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AWKWARD!!! ... Advice please!


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#1 roxmysockz

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    Posted 02 October 2010 - 01:43 PM

    Ok girls need some advice please!!

     

    7 years ago myself and FI met our friends G and L (who were not together) and then around 6 years ago they became a couple. We (me and FI) have spent loads of time with them since they got together including meals out/vacations/xmas/new year etc and I have over the years become best friends with G.

     

    As soon as we planned our wedding they were first on the invite list and I asked G to be my bridesmaid along with my cousin. But the last 6 months or so L has been treating G really bad and I have on numerous occasions had to bite my tounge to stop myself from saying something to him for his behaviour.

     

    So, last weekend they came to blows over him being bad to her AGAIN and split up...  tonight out of the blue I get a text message from him asking "Am I still invited to the wedding?"

     

     

     

    ACK! What on earth do I reply?

     

    Of course my priority is that my best friend is comfortable and happy, so surely the answer is no.. but its such early days even though shes adamant that they wont get back together what if they do thats going to hurt his feelings for no reason.

     

    My FI says I cant say no as its awful being invited then not being invited and also he's our friend too (albiet not as good friend) Plus he has no job currently and hasnt for the last year and half so almost definately couldnt afford to come?

     

    or do I take the easy option and just ignore the text ??

     

     

     

    Please help what would you reply/do?

     

    Thanks xx



    #2 JanineA

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      Posted 03 October 2010 - 07:18 PM

      This is a bit tricky. I think since you already invited him, don't un-invite him. Let him know he is still invited but that you would hope that though they are broken up they can still be civil and both still attend and enjoy your day after all the day should be about the two of you (you and FI). 

      As you said he has no job and probably won't be able to attend but I do agree with you FI it would be bad to invite and then un-invite and who knows if they get back together. This is definitely a tricky one. I wish you luck but do let us know how it turns out. 



      #3 Teira1031

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        Posted 03 October 2010 - 07:48 PM

        I agree with Janine! And since we most likely wont be able to afford to go anything then there is no reason to hurt his feelings by uninviting him. I hope it all turns out alright for everybody



        #4 clgriffi7

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          Posted 04 October 2010 - 03:56 AM

          I think Janine has it - let him know he is still invited, but the expectation is that they can be polite to each other and celebrate your day.  Since your wedding date isn't too far off, I think you are pretty safe that he won't be able to come.  If I hadn't had a job for a while and then found one, I probably wouldn't run out and spend money on an expensive trip (especially if I were concerned that I wasn't really wanted - which he is obviously thinking that way since he sent you the text).  Hopefully your friend G will understand.



          #5 Cindy*

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            Posted 04 October 2010 - 04:17 AM

            I agree with the other girls.  Good luck.



            #6 BachataBride

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              Posted 04 October 2010 - 04:26 AM

              What is your friend G saying about it?  Does she completely hate him? Do they think they could be civil with each other? Like this girls said, this is definitely a tricky situation...but if you think they could co-exist & not ruin your wedding (or make you feel uncomfortable) then I don't see the harm in still inviting him. Unless he's going to be a dick & bring a new gf...or something like that. Good luck hun...I'm sure it will all work out & I'll cross my fingers that he won't even go & it will be a non-issue!



              #7 roxmysockz

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                Posted 04 October 2010 - 07:48 AM

                Thanks for your replies girls ! I dont know if i've left it too long without a reply to him now

                What is your friend G saying about it?  Does she completely hate him? Do they think they could be civil with each other? Like this girls said, this is definitely a tricky situation...but if you think they could co-exist & not ruin your wedding (or make you feel uncomfortable) then I don't see the harm in still inviting him. Unless he's going to be a dick & bring a new gf...or something like that. Good luck hun...I'm sure it will all work out & I'll cross my fingers that he won't even go & it will be a non-issue!


                She just said sorry for him getting me involved in their mess. She just said to ask him how he thinks hes gonna pay for it (she was going to pay for him & had already paid the deposit) I really think its way to early for him to be asking that kind of thing since they only just split and I cant help but wonder if hes trying to make some kind of point/see where he stands?

                 

                They havent been civil recently but im sure their adult enough to be eventually, its just its a very small wedding party (18 inc us) and as we're from the UK it'll be a week long trip!

                 

                I think you are all right though, I need to say he is still invited but make sure he knows that him and G need to be civil and I dont want any problems! I know she wont do anything but him im not sure!

                 

                Thanks again xx



                #8 msjesslee

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                  Posted 10 October 2010 - 10:54 AM

                  I have a similar situation. I told them to figure it out and don't let them out you in the middle of it. You love both of them and they need to work it out for you!

                  #9 6ftht

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                    Posted 26 October 2010 - 04:56 PM

                    Arrrrr I hate these type of situations!!!!!!!! 



                    #10 SusanJeff2008

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                      Posted 30 November 2010 - 01:57 PM

                      I agree, i would let him know that he is still invited and hopefully they will will be civil. I hope everything worked out!






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