Bridal Shower Etiquette

[Lindslou]

I had my shower this past weekend. It was put on by my bridesmaids and my mom.  I gave the girls a list of who to invite which included my close family and friends as well as my FI mom, sister and cousin who I am close to.  I really didn't want it to be a large party because I didn't want the girls to spend a lot of $$$ on the shower.  

 

The night before my shower I went to pick up gifts from my registry.  They were from my FI aunts and cousin (who I have never met) and the cards said - so sorry we couldn't make it to your shower - I didn't invite them.  At my shower FI mother was miffed that they were the only ones from his side of the family there.  Later I find out that his mother took it upon herself to invite FI complete extended family  , none of who live anywhere close to us and I have only met a small number of them. I'm pretty shocked that she did this and not sure how to approach it. 

 

Of course I will be sending thank you cards for the gifts that I did receive.  I feel that she has really over stepped the boundary's and that if it was that important to her to have his family included than she should've planned something.  What's a girl to do.....

 

[Thomasjsgirl]

Sometimes its a cultural thing ... my background is Italian, and there is absolutely no way that only my family and friends would be invited to a bridal shower held in my honour. It's considered an insult to the groom's family if they are shut out. Usually both sides provide a list of who they would like to include, similar to the actual wedding and reception. Was she consulted at all about family invitees?

 

[Lindslou]

I totally understand the cultural thing but unfortunatly it's not the case.  The way I'm use to showers is that the shower hosted by my MOH is for the brides family and friends or just friends.  Quite often someone from the grooms side would host one as well if they wanted to but not at all neccessary.  I have never been to a shower that is similar to the wedding reception except for my cousin who married an italian.  I did ask my FI cousin if this was the way showers where handled for past weddings in the family and they were just like mine. 

[karyan]

That's a bit of a pain......weddings sometimes make MIL a bit crazy too, so I'm sure there are other factors involved. Maybe have a talk with her to clear the air and set up some boundaries? 

[SusanJeff2008]

I don't know what to say, I can totally see the same thing happening to me

[chell44]

I always thought family and friends from both the bride and the grooms family were invited

[Tessab123]

Seems, showers are different for all. I have been to italian showers and wow do they ever put on a show, seems both families are invited AND tons of friends. I have also been to showers where it is simple strictly brides family and close friends. not sure what to say, but if you feel she stepped over the line maybe you should explain your bridal shower theory to her and she may understand why you never invited them

[sandinmytoes]

I agree that showers are different for everyone, but I can honestly say i havent ever been to one that was just for the brides family/friends. I am sure it was a misunderstanding on her part. 

[DiamondGirl]

Bridal shower etiquette is that everyone invited to the wedding gets a bridal shower invitation.

[LisaMatterni]

There are really situations like that. Sometimes you have to composed yourself at the best possible manner. It's not only applicable to bridal shower only but also with other occassions.