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People inviting others?? WTF?!


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#1 TLGnhci

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    Posted 24 January 2011 - 05:21 AM

    Is anyone else having issues with people either inviting themselves, or guests inviting other people?  We've had two couples invite themselves.  Then, a friend of mine apparently doesn't think our crew will be fun-worth enough (or binge drinkers enough) so he is inviting people to go to Mexico (people I don't even like!)  I had my party days and while I still like to have an occasional drunken night, I am pretty much over that part.  Our group is mostly like that but the guys will definitely let loose and party it up.  The people this guy wants to invite are out all the time, and the one guy is a Bleephole.  Then, last night while at a friends house, I meet a couple for the first time, and one of our wedding guests is telling her that her and her husband should come.  I'm like really?  I know Mexico is a free place for people to go, but this is our wedding celebration, not just a vacation! 

     

    I'm really starting to feel like my wedding day is going to be overshadowed by a crazy drunken vacation for most.  It makes me very sad.  Every bride wants her day to be about her.  :(  I hope it still will be.  FI says the guests will be respectful that day, but ugh. 

     

    Sorry, just needed to vent.  Thanks for listening girls.  Sometimes this forum is the only place I feel anyone understands anything I'm going through. 



    #2 Brandy

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      Posted 24 January 2011 - 05:53 AM

      Tisha, Im really sorry to hear you are going through this, I think everything will still work out, your FI is right, I think people have enough since to realize its your day on your day, but Im sure the rest of the time it will be party central.

      I know exactly how you feel though, chris' stepmother if you wanna call her that I guess, shes been with his dad for about 3 years so he doesnt really call her that, but she decided she was going to invite her daughters ex-boyfriend! I dont know what these people think, the best you can do is just ignore it and know that your wedding day will be fabulous, and dont worry about other people, it seems like there will always be drama, theres always one ridiculous person out of the bunch when you take that many people on a trip.



      #3 clgriffi7

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        Posted 24 January 2011 - 06:28 AM

        I think all you can do is stand firm and let it be known that these uninvited guests will not have seat for the ceremony nor food at the reception.  So if these people would like to vacation at the same time at your resort, there is nothing you can do about it but you certainly don't have to invite them to the wedding day activities.  Hopefully if they find out they aren't welcome at the planned events, they will get the hint and not book the trip. 

         

        I will keep my fingers crossed for you that these people don't actually book!



        #4 TLGnhci

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          Posted 24 January 2011 - 06:38 AM

          Thanks girls.  I'm sure it will all turn out great.  It just gets frustrating at times. 



          #5 bmadzia1

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            Posted 24 January 2011 - 08:40 AM

            I agree with this post. We also had a similar situations, but not as with 'strangers'. Just people we did not care nor want to invite.  SO... I'm very blunt with some people (invited guests) and tell them as it is.. "I don't care if they come. The resort is huge, I'm sure they can find something to do when you are attending our wedding celebrations."  You got to love the looks on their faces.. "oh... I didn't know that they couldn't come"... well shit - did I invite them????

             

            Originally Posted by clgriffi7 

            I think all you can do is stand firm and let it be known that these uninvited guests will not have seat for the ceremony nor food at the reception.  So if these people would like to vacation at the same time at your resort, there is nothing you can do about it but you certainly don't have to invite them to the wedding day activities.  Hopefully if they find out they aren't welcome at the planned events, they will get the hint and not book the trip. 

             

            I will keep my fingers crossed for you that these people don't actually book!





            #6 Debs

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              Posted 24 January 2011 - 02:27 PM


              I agree with this 100%.  I found those "you should go!" people rarely booked anyway, so it'll likely be a moot point.
               

              Originally Posted by clgriffi7 

               So if these people would like to vacation at the same time at your resort, there is nothing you can do about it but you certainly don't have to invite them to the wedding day activities.   



              #7 82turtles

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                Posted 24 January 2011 - 02:47 PM

                Ugh, I know! It's like people just forget about being invited and figure since it's at a vacation spot that anyone can come! My FI's sister was talking about it at Christmas saying that she's asking two friends to come along... I was like Ummm... that's fine, but they won't be able to come to the wedding day events. It's VERY pricey per person over the number included in the package, and I'm not having some random people there when I'm specifically not inviting some *real* friends of ours due to the cost. She seemed to understand and said her friends can just hang on their own while she's at the weddding. So we'll see!



                #8 islandbride8

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                  Posted 25 January 2011 - 05:16 AM

                  Brace yourself, but some people think it's okay just to show up at a wedding...  Crazy, I know!  My fiance's cousin was getting married last year and out of no where he asked me if i wanted to go.  Now, we live together and i knew we didn't get an invitation!  I mentioned this and he replied, "yea, but it's family... everyone's invited!"   WHAT?!?!  I couldn't believe what i was hearing and after a lengthy discussion why that would be completely inappropriate, he still didn't understand the etiquite i was trying to explain (actually drill into his head!).  I still can't understand why anyone would think it's okay to invite others to a wedding, or just to show up uninvited, but apparently there are people who just don't get it!  Needless to say we did not attend his cousins wedding.  Hopefully someone will talk some sense into theses people!  If not, stand your ground and don't have a seat or food for them.  Good luck :)



                  #9 BeaBride

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                  Posted 04 March 2012 - 11:30 AM

                  I'm a newb at this, and although I know this is an old thread with old posts, I just had to write something in hopes that someone out there right now is dealing with something similar or has some thoughts to offer.  Yes...this is a vent.

                   

                  I (unfortunately) know what it's like to have someone invite people to your wedding that you don't know and don't care to invite....so ladies, I feel your pain!  My FH's father has invited extended family (some that my FH has met and some that he has not) .  I do not know these people nor have I met them.  I thought that we were clear about having a small, intimate wedding but I'm not sure if we weren't clear enough or if my FH's father is running his own agenda based on his cultural traditions.  To ensure that we were being clear about our wishes, we wrote my FH's parents an email diplomatically stating our wishes on our big day.  I guess I should also state that before we wrote them, we received an email from him stating that he invited extra people but he was not direct on how many, which is what started all this.

                   

                  So....I now have no clear idea of how many extra people that may be coming to the wedding (maybe 10-15?? but that's just a guess).  I'm upset because we already sent out our save-the-dates and will be sending out our real invites hopefully by the end of March to all the guests that we personally invited.  I don't feel that I should send extra invitations to those that I did not invite because of the almost certain fact that it will bring more guests than just those people whose names are on the invite (cultural thing).  It seems that when you invite a couple on an invitation, their adult children and husbands + kids are considered to be invited as well.  I was not raised that way and my FH and I agreed that we did not want a huge wedding, which was partially the reason why we decided on a destination wedding. We are paying for the wedding and also have limited space for our ceremony and reception areas.  Although my FH's father has stated that he would pay for the extra guests, we don't want to have to change our preferred locations because of people we didn't invite.  I'm also worried that we will end up footing the bill anyway and have to be prepared to do so. As it stands right now, we have about 60 people (before extras).

                   

                  Any thoughts??



                  #10 BeaBride

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                  Posted 04 March 2012 - 11:31 AM

                  I'm a newb at this, and although I know this is an old thread with old posts, I just had to write something in hopes that someone out there right now is dealing with something similar or has some thoughts to offer.  Yes...this is a vent.

                   

                  I (unfortunately) know what it's like to have someone invite people to your wedding that you don't know and don't care to invite....so ladies, I feel your pain!  My FH's father has invited extended family (some that my FH has met and some that he has not) .  I do not know these people nor have I met them.  I thought that we were clear about having a small, intimate wedding but I'm not sure if we weren't clear enough or if my FH's father is running his own agenda based on his cultural traditions.  To ensure that we were being clear about our wishes, we wrote my FH's parents an email diplomatically stating our wishes on our big day.  I guess I should also state that before we wrote them, we received an email from him stating that he invited extra people but he was not direct on how many, which is what started all this.

                   

                  So....I now have no clear idea of how many extra people that may be coming to the wedding (maybe 10-15?? but that's just a guess).  I'm upset because we already sent out our save-the-dates and will be sending out our real invites hopefully by the end of March to all the guests that we personally invited.  I don't feel that I should send extra invitations to those that I did not invite because of the almost certain fact that it will bring more guests than just those people whose names are on the invite (cultural thing).  It seems that when you invite a couple on an invitation, their adult children and husbands + kids are considered to be invited as well.  I was not raised that way and my FH and I agreed that we did not want a huge wedding, which was partially the reason why we decided on a destination wedding. We are paying for the wedding and also have limited space for our ceremony and reception areas.  Although my FH's father has stated that he would pay for the extra guests, we don't want to have to change our preferred locations because of people we didn't invite.  I'm also worried that we will end up footing the bill anyway and have to be prepared to do so. As it stands right now, we have about 60 people (before extras).

                   

                  Any thoughts??






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