Just The 2 of you destination wedding?

pat291 · December 19, 2010

Hello,

It has been months since I came back on here. The original plan was to have a wedding where we live @ a banquet hall etc. However due to financial strains we decided it would not be best to have a destination wedding with just the 2 of us. We realised that the wedding we dreamed of could dig us in a bigger hole..We also knew that not many would be able to attend our destination due to travel and it being alot to ask for so we said it best if its just the 2 of us and that way nobody feelings are hurt. we been together almost 8 years. We truly love each other, know each other well and want to make the big step.

How do we go about announcing this? since everyone is not sure of our actual plans.How can we share our wedding bliss when we come back home? should we make little gifts or something?

Little Princess · December 19, 2010

Me and my fiance are simply not telling anybody. Well, some of his family and friends know and they're all totally ok with it, they understand our reasons. My family can't make it, so it wouldn't be fair for his to come. I'm not telling my family as I feel it'd upset them that they really can't possibly make it. I'm going for the whole "It's better to ask forgiveness than permission" thing!! We're telling them as soon as we're married, and in a couple of years we're hoping to have a reception or a renewal of vows, that kind of thing, where we can invite everyone. We just can't afford to do that right now.

I'm sure they will support any decision you make, it's your choice Just make sure you have lots of photos and maybe a video to show them! (I'm thinking one witness taking photos, another taking a video!). Bring them a souvenier, or plan on a relatively low-key at home reception. Some feelings will be hurt, but..that would be the case no matter what. Even if you had the whole thing in your home town, SOMEONE would be bound to miss out!

I know I haven't really answered your questions, but I hope I was some help even if just in letting you know that you're not the only one thinking of such a plan Honestly, not telling people feels kind of underhanded and sneaky, so I don't fully recommend that route, I just know my family and I think it's for the best.

I'm wracking my brain right now trying to think HOW you'd announce that kind of thing...Invitations wouldn't work as they're not invited!! Maybe just tell people "Hey, we're eloping, how cool is that! See you when we return!".

What I'm considering doing is sending out to all the people I WOULD have invited, a nice note telling them about it (invitation style), with a couple of photos included. If I had the option, it would include an invitation to an at home reception. I'll be emailing the important people (like close family and friends) from my hotel that day, but I think it'd be nice to do that too

Anyway, sorry for the rambly post! Good luck figuring it all out And congratulations

Sallee · December 19, 2010

Our original plan was for it to be just the two of us. We have always set peoples expectations that we would be getting married abroad both of our parents wouldnt be able to travel due to ill health plus my Mum has never been outside of the UK so would totally freak out at the thought of a 12 hour flight!!

We have recently moved back to the UK after living in Canada and are currently living with my parents whilst we wait for our furniture to be shipped back. As people have been used to us not being around and the living with the folks we booked the wedding as soon as we could as it may not be financially viable once we are back in our own place.

We have booked for Costa Rica for March 2011 and told everyone that we had booked and didnt invite anyone to accompany us. However 2 friends asked if they could join us so we have accepted them happily into our wedding. We had hoped to have an AHR to integrate the families into our celebration but I cant see this happening due to some unexpected costs bring our stuff back to the Uk. I think we will look at booking a special meal for close friends and family once we are back.

schmizer · December 20, 2010

I think you just need to be honest about your feelings to the people you are closest to.

After your destination wedding, you could have an AHR to celebrate if you like. It will be an opportunity for your friends and family to pay their respects.

pat291 · January 2, 2011

Thank you ladies for the replies. I think everyone is right and we are going to do what makes us happy. I also feel like just the 2 of us has taken a thousand punds off my shoulder.

christinebauer · January 3, 2011

I have some friends that did destination weddings and I think the reason they did it was because they really didn't want anyone to be there since they knew people would be too busy to travel or can't afford it. Then after they came back they just had a wedding reception or party so everyone here could celebrate, but since it was more causal, they didn't have too much of a financial burden. Plus they used the party to show the the wedding/honeymoon so everyone pictures so people in a way their friends shared in their wedding day without having to be there. Most people's feeling won't be hurt I'm sure.