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AHR/ Shower- Titled "Couples Cocktail Shower"- Is this appropriate?

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#1 dpitre

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  • 23 posts

    Posted 23 September 2010 - 08:29 AM

    I apologize if there is already a thread on this.  I found some similiar threads, but none addressing this exact issue.


    Most of family is not coming to our DW and therefore, they keep asking my mom about a shower.  I am not doing a shower before the wedding, so we have decided to do an at home shower/reception (co-ed).  Friends and family are preparing food, etc, but we are the ones sending the invitations indicating "hosted by friends and family".


    1. Is it appropriate to have a combined co-ed shower/reception?  (We really can't afford to have them separate and I live very far from most of my family.)

    2. I'm stressing about sending the invitations myself, but I don't want to ask my relatives that are preparing the meals.  I know the etiquette is far from their minds, but I'm still concerned.

    3. We've listed at the very bottom of the invites "Registration info can be found at *weddding website address*"  Again my FI and I keep debating about this, but since the event is titled as a Couples Shower I feel that we need to list some kind of registration info.  Again, my family keeps asking where we are registered, so my mom thinks it perfectly fine.


    There will be approximately 60 plus invitations to this event- all family and friends of the family.  Most of our friends are coming to the DW and therefore, we're not inviting them.  (And these friends all live close to us and not in the state of my family.)


    Please help- I don't want to offend anyone, which I don't think any of this will but just wanted some extra thoughts.

    #2 magirl

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    • 198 posts

      Posted 23 September 2010 - 10:40 AM

      I think it's fine. Your family and friends will understand budget issues. and they really jsut want to help you celebrate!

      Since it is also serving as your reception, it think it's fine that you are sending the invites.

      #3 skp1

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      • 405 posts

        Posted 25 September 2010 - 06:01 AM

        These day anything goes.  As long as you aren't doing a regular shower there is no reason you can't do a couples one and send the invites yourself.  We are doing a pre-wedding party instead of an AHR after wards and based on a suggestion on BDW we are calling it an "Almost Married Party."  I feel funny doing a shower since both of us already have established homes. Everyone will say listing registry info on an invite is not proper and people will ask if they want to know.  I tend to agree.

        Steph & John........Atlantis.......June 18, 2011......happily married

        #4 mochamakes3

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        • 1,917 posts

          Posted 25 September 2010 - 06:45 AM

          I think couples showers are getting more popular. So it sounds like a great idea. As for the registry, why not just say additional info can be found on your website. That way, you won't feel as if you're specifically drawing attention to the registry.


          Also, if you're worried about sending your own invitations, why not ask the bridal party to participate. Or prepare them and give them to your mom to send out?


          I think I'll be having two showers. One with friends at my home and another with relatives and family friends at my mom's (she lives 5 hours away).

          #5 dpitre

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            Posted 27 September 2010 - 02:36 PM

            Thanks for the feedback ladies.  I just changed the title to Cocktail Shower and Reception and kept the hosted by friends and family.  Oh and changed the very bottom to read "more info at our website" so if they want to know wedding info.  I think you just start to stress out about the little things that just are not that important especially since everyone just wants to come and have a good time!


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