget either, but I thought I would throw it out there.

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honestly, people are spending alot of $$ to attend your DW so to ask them to pay for to attend your welcome dinner will probably not be well received...sure no one will say it to your face but just my opinion.

 

if you cant afford a full on welcome dinner, what about something simpler...chips, guac and margaritas...that cant be too much.

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Where is your wedding? I presume its not at an all-inclusive?

 

We are not asking anyone to spend any extra money, but we are staying at an AI, so we are doing "Welcome Cocktail Receptions" -- which is an option for you as well. If you put together a timeline of activities ... you can list the "Welcome Cocktail Reception" as 'optional' and then people who come can buy their own drinks (or you can talk to the location about having a few signature drinks and apps available that you pay for).

 

I agree though, it's probably not a good idea to ask or expect anyone to pay for their own (dinnerwise, I think w/ drinks its okay). You'd probably still have a few who expected you to pay (I know we would have those guests!) and it could make for a sticky situation.

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Are you staying at an AI? If you are, why not just have dinner there together? I would say otherwise just skip a welcome dinner & do something different. I think it would be fun to get a cooler of drinks & meet at the beach at sunset.

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I think I'd encourage the cocktail hour type of thing personally though I guess that can be almost as much $$ as a dinner. The other option if you really want a welcome dinner and you have parents that are able to help out is to ask them to pick up the dinner or split it with you or something like that. May not be an option, but thought I'd throw it out there.

 

hijacked.gif

 

So I have a question about this as well. We are taking all our guests on a sail the day before the wedding and we're picking up their dinner that night.

 

I thought it might be nice to get people together before that to meet each other (the sail is on Friday, and most people will be on the hotel by Wednesday). So if I suggest that people meet at the hotel bar for a drink on Wednesday night should we pay for that as well? And if we then go to dinner afterwards?

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We are having a welcome thing on Thursday night at Cabo Surf. I told Armando I just wanted some apps. (like nachos, quesadillas etc.) and I think we are going to have beer only for two hours. He quoted me $14 a person for the food and $17 a person for beer. It's still like $35 pp with tax. That's alot! However, we are going to do it. Still up for debate who is going to pay for it. I will not let my parents spend over what they have budgeted for our wedding so it's either us or my inlaws. I noticed someone said etiquette says the grooms family usually hosts it. I wish I could find proof of this and show my FI! Anyone know where that's at?

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We are staying at AI and I might change my mind but as of now I think we might just put in our welcome letter for the OOT bags a designated spot/bar at the resort for everyone to meet up the first night. I might look into actually hosting something but I dont want my guests to feel like the whole vacation is about US, I want to make sure I give them enough space, so if I just casually say lets meet up rather than host and pay for something it might be received as a little less intrusive on their vacation.

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