welcome to the stressed out wedding planning club! I'm planning on getting married in Aruba in August, and decided to go with a resort that is not all inclusive. I had it narrowed down to the Westin, which I love, love, love, and the Divi Aruba Phoenix, which had a fantastic dinner menu. I totally understand how you can get overwhelmed with all of the information...take advantage of your maid of honor and your bridal party, and red wine also works!
Good luck with everything, and hang in there. I will gladly share what info I have if you like..