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#3121 coconoir1908

coconoir1908
  • Sr. Member
  • 2,136 posts

    Posted 05 January 2012 - 03:05 PM

    Hi Ladies,

     

    I wanted to share with you the update on my cousin who isn't going to my wedding but still never said that she wasn't.  However; her mom (My Aunt) told my other Aunt that she wasn't. 

     

    So, since I paid for all of the dress I thought it was only fair to ask that she pay for hers since she is no longer going to the wedding.  It took me a while to figure out the exact wording as my cousin finds everything that is not something that she initiates either offensive or beneath her. In either case after writing the below message (in Pink), and reading it to my Aunt and a friend who knows nothing about my cousin both said "it's great, not mean etc..  So I emailed her.

     

    My message

     

    Nikki,

    I hope that you and Drew had a wonderful Holiday Season, and that this message finds you in good health mentally, physically, emotionally & spiritually.

    This communication; although hesitantly written, is unfortunately necessary. There is so much that I would like to say and ask of you, however; without wanting things to be misconstrued I will not. Yet, I pray that whatever the reason that we do not have your support will be discussed in time.

    With that said, I ask that you reimburse me the cost of the dress, which is $268. I believe that this is far as it was advised that the purchase of the bridesmaids dress was a gift to say “Thank you” and to help offset the cost for attending our wedding. Since, you will not attend, coupled with the fact that there was plenty of communications and time to decline your involvement prior to my purchasing the dress, this is all that I ask and hope that this is acknowledged.

    You can remit payment in whichever manner you choose, however; I am set-up on PayPal as coconoir1908@aol.com. Once payment is received, I will be more than happy to send the dress your way.

    Thank you for your time an attention to this sensitive matter.

     

    Today I received her response (in blue)

     

    Chanel

     

    The check is in the mail! I made it an even $300 and please don't send the dress. I have absolutely NO use for it and perhaps someone else can wear it in your wedding. With that being said, I find it borderline offensive that you assumed that I would not reimburse you since I'm completely aware of how expensive weddings can be.

    Best Regards,
    Nikki King

     

    And here is my response (pink)

     

    Nikki, I assumed you would find any communication to you offensive which is sad!

    My communication with you has always been straightforward & not written in any angry or offensive manner. Yet, since you HAVE NOT communicated to me at all regarding my wedding (which I find insulting & offensive to say the least especially after all that I did to be a part of your day) & given that we are all busy, I sent an email to say "hey can you resolve this" that was it! Nothing more & nothing less. You should know me better than that but given the tone in your response, I gather you do not.

    Again, no spite, hate etc. this is not about you, or your day but MINE!

    May your heart, mind, & burdens be light! As I was NEVER or will ever be against you!!!!!!!

     

    Unfortunate as this is (and she is family), it shows you that no one is exempt.  Not even those of us who uphold our commitments to friends and family.  So hopefully the check is in the mail & I will put the dress on eBay to try and recoup for more. 

     

     

     



    #3122 YWS2012

    YWS2012
    • Jr. Member
    • 393 posts

      Posted 05 January 2012 - 03:44 PM

      WOW COCO WOW!!!!!!

      Hi Ladies,

       

      I wanted to share with you the update on my cousin who isn't going to my wedding but still never said that she wasn't.  However; her mom (My Aunt) told my other Aunt that she wasn't. 

       

      So, since I paid for all of the dress I thought it was only fair to ask that she pay for hers since she is no longer going to the wedding.  It took me a while to figure out the exact wording as my cousin finds everything that is not something that she initiates either offensive or beneath her. In either case after writing the below message (in Pink), and reading it to my Aunt and a friend who knows nothing about my cousin both said "it's great, not mean etc..  So I emailed her.

       

      My message

       

      Nikki,

      I hope that you and Drew had a wonderful Holiday Season, and that this message finds you in good health mentally, physically, emotionally & spiritually.

      This communication; although hesitantly written, is unfortunately necessary. There is so much that I would like to say and ask of you, however; without wanting things to be misconstrued I will not. Yet, I pray that whatever the reason that we do not have your support will be discussed in time.

