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Future MIL Issues! Bridal Showers...


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#11 Chiquita

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    Posted 16 August 2007 - 01:59 PM

    I agree completely with RaydensMama! Hopefully you don't have many more problems with her

    #12 Nrvsbride

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      Posted 16 August 2007 - 02:19 PM

      I am so sorry you are going through this. I think she is going through a lot of stuff right now and it must be emotionally draining on her. While I don't think an illness gives people the right to act rudely I do think you should exercise compassion (which clearly you have already) in this case. She might feel overwhelmed b/c of her illness and then she took it personal that you didn't invite her to a shower and then when she saw her name wasn't on the invite it probably just added to the stress.

      Are your invites complete already? If they are not could you add FMIL and FFIL's names? I know they are not paying for the wedding but it may be nice to add their names just so they feel included. Don't worry I'm sure everything will work out okay. And the fact that she told your FI that she felt bad shows that she's not a horrible person. I really do believe that she is just stressed right now.

      #13 LCBride2007

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        Posted 16 August 2007 - 02:23 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Nrvsbride
        Are your invites complete already? If they are not could you add FMIL and FