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Prenuptial Agreement?


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#11 MDLady

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    Posted 12 January 2011 - 11:52 AM

    Tiffanya21 - It's understandable from his Dad's perspective that he wants to protect his business.  I wouldn't take it personally, it doesn't mean that he thinks that you are after the money or will screw him.  He is just being cautious which is smart.  So I wouldn't get upset about that at all.

     

    Your concern about income IF something goes wrong is very valid.  No judge will grant a divorce without support if the woman has been a stay-at-home Mom, but that support usually has a time limit on it (1-2 years to get your own income).  It's unromantic to think about things like that it's also much better to be prepared than looking back going "what was I thinking"..  Just read the prenup carefully to make sure that there is nothing unfair in it regarding support in case of a divorce.  Hopefully all of these "what ifs" will never actually happen.

     

    My husband and I didn't do a prenup since we have about equal income and assets.  His parents are well off but they live in a different country so the issue never came up.  Good luck!



    #12 skp1

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      Posted 12 January 2011 - 11:56 AM

      That's on our to-do list also.  I joke with my fiance that divorce is not an option - death is the only way out.  But we are going to do a prenup just in case.  I agree it's a business matter - nothing to take personally.  But it is important that each party has legal representation and that neither one just signs something that is one-sided.


      Steph & John........Atlantis.......June 18, 2011......happily married


      #13 LisaMatterni

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        Posted 13 January 2011 - 03:22 PM



        Originally Posted by autjo 

        This is such an important topic that no one really wants to talk about. Don't be offended by your FIL... he is doing it for business not as a personal attack. And I totally agree to definitely make sure that the pre-nup protects you and your interests if something bad were to happen. Good luck with it!



        I agree with this statement. 

         

        Although my parents pushed me to settle for pre-nup, I oppose them. Me and my husband are agreeing where not doing pre-nup since we're really love each other and we don't want to mixed up our marriage with business. 



        #14 Karen&Rene

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          Posted 13 January 2011 - 09:06 PM

          Pre-nups are such a touchy subject... I'm not going to lie, when my FI brought up the the topic of a pre-nup, my initial reaction was to get offended.  I understand the logic of why people want to get them, but I couldn't help but think things like, "why should we be getting married if you think there's even a chance that it won't work out?" or "does he think that I'm really the type of person that marries for money?"  Maybe I'm young and naive, but I think pre-nups take away from the romantic aspect of getting married.  But then again, I have no assets to protect and haven't been burned in the past so I don't know how it feels to be on the other side.  In the end, my FI told me that he didn't want a pre-nup, was just curious to see if I had ever thought about it at all because his coworkers kept asking him if he was getting one, so I got offended for nothing, lol.



          #15 LMango

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            Posted 14 January 2011 - 10:53 AM

            I own my own property, which is actually worth quite a bit....I love my fiancĀ© or I wouldn't be marrying him, but, I don't think you can deny the fact that divorce is a possibility. What if he cheated on me and I decided to divorce him, and he claimed that because he contributed to my mortgage payments, he deserves half my equity?? F**K that. I love him, but my financial health is independent from his, and I will not risk my future self on the hope that things will end happily ever after.



            #16 acireta

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              Posted 14 January 2011 - 12:52 PM

              we're definitely going to do one, but its to protect both of us. My FI got burned by his ex-wife (she basically stole the company he built and then bankrupted it so he's been building a new one), and I have a bit of property and assets that make my mom nervous LOL

               

              we're actually going to do it soon even though we have 15 months until the wedding, so it's far enough away from the wedding so it doesn't take away from the romance of our special day :-)


              Erica & Al - April 3, 2012 - St. Thomas, USVI

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              #17 DiamondGirl

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                Posted 15 January 2011 - 08:24 PM

                This is a very touchy subject and often misinterpreted. I think people view prenups as something negative and often look at it as if your significant other doesn't love you as much as he says because he mentioned "PRENUP". This is not so, although I did get offended when my FI brought up the subject. However, we both have pensions that we want to protect and this is one of the reasons why I thought "not a bad idea". A prenup protects the assets you have prior to marriage. Which means that your husband/wife is not entitled to such, if a divorce should arise. However, anything gained after marriage, you ARE entitled to. Another thing to keep in mind is when does the prenup expire? My FI and I have discussed this and we agreed that a 20 yr expiration would suffice, if that's the number he was comfortable with. He stated "After 20 yrs, if you take everything in the event that we divorce, screw it.....You earned it"!! It's protection on both ends. If it were you with lots to lose, you would definitely think about a prenup. Like the others have said, MAKE sure it's two sided. Add something to the prenup that'll protect you as well. At the end of it all, it doesn't make you love him any less and vice versa. It's business and you shouldn't be offended.



                #18 greysgirl

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                  Posted 16 January 2011 - 01:38 AM

                  Great thread. While I understand the "touchiness" of a prenup, it does have its place in some marriages.  As terribly unromantic as it sounds, a marriage is a legal contract between two parties and the state.  I did not get a pre-nup when I was married at the age of 22, and after 5 years of marriage and significant asset changes, I regretted it upon our divorce.  I had to pay my ex-husband alimony for 3 years as well as assume some of his debts he had prior to our marriage.  I swore that I wouldn't get remarried without a pre-nup, however, FI and I aren't getting one.  He was actually the one who brought it up and said he'd be more than happy to sign one if I wanted it, due to my divorce settlement.  After consulting with my attorney and lots of thought, I decided not to get one because our net worth is nearly identical.

                   

                  I think the "20-year" pre-nup is an excellent idea as it recognizes such a long marriage as an investment for both parties.

                   

                  For those of you who have been asked by your families, or your FI's families, try not to be offended.  It really is a matter of protecting their precious assets.  With the divorce rate over 50%, it's unfortunately logical to inquire about asset protection in the event of a divorce.

                   

                  Best wishes:)



                  #19 Tiffanya21

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                    Posted 18 January 2011 - 10:25 AM

                     

                    Originally Posted by DiamondGirl 

                    A prenup protects the assets you have prior to marriage. Which means that your husband/wife is not entitled to such, if a divorce should arise. However, anything gained after marriage, you ARE entitled to.

                     

                    See DiamondGirl, thats what I was thinking too, which would make it pointless for us to get a pre-nup. Right now, our assets are the same. He will be gaining the family business, but its still undetermined when. It will definitely not be within the next 9 months (before our wedding). I guess its different because it is his families business.....gosh, I need to find a good attorney to seek advice from.



                    #20 DiamondGirl

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                      Posted 18 January 2011 - 10:49 AM



                      Originally Posted by Tiffanya21 

                       

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by DiamondGirl 

                      A prenup protects the assets you have prior to marriage. Which means that your husband/wife is not entitled to such, if a divorce should arise. However, anything gained after marriage, you ARE entitled to.

                       

                      See DiamondGirl, thats what I was thinking too, which would make it pointless for us to get a pre-nup. Right now, our assets are the same. He will be gaining the family business, but its still undetermined when. It will definitely not be within the next 9 months (before our wedding). I guess its different because it is his families business.....gosh, I need to find a good attorney to seek advice from.


                      I agree, It is because it's a family business. The family I'm sure feels that they're passing it down to your FI and wouldn't want to see it go should you guys divorce. It's no biggie, just go along with the prenup and make sure you're protected on it as well. At the end of the day, you're going to get something regardless, just not going to take everything. Most attorneys offer a free consultation, visit one :)






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