      With that said, I ask that you reimburse me the cost of the dress, which is $268. I believe that this is far as it was advised that the purchase of the bridesmaids dress was a gift to say “Thank you” and to help offset the cost for attending our wedding. Since, you will not attend, coupled with the fact that there was plenty of communications and time to decline your involvement prior to my purchasing the dress, this is all that I ask and hope that this is acknowledged.

      You can remit payment in whichever manner you choose, however; I am set-up on PayPal as coconoir1908@aol.com. Once payment is received, I will be more than happy to send the dress your way.

      Thank you for your time an attention to this sensitive matter.

       

      Today I received her response (in blue)

       

      Chanel

       

      The check is in the mail! I made it an even $300 and please don't send the dress. I have absolutely NO use for it and perhaps someone else can wear it in your wedding. With that being said, I find it borderline offensive that you assumed that I would not reimburse you since I'm completely aware of how expensive weddings can be.

      Best Regards,
      Nikki King

       

      And here is my response (pink)

       

      Nikki, I assumed you would find any communication to you offensive which is sad!

      My communication with you has always been straightforward & not written in any angry or offensive manner. Yet, since you HAVE NOT communicated to me at all regarding my wedding (which I find insulting & offensive to say the least especially after all that I did to be a part of your day) & given that we are all busy, I sent an email to say "hey can you resolve this" that was it! Nothing more & nothing less. You should know me better than that but given the tone in your response, I gather you do not.

      Again, no spite, hate etc. this is not about you, or your day but MINE!

      May your heart, mind, & burdens be light! As I was NEVER or will ever be against you!!!!!!!

       

      Unfortunate as this is (and she is family), it shows you that no one is exempt.  Not even those of us who uphold our commitments to friends and family.  So hopefully the check is in the mail & I will put the dress on eBay to try and recoup for more. 

       

       

       



       



      #3123 JQLong

      JQLong
      • Jr. Member
      • 336 posts

        Posted 06 January 2012 - 05:57 AM

        Ms. Coconoir.....

         

        You were extremely eloquent & mature in your email despite the difficult message you had to convey.  Sadly, the reaction was not equally mature.  It really seems that wedding bring out the worst in many people.  Emotions run high and it typically is directed towards the bride

        Hi Ladies,

         

        I wanted to share with you the update on my cousin who isn't going to my wedding but still never said that she wasn't.  However; her mom (My Aunt) told my other Aunt that she wasn't. 

         

        So, since I paid for all of the dress I thought it was only fair to ask that she pay for hers since she is no longer going to the wedding.  It took me a while to figure out the exact wording as my cousin finds everything that is not something that she initiates either offensive or beneath her. In either case after writing the below message (in Pink), and reading it to my Aunt and a friend who knows nothing about my cousin both said "it's great, not mean etc..  So I emailed her.

         

        My message

         

        Nikki,

        I hope that you and Drew had a wonderful Holiday Season, and that this message finds you in good health mentally, physically, emotionally & spiritually.

        This communication; although hesitantly written, is unfortunately necessary. There is so much that I would like to say and ask of you, however; without wanting things to be misconstrued I will not. Yet, I pray that whatever the reason that we do not have your support will be discussed in time.

        With that said, I ask that you reimburse me the cost of the dress, which is $268. I believe that this is far as it was advised that the purchase of the bridesmaids dress was a gift to say “Thank you” and to help offset the cost for attending our wedding. Since, you will not attend, coupled with the fact that there was plenty of communications and time to decline your involvement prior to my purchasing the dress, this is all that I ask and hope that this is acknowledged.

        You can remit payment in whichever manner you choose, however; I am set-up on PayPal as coconoir1908@aol.com. Once payment is received, I will be more than happy to send the dress your way.

        Thank you for your time an attention to this sensitive matter.

         

        Today I received her response (in blue)

         

        Chanel

         

        The check is in the mail! I made it an even $300 and please don't send the dress. I have absolutely NO use for it and perhaps someone else can wear it in your wedding. With that being said, I find it borderline offensive that you assumed that I would not reimburse you since I'm completely aware of how expensive weddings can be.

