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Calling All StepMoms & SM2B's :)


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i toooooottttaaaallllly have baby fever. but i like the ones you can "give back" when you're done, like nieces & nephews. i like the fun parts but not the responsible parts.

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FI and I decided no more kids.  I love kids but I have never really had the desire to have kids myself.  With the kids being 11, 13 and 16, they will be in college before we know it and that leaves FI young enough to travel and do the fun things we want to do.

 

Whenever I get baby fever, I just go and visit a friend who has a young one and get my fill and leave happy knowing that I am able to leave it all there ;)

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I've gotta share a little piece of last night with you ladies.

 

Lately I've kind of been more on the, "I'm okay if I don't have children" bus, but last night FI and I were talking about how my birth control is really messing with my body and how I go to the doctors on Monday to either figure it out...okay just completely come off the BC and let my body get back to normal.  FI was like, I don't think your body will get normal, I think you'll have the same kind of problems.  I told him that if I did, I would just go in and have my uterus ripped out (yes, that's exactly how I said it).  He was like... oh, well... that's not good.  If you do that, we won't be able to have anymore babies.... 

 

And that's pretty much where I left it....

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Originally Posted by Ellabaja1983 View Post

 

I've gotta share a little piece of last night with you ladies.

 

Lately I've kind of been more on the, "I'm okay if I don't have children" bus, but last night FI and I were talking about how my birth control is really messing with my body and how I go to the doctors on Monday to either figure it out...okay just completely come off the BC and let my body get back to normal.  FI was like, I don't think your body will get normal, I think you'll have the same kind of problems.  I told him that if I did, I would just go in and have my uterus ripped out (yes, that's exactly how I said it).  He was like... oh, well... that's not good.  If you do that, we won't be able to have anymore babies.... 

 

And that's pretty much where I left it....

 

 

I totally understand the trying to let your body get on it's normal status, I've been on and off BC for years, mostly on.  Again I'm only gonna get some for 6 months to a year.  I 'll see what happens if I get pregnant fine if not fine but at 35 it's a wrap for me.  I've been a paramedic for almost 12 years and my knee and back bothers me at times.  I'm also not looking forward to any complications I may encounter from being over 35 and african american because we automatically become high risk with those 2 factors. 

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Originally Posted by big3n09 View Post

 

I totally understand the trying to let your body get on it's normal status, I've been on and off BC for years, mostly on.  Again I'm only gonna get some for 6 months to a year.  I 'll see what happens if I get pregnant fine if not fine but at 35 it's a wrap for me.  I've been a paramedic for almost 12 years and my knee and back bothers me at times.  I'm also not looking forward to any complications I may encounter from being over 35 and african american because we automatically become high risk with those 2 factors. 

 

 I hear you.  At this point I don't have a cut off, but being 27, I hoping to have a few good years before I decide to for go it altogether...  I guess we'll just see what happens!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hey ladies, just checking in! How are things in the step-parenting land? We've been having a rough couple of weeks with one of the kids. Nothing that can't be fixed but just added stress. Hope you girls are doing well and enjoying wedding planning! Posted from my iPhone 4 using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by Ellabaja1983 View Post

 

Things are going well for me, for the most part.  I don't know if I'm dealing with things better, or if things are just getting better.  Either way it's nice since the wedding is coming up so quickly!!!

 

 

That's good to hear either way I feel the same....I'm within 30 days pinkie.gif

We have had a few run in's but they were addressed and right now I can't complain and can't wait till the big day!!! 

Abbie-thanks for checking on us!

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

How is everyone doing out there??  It's been pretty quiet!

 

 

Things are going pretty well on my end.  I had a little tiff with FI last Friday and the kids kind of were pulled into it (not them personally, just doing things for them).  FI got mad at me because I was complaining that I don't get any help around the house (he's been out of work Since the middle of February), and that it would just be nice to come home from a 9-10 hour day and not have chores to do.  He said that we always have the boys when they are there, and I said no, they should be responsible for cleaning the house when they aren't always at the house.  As it progressed, he said that he wished I would just stop doing things for all of them, so he didn't have to hear me complain about doing it all.  So...that's what he has gotten ever since.  I don't wash or fold their laundry, I don't take care of stuff that isn't mine anymore, I don't take stuff out for dinner if I'm not going to be home until late...  because, that's what he wanted, right?!  Well, I got a call this afternoon from him asking why I didn't take anything out for dinner?  I said, I'm not going to be home until late, so I'm just going to eat leftovers.  He said, ya, but the boys and I will be here.  I said, good, then you'll be able to feed yourselves too!! 

 

I think after a few short days, he's starting to realize that...  it was nice having me do stuff, and he's already starting to miss it!

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Ellabaja1983 I feel you...When me and FI met 6 years ago and I met the kids and seen how things went with them, me being me I wanted to fix this and do that and all in all now I feel like it wasn't necessary.  So me and FI took a year break and we are back and getting married next week my interaction with the kids since being back has been different this time.  I told myself and him and will tell anybody else I'm not about to stress myself out.  I love him and the kids but bottom line I'm not their mother and it's things that I would have liked, would like, and will want but I understand and accept that I'm not their mother so certain things just won't be period.  My new perspective is these 3 rules...1. we will respect each other 2. If FI/kids want something and he/they ask and I can do it I will 3. I will make sure when I'm around they are feed and safe.  I think I stressed myself out last time with some things that pertained to them and I'm not gonna do it again.  I think whatever works for people that's what they should do.  My mother is acting ugly right now at this happy time in my life but it made me think to myself maybe that's why step-mother's, God mothers, and other mother figures come in handy.  I hope things get better and maybe with some time they will...stay strong. 

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