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Advice Please!?

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#1 AshleyTX

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    Posted 30 December 2010 - 08:08 AM

    I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I need some advice, please!


    I have decided that I am going to walk down the aisle alone - all three of the influential "fatherly figures" in my life will be at the wedding and it's not that I'm having trouble deciding on which one will be by my side, I've already made my decision to walk alone (if anything I may have my younger brother escort me).


    To make a long story short my parents got divorced when I was 7, I've lived with my Grandparents for a few years in the past, and my Mom remarried to my Step-Father when I was 15.


    My Mom thinks that I should have the conversation with my Dad ahead of time, letting him know (in a loving manner of course) that he will not be escorting me down the aisle. Have any of you walked alone or plan on walking alone? Have you had this conversation? I know that it is most father's dream to walk their daughter down the aisle (and I am his only daughter, but I know he'll have his step-daughter to walk too) but at the same time this is my day and I want it done the way that I want.  


    Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

    #2 weddingaway

    • Jr. Member
    • 196 posts

      Posted 23 January 2011 - 03:51 PM

      No, I have never had to experience this, but I do have experience giving people bad/disappointing news.


      First, tell him something complimentary, like how happy you and FI are that he is attending.  Next, give him perspective, like how excited you are about the wedding but you have to juggle your wants with the wants of others.  Now, break it to him gently, like "I know this means a lot to you but..." .  Next, try to offer him a consolation, like he will get the first father-bride dance or escorting someone else down the aisle (grandmother, sister, etc).  Lastly, remind him how grateful/excited you are to have him.


      Its good to practice this aloud so you can get the wording right.


      I hope this helps!

      #3 Canadiansandy

      • Jr. Member
      • 355 posts

        Posted 23 January 2011 - 05:08 PM

        I just went through something similar. My parents divorced when I was 2 and and my mom re-married about 10 years ago. My father and my step-father will be at the wedding, and I'm close to both of them. But I'm very very close to my mom, and I feel like she essentially raised me on her own and I want her to walk me down the aisle. I only recently got up the nerves to tell my dad, and it didn't go over too well. I think he was really surprised and disappointed. And I feel terrible, because I'm his only child, nevermind only daughter. But I had to do what I wanted for my wedding day. I don't want the day to be about pleasing other people. Hopefully in time he'll understand and accept it. To date, it hasn't come up again in conversation so I'm just going with my decision assuming everyone else is okay with it. 


        As for how to bring it up in conversation - I didn't say I wanted my mom to walk me because I'm closer to her, I didn't want to hurt him even more! I said I wanted my mom to play a bigger role in the wedding than mothers traditionally do, and we'd still have the father-daughter dance and stuff.

        Hope this helps! Just remember its your wedding, you have to do what you feel is right for  you.

        Sandy & Aaron ~ May 4, 2011 ~ Dreams Palm Beach, Punta Cana ------ Bride & Groom + 30 booked! (and counting)

        #4 johnnmakenzie11

        • Jr. Member
        • 157 posts

          Posted 01 February 2011 - 08:28 PM

          Walking alone is completely acceptable these days. Your dad isnt really giving you away so its kind of an outdated tradition. I do think you need to be honest with your dad ahead of time. you dont want someting like this hanging over you while you are planning the happiest day of your life!

          #5 Maritza919

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          • 421 posts

            Posted 02 February 2011 - 06:20 AM

            I can totally understand. My parents divorced when I was 8. I'm traditional on most part but my father and I don't have a great relationship. I had originally thought of walking down by myself but I am going to ask my mom. She is the most important person in my life (apart from my fiancee of course). She raised my 2 brothers and I by herself and it's one of the greatest moments in both of our lives as I get married. It's definitely hard decision I dont even think I'm going to do a father- daughter dance. I still have time but I think sometimes you have to do what works best for you. Hopefully you come up with a decision.

            #6 mmcst38

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            • 237 posts

              Posted 06 February 2011 - 10:30 AM

              I will be walking alone down the aisle as well, I considered my styepfather my dad, he was killed six years ago, my biological father I never considered, although I am very close with my grandparents and rest of his said of family, I am not close with him, neither of my brothers will be able to make it or I wouldve had one of them walk me down the aisle, and personally in my own opinion, I don't like when mothers walk their daughters down the aisle (all though I am extremely close with my mom) I want my mom to be able to watch me walk down the aisle and have that memory.


              In any case you could start the discussion with, since we arent having a tradtional wedding, we are doing somethings a little untraditionally...etc

              May 13, 2011
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              Ochos Rios Jamaica

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