        Best Regards,
        Nikki King

         

        And here is my response (pink)

         

        Nikki, I assumed you would find any communication to you offensive which is sad!

        My communication with you has always been straightforward & not written in any angry or offensive manner. Yet, since you HAVE NOT communicated to me at all regarding my wedding (which I find insulting & offensive to say the least especially after all that I did to be a part of your day) & given that we are all busy, I sent an email to say "hey can you resolve this" that was it! Nothing more & nothing less. You should know me better than that but given the tone in your response, I gather you do not.

        Again, no spite, hate etc. this is not about you, or your day but MINE!

        May your heart, mind, & burdens be light! As I was NEVER or will ever be against you!!!!!!!

         

        Unfortunate as this is (and she is family), it shows you that no one is exempt.  Not even those of us who uphold our commitments to friends and family.  So hopefully the check is in the mail & I will put the dress on eBay to try and recoup for more. 

         

         

         



         


        So Amazing......July 4, 2012!!!!!!


        #3124 OceanPhoto

        OceanPhoto
        • Vendor
        • 84 posts

          Posted 06 January 2012 - 07:32 AM

          So sad to hear that Coconoir1908:

           

          I still cant understand why your cousin assume you will know she will pay for the dress, if in the firts place she never told  she wouldnt attend to your wedding, so you made the right thing to writte her, people surprise us everyday, its so sad when things like this happens, hope you feel better now this issue its resolve, hope soon or later she regreat  not attendingt to your big day im pretty sure its going to be amazing!

           

          Happy Weekend!



          #3125 JennyLynn

          JennyLynn
          • Newbie
          • 16 posts

            Posted 06 January 2012 - 07:52 AM

            Hi Everyone! I'm Jenny and  new to the forum I've been trying to get a date set for May 2012  :)  I submitted a wedding request and emailed more than once and no one get back to me. Does everyone have this trouble trying to secure a date? Thank you sooo much :) I'm sure I will be on here a lot :)



            #3126 Jamie5280

            Jamie5280
            • Member
            • 675 posts

              Posted 06 January 2012 - 08:20 AM

              Oh Coco!!!  :(

               

              Of course, another person making it all about themselves!  I felt that your e-mail was VERY eloquent and you didn't attack her, which is most important! People just don't get it!  It's even worse because it's family!!!  There is no easy way to say what you had to say, but you did it like a lady and with class!

               

              As we all say, weddings really do bring out the worst in people, which is hurtful and sad!

               

              I am soo sorry my dear!  Big Hugs to you!!!!!!   

              Hi Ladies,

               

              I wanted to share with you the update on my cousin who isn't going to my wedding but still never said that she wasn't.  However; her mom (My Aunt) told my other Aunt that she wasn't. 

               

              So, since I paid for all of the dress I thought it was only fair to ask that she pay for hers since she is no longer going to the wedding.  It took me a while to figure out the exact wording as my cousin finds everything that is not something that she initiates either offensive or beneath her. In either case after writing the below message (in Pink), and reading it to my Aunt and a friend who knows nothing about my cousin both said "it's great, not mean etc..  So I emailed her.

               

              My message

               

              Nikki,

              I hope that you and Drew had a wonderful Holiday Season, and that this message finds you in good health mentally, physically, emotionally & spiritually.

              This communication; although hesitantly written, is unfortunately necessary. There is so much that I would like to say and ask of you, however; without wanting things to be misconstrued I will not. Yet, I pray that whatever the reason that we do not have your support will be discussed in time.

              With that said, I ask that you reimburse me the cost of the dress, which is $268. I believe that this is far as it was advised that the purchase of the bridesmaids dress was a gift to say “Thank you” and to help offset the cost for attending our wedding. Since, you will not attend, coupled with the fact that there was plenty of communications and time to decline your involvement prior to my purchasing the dress, this is all that I ask and hope that this is acknowledged.

              You can remit payment in whichever manner you choose, however; I am set-up on PayPal as coconoir1908@aol.com. Once payment is received, I will be more than happy to send the dress your way.

              Thank you for your time an attention to this sensitive matter.

