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KTownKate

Uh oh....

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It was very hard for both sets of parents initially when we talked about a DW. There were arguments, tears, and hurt feelings from everyone. I kept my head high and once the shock wore off everything was fine.Don't ever forget this is YOUR day!

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i'm so sorry to hear all these horrible reactions! 

 

Our families weren't thrilled but they were still supportive.  My MIL was a little upset that all her friends from temple couldn't come but we made a compromise by promising to have an AHR when we got back from honeymoon.  We're planning a 3-hour reception with passed hor d'oeuvres and open bar.  Hopefully that won't cost an arm and a leg!

 

We're still over 8 months out so hopefully we won't have any of these horrible tales...  but who knows..

 

in the end, as long as my fiance is there, that's all that matters :)

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Thanks for all of the replies!

 

I just wanted to post to say that FI's parents were AMAZING! They are super excited for us and are really happy that we are doing what we want. Such a relief! :)

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That's SO awesome!!! yay! cheers.gif
 

Originally Posted by KTownKate View Post

Thanks for all of the replies!

 

I just wanted to post to say that FI's parents were AMAZING! They are super excited for us and are really happy that we are doing what we want. Such a relief! :)



 

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My family and friends were extremely excited when I told them. My family is spread out all over the country so we are used to traveling long distances to get together. We often take vacations together so my extended family just sees my wedding as the next big family vacation. My mom really enjoyed my BF's destination wedding in Jamaica and afterwards encouraged me to have one too. My FI's friends and family have been...special. For the most part, his friends have really stepped up and been supportive. His god family has been a nightmare. His parents are deceased so I really wanted his god family to be on board.

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I'm sorry to hear that your FI's god family has been difficult.  I can relate! But what I've had to remind myself and what I pass on to you is this is YOUR day - the one day you get to do whatever you want to do. Try and keep your head up and be positive and remember the reason you are going away - LOVE!
 

Originally Posted by winniethepiglet View Post

My family and friends were extremely excited when I told them. My family is spread out all over the country so we are used to traveling long distances to get together. We often take vacations together so my extended family just sees my wedding as the next big family vacation. My mom really enjoyed my BF's destination wedding in Jamaica and afterwards encouraged me to have one too. My FI's friends and family have been...special. For the most part, his friends have really stepped up and been supportive. His god family has been a nightmare. His parents are deceased so I really wanted his god family to be on board.



 

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The reality is that no matter how hard we try or no matter what we do we will never be able to please everyone. So even if you decided to get married at home the traditional way there would probably still be situations that would cause stress :( the bottom line (as hard as it may be) is to settle with the fact that it is YOUR day and you have to do what makes you and FI happy. My parents were neutral but not thrilled but then loved the idea of a vacation and Fi's parents just out right hated the idea LOL we still dont even know for sure if they are coming to the wedding or not :( pretty sad if you ask me but they will be the ones to regret missing their sons wedding later on down the road...i do hope they come around! Fi and I dreamed of getting married at Paradisus after we travelled there a few years ago and really couldnt imagine it any other way so we decided that even if we had to get married alone then so be it. Its about our love for each other and the memories of our special day that we will remember forever. :) it will all work out in the end :)

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I'm sorry to hear about some of the negative reactions.  My mother is a wedding decorator and I was a wedding coordinator at a golf course through university so when it came to planning my own wedding I didn't want to do the normal at home wedding.  My mom was actually really excited and I didn't want her to have to worry about decorating and everything which she would want to do if we were at home. His family loves to travel so they were also thrilled.  It's been a wonderful experience so far and we've received lots of support from both of our families and friends and even more people then we expected have decided to join us.

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I'm so glad your FI parents are excited about a DW.

 

For us, I had always told my parents I was going to go away and get married and they were absolutely thrilled with the idea.  My older brother was engaged and were planning their wedding in our hometown.  It was ridiculously expensive and about two months before the wedding my brothers FI decided she didn't want to marry my brother.  There was lots of money that was lost because of this.  Also, my FI older brother was married in Mexico so his parents were excited about the idea as well!

 

We had some family members who were not to happy we had decided on a DW.  I am the first grandchild on one side of my family to get married and I know most of that side of my family was disappointed as many of them won't be coming.  We didn't care though, we knew we wanted our immediate family and that's all that mattered to us, anyone else is extra!

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I talk to DW brides every day and each one has a story about some family member who got upset / can't afford it / won't attend, etc.

 

I am now convinced no matter where you get married somebody won't be happy. I think what makes a DW better is that once you are there everyone is happy! I did a DW myself and one of my brothers didn't attend, claiming he couldn't afford it. I felt bad for a year and only recently found out he bought a car and spent a week in Mexico only a few months after. I was very hurt and probably always will be but when I think about the amazing week he missed out on, I care a lot less!

 

I also had a many pleasant "no's". All those relatives I didn't want to invite somehow couldn't make it, so clearly they didn't want to be there either! Fine with me, nobody there to spoil it for us!

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