Some nerve!! How inconsiderate!! I agree with the others, let your FI have a sit down with her. Regardless how right you are, you would seem like the bad guy if you handled it. I can relate....I too had a similar issue with my FMIL except that she said "oh, don't forget to send an invite to maria, debbie, betty etc..." to the point where she wanted me to send invites to family members whom they haven't spoken to or seen in years!!! She said "I know they're not going to go, but I just want them to know that my son is getting married and want them to see the invitation". REALLY?!?!? Who cares!!! Good luck!
Help!! I don't know what to do!
Posted 08 January 2011 - 10:32 AM
That is terrible! I would hate that. I was very clear from the beginning that we were having a small wedding. My mom would like to invite a ton of people I know, but she did really good. We kept it to immediate family (Out to Grandparents Aunts and Uncles) and then close friends. I also asked my parents and his parents if they had anyone special they wanted to invite. They each had one or two friends they requested which I was fine with. Maybe you can make some sort of comprimise like that?
I have had a few people ask me about their families/friends coming along. I said that they were welcome to use the group discount at the resort, but to let them know upfront that I may not have room for them at the reception as space is limited (which it genuinely will be). I understand this some people's only vacation for the year, or even the next few years - but at the same time - this is YOUR wedding.
If you aren't comfortable with it, you shouldn't do it.
Posted 08 January 2011 - 02:50 PM
So my FI talked with his mother and she apologized to me and said that she shouldn't have done that and she told the people she invited that they were not allowed to come! I'm glad we now have that sorted out! Thanks everyone for your advice!
Posted 08 January 2011 - 10:35 PM
@Jaykay- BIG load off of your shoulders.....I'm glad to hear everything worked out!
Posted 09 January 2011 - 05:13 AM
I would say that they can join the vacation but for the actual ceremony they wont be invited due to financial constraints.
As they said you cant stop them coming to the resort but you CAN stop them being part of the ceremony.
Posted 10 January 2011 - 03:24 PM
Glad she was able to understand. It sounds like she wants to show her son and his new wife off to her friends Maybe you two can let her throw you a casual AHR, like an at home bar-be-que or something where she can invite people and show a slide show of the wedding photos. I bet that would really make her feel included.
Posted 11 January 2011 - 02:47 PM
Glad everything worked out! I'm going through the same issues with my family as well - I think sometimes they forget whose day it is
Posted 11 January 2011 - 08:31 PM
I'm glad everything has worked itself out, and I can finally move on to other things!
Posted 13 January 2011 - 07:46 AM
So glad to hear that everythign worked out. I was getting frustrated just reading everyone's stories!!! Are you planning an AHR? That is a good way to include those that you weren't able to invite to the wedding. Good luck with the rest of your planning
Posted 13 January 2011 - 08:50 PM
We aren't having a formal AHR, but maybe just an informal drop by BBQ or something.
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