               

              Today I received her response (in blue)

               

              Chanel

               

              The check is in the mail! I made it an even $300 and please don't send the dress. I have absolutely NO use for it and perhaps someone else can wear it in your wedding. With that being said, I find it borderline offensive that you assumed that I would not reimburse you since I'm completely aware of how expensive weddings can be.

              Best Regards,
              Nikki King

               

              And here is my response (pink)

               

              Nikki, I assumed you would find any communication to you offensive which is sad!

              My communication with you has always been straightforward & not written in any angry or offensive manner. Yet, since you HAVE NOT communicated to me at all regarding my wedding (which I find insulting & offensive to say the least especially after all that I did to be a part of your day) & given that we are all busy, I sent an email to say "hey can you resolve this" that was it! Nothing more & nothing less. You should know me better than that but given the tone in your response, I gather you do not.

              Again, no spite, hate etc. this is not about you, or your day but MINE!

              May your heart, mind, & burdens be light! As I was NEVER or will ever be against you!!!!!!!

               

              Unfortunate as this is (and she is family), it shows you that no one is exempt.  Not even those of us who uphold our commitments to friends and family.  So hopefully the check is in the mail & I will put the dress on eBay to try and recoup for more. 

               

               

               



               



              #3127 Palacebridex2

              Palacebridex2
              • Jr. Member
              • 281 posts

                Posted 06 January 2012 - 08:27 AM

                Girl, I'm at a loss for words!! Wow! She is really upset about something that she's not sharing with you!! Girl, all you can do is keep it moving.  Don't let anyone ( family or not spoil your joy) things will end up how they are supposed to be!

                Originally Posted by coconoir1908 

                Hi Ladies,

                 

                I wanted to share with you the update on my cousin who isn't going to my wedding but still never said that she wasn't.  However; her mom (My Aunt) told my other Aunt that she wasn't. 

                 

                So, since I paid for all of the dress I thought it was only fair to ask that she pay for hers since she is no longer going to the wedding.  It took me a while to figure out the exact wording as my cousin finds everything that is not something that she initiates either offensive or beneath her. In either case after writing the below message (in Pink), and reading it to my Aunt and a friend who knows nothing about my cousin both said "it's great, not mean etc..  So I emailed her.

                 

                My message

                 

                Nikki,

                I hope that you and Drew had a wonderful Holiday Season, and that this message finds you in good health mentally, physically, emotionally & spiritually.

                This communication; although hesitantly written, is unfortunately necessary. There is so much that I would like to say and ask of you, however; without wanting things to be misconstrued I will not. Yet, I pray that whatever the reason that we do not have your support will be discussed in time.

                With that said, I ask that you reimburse me the cost of the dress, which is $268. I believe that this is far as it was advised that the purchase of the bridesmaids dress was a gift to say “Thank you” and to help offset the cost for attending our wedding. Since, you will not attend, coupled with the fact that there was plenty of communications and time to decline your involvement prior to my purchasing the dress, this is all that I ask and hope that this is acknowledged.

                You can remit payment in whichever manner you choose, however; I am set-up on PayPal as coconoir1908@aol.com. Once payment is received, I will be more than happy to send the dress your way.

                Thank you for your time an attention to this sensitive matter.

                 

                Today I received her response (in blue)

                 

                Chanel

                 

                The check is in the mail! I made it an even $300 and please don't send the dress. I have absolutely NO use for it and perhaps someone else can wear it in your wedding. With that being said, I find it borderline offensive that you assumed that I would not reimburse you since I'm completely aware of how expensive weddings can be.

                Best Regards,
                Nikki King

                 

                And here is my response (pink)

                 

                Nikki, I assumed you would find any communication to you offensive which is sad!

                My communication with you has always been straightforward & not written in any angry or offensive manner. Yet, since you HAVE NOT communicated to me at all regarding my wedding (which I find insulting & offensive to say the least especially after all that I did to be a part of your day) & given that we are all busy, I sent an email to say "hey can you resolve this" that was it! Nothing more & nothing less. You should know me better than that but given the tone in your response, I gather you do not.

                Again, no spite, hate etc. this is not about you, or your day but MINE!

