Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
snow88

Need some advise encouragement...Update

Recommended Posts

We have been having so many things go wrong with people we I asked to be BM and MOH plus finances that I'm at the end of my rope.  The final straw is that the 2nd person that I asked to be BM called tonight and said that her brother died back home so she needs to go to the funeral.  No problem but then she says that if she goes then she can't go to my wedding.  I have paid for her dress which was custom made to fit her plus it will need altering still and I was planning on paying for her shoes.  

 

I'm feeling pretty down and depressed as it is because 1.  my FI was in an accident on Friday 2. His family is from Jamaica so they were affected by the floods 3. my father has been giving me a lot of problems and 4. finances are tight.

So I say well, with how things are going we might not be getting married in January anyway.  She say yeah, maybe you can move your wedding till June.  I thought that she would offer some kind of encouragement but tell me to put off my wedding till June with it just 3 months away.  

 

Anyway, I talked to my FI and he was very upset about her going back on her commitment to our wedding.  We can't change our wedding date for one person.  Problem is what am I going to do with this dress?  It's custom made for her.  I'm not even going to ask anyone else to be my BM.  I give up on that.  I'll just have a MOH.  My first MOH said she couldn't come because of work and the 2nd one said that she couldn't afford it.  Now, they both say they are coming.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry that so many things don't seem to be working out right now. Take a deep breath and know that you will have a beautiful wedding no matter who manages to make it or not. I was so stressed about it at the start and now realize it's about things we can't control, so try to adjust and move forward. It sucks that you had to have a dress custom made. But you still have two wonderful friends who both are coming down to be with you! Can the dress be altered to fit one of them perhaps?

Good luck, and know you're not alone! Let us know how it goes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the dress could be altered to fit both of my friends that I originally asked to be BM and MOH but one wouldn't wear it because she prefers longer sleeves but if the other friend goes I will ask her if she would consider it again and I can have it altered for her.

 

I will know by this weekend what will happen and I will update then.   Thanks for the encouragement.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For the girl who prefers long sleeve, you could always get chiffon sleeves added or a nice shoulder shrug. I am sure things will work out in the end! Sending positive thoughts :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, now she's saying that she "will come and make the sacrifice because she promised me'.  Then she said something about now she's not sure she would have the money because she has this other commitment in January that she has to pay for too.  

I told her that # 1- she shouldn't be paying for that other thing (it's complicated to explain).  The other thing is that this is something that she would have known about 1 year ago just like my wedding.  

 

Both FI and I think that she is trying to get us to pay for the whole trip for her.

 

I'm thinking of just telling her to forget it?  I don't have to have a BM right even though I have a BM and GM?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your wedding is not worth the stress! Tell your friend you would be thrilled if she can make it, but understand if she can't. But then be firm and tell her, you have others things to deal with, and not to bother you with her problems. She also needs to make a choice! And don't get cornered into paying for her trip...destination weddings are meant to be special, and make the wedding easy for the bride and groom.

You have other wonderful family and friends coming, concentrate on them!

 

Good luck! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Murmel.  I don't think stress free is what I would call my wedding right now.  :)   I'm going to speak to her as soon as we are finished dealing with some other issues.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I would be tempted for sanity sake to say you can no longer have her as your BM as she cant commit to your wedding but she will still be welcome to attend should she be able to afford to do so........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Sallee! I'm so sorry to hear you are having to deal with all of this stress!  It's too bad that we can't have friends anymore that commit and don't go back on their decision to make things difficult! I know things will work out great for you and that you will have a fabulous wedding! Just keep your head up and be strong! This is YOUR day!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • we ended up using Facebook messenger when we were in Mexico - the hotel had free wifi and at least 1 person from each family/couple had FB on their phone already - it was pretty easy to communicate among guests "hey, we're heading to the beach bbq for lunch." or "everyone is hanging at the small pool today".  a plus was that some people tried to get a hold of me via FB on the day of the wedding and I was totally not checking my phone - they were asking if the wedding was outside given the rain forecast, thankful my mom, MOH and a few other friends were on the group and could respond for me :) 
    • Are you looking for a guide where you’ll find many tips and steps to follow to make your wedding a success? We design a special for you, where you will find: Photography Tips To-Do List Check list How to choose the best dress? Memories and invitations And much more! Download it now for free from: http://emweddings.com/WeddingGuide/index.html     Don’t stress. Enjoy every moment, tomorrow will be your best memories. See you soon!
    • Another option is to find an app that allows for group talk. This Wedding Party App looks pretty neat. https://apracticalwedding.com/wedding-party-app/ 
    • Hi Everyone, So, I was cleaning out my closet and realized that I never sold off my extra wedding OOT bag stuff from our wonderful DW.   46 Daily Spanish for Dummies 30 Pool colored OOT fabric bags - approximately 13in x 13in. They lay flat.  I used them for our wedding and they were perfect for everything we needed to fit in each bag. There’s a slight shade variation in the group; I’m guessing some were cut from a different bolt of fabric.  They are also a little wrinkled from storage and will probably be wrinkled from shipping. I have three additional ones, but they somehow got something on them (likely toddler related). If needed, I can try to wash it out and send those as well. 
    • I’m getting married in six months to my foreign girlfriend. I was advised by a friend that one of the things I need to do before saying I do is to get a prenuptial agreement. Basically it’s supposed to protect my assets and properties in case my relationship with my future wife goes down the drain. I don’t know though if this is an acceptable practice when marrying Kiev ladies. I don’t want to do it if it would be insulting on her end. I need advice on this. Please help me.
  • Topics

×