I wanted to share with you the update on my cousin who isn't going to my wedding but still never said that she wasn't. However; her mom (My Aunt) told my other Aunt that she wasn't.
So, since I paid for all of the dress I thought it was only fair to ask that she pay for hers since she is no longer going to the wedding. It took me a while to figure out the exact wording as my cousin finds everything that is not something that she initiates either offensive or beneath her. In either case after writing the below message (in Pink), and reading it to my Aunt and a friend who knows nothing about my cousin both said "it's great, not mean etc.. So I emailed her.
I hope that you and Drew had a wonderful Holiday Season, and that this message finds you in good health mentally, physically, emotionally & spiritually.
This communication; although hesitantly written, is unfortunately necessary. There is so much that I would like to say and ask of you, however; without wanting things to be misconstrued I will not. Yet, I pray that whatever the reason that we do not have your support will be discussed in time.
With that said, I ask that you reimburse me the cost of the dress, which is $268. I believe that this is far as it was advised that the purchase of the bridesmaids dress was a gift to say â€œThank youâ€ and to help offset the cost for attending our wedding. Since, you will not attend, coupled with the fact that there was plenty of communications and time to decline your involvement prior to my purchasing the dress, this is all that I ask and hope that this is acknowledged.
You can remit payment in whichever manner you choose, however; I am set-up on PayPal as firstname.lastname@example.org. Once payment is received, I will be more than happy to send the dress your way.
Thank you for your time an attention to this sensitive matter.
Today I received her response (in blue)
The check is in the mail! I made it an even $300 and please don't send the dress. I have absolutely NO use for it and perhaps someone else can wear it in your wedding. With that being said, I find it borderline offensive that you assumed that I would not reimburse you since I'm completely aware of how expensive weddings can be.
And here is my response (pink)
Nikki, I assumed you would find any communication to you offensive which is sad!
My communication with you has always been straightforward & not written in any angry or offensive manner. Yet, since you HAVE NOT communicated to me at all regarding my wedding (which I find insulting & offensive to say the least especially after all that I did to be a part of your day) & given that we are all busy, I sent an email to say "hey can you resolve this" that was it! Nothing more & nothing less. You should know me better than that but given the tone in your response, I gather you do not.
Again, no spite, hate etc. this is not about you, or your day but MINE!
May your heart, mind, & burdens be light! As I was NEVER or will ever be against you!!!!!!!
Unfortunate as this is (and she is family), it shows you that no one is exempt. Not even those of us who uphold our commitments to friends and family. So hopefully the check is in the mail & I will put the dress on eBay to try and recoup for more.