                May your heart, mind, & burdens be light! As I was NEVER or will ever be against you!!!!!!!

                 

                Unfortunate as this is (and she is family), it shows you that no one is exempt.  Not even those of us who uphold our commitments to friends and family.  So hopefully the check is in the mail & I will put the dress on eBay to try and recoup for more. 

                 

                 

                 



                 

                 



                #3128 coconoir1908

                coconoir1908
                • Sr. Member
                • 2,136 posts

                  Posted 06 January 2012 - 02:02 PM


                  Yes, hopefully she stays true to her word.  But, even if she doesn't the message sent will be my last of any kind to her.  Life goes on. 

                  Originally Posted by YWS2012 

                  WOW COCO WOW!!!!!!

                  Ms. Coconoir.....

                   

                  You were extremely eloquent & mature in your email despite the difficult message you had to convey.  Sadly, the reaction was not equally mature.  It really seems that wedding bring out the worst in many people.  Emotions run high and it typically is directed towards the bride

                  So sad to hear that Coconoir1908:

                   

                  I still cant understand why your cousin assume you will know she will pay for the dress, if in the firts place she never told  she wouldnt attend to your wedding, so you made the right thing to writte her, people surprise us everyday, its so sad when things like this happens, hope you feel better now this issue its resolve, hope soon or later she regreat  not attendingt to your big day im pretty sure its going to be amazing!

                   

                  Happy Weekend!

                  Oh Coco!!!  :(

                   

                  Of course, another person making it all about themselves!  I felt that your e-mail was VERY eloquent and you didn't attack her, which is most important! People just don't get it!  It's even worse because it's family!!!  There is no easy way to say what you had to say, but you did it like a lady and with class!

                   

                  As we all say, weddings really do bring out the worst in people, which is hurtful and sad!

                   

                  I am soo sorry my dear!  Big Hugs to you!!!!!!   

                  Girl, I'm at a loss for words!! Wow! She is really upset about something that she's not sharing with you!! Girl, all you can do is keep it moving.  Don't let anyone ( family or not spoil your joy) things will end up how they are supposed to be!



                   

                   



                   



                  #3129 coconoir1908

                  coconoir1908
                  • Sr. Member
                  • 2,136 posts

                    Posted 06 January 2012 - 02:11 PM

                    Onto the good news I placed an order for FI's suit today from Studio Suits.  I ordered the present size of the Irish Linen in light beige.  The total price (he has a football build;-) was $230 for the suit which included an extra $10 for suit jacket (48R).  Shipping was $20.  So as soon as we receive this, I will post pictures.  I also emailed the gentlemen to give them a heads up as to when I will need their preset measurements. 

                     

                    Once we implement our new database within all of our health 6 centers next week, I will be able to relax again and shortly start ordering decor based on our final numbers.  Also, FI told me last night that his daughter was going to go get her passport on Saturday.  *note if she does go and apply I will have an immediate update on Saturday.  I will allow her to be a bridesmaid again which will mean that I will post her information back on our wedding website, however; I will not do a reprint of our programs.  STAY TUNED!



                    #3130 summer12

                    summer12
                    • Site Supporter
                    • 156 posts

                      Posted 06 January 2012 - 03:24 PM



                      Originally Posted by coconoir1908 

                      Onto the good news I placed an order for FI's suit today from Studio Suits.  I ordered the present size of the Irish Linen in light beige.  The total price (he has a football build;-) was $230 for the suit which included an extra $10 for suit jacket (48R).  Shipping was $20.  So as soon as we receive this, I will post pictures.  I also emailed the gentlemen to give them a heads up as to when I will need their preset measurements. 

                       

                      Once we implement our new database within all of our health 6 centers next week, I will be able to relax again and shortly start ordering decor based on our final numbers.  Also, FI told me last night that his daughter was going to go get her passport on Saturday.  *note if she does go and apply I will have an immediate update on Saturday.  I will allow her to be a bridesmaid again which will mean that I will post her information back on our wedding website, however; I will not do a reprint of our programs.  STAY TUNED!



                       

                      Whoop whoop! Can't wait to see the suit! And how exciting will it be to get the database implemented?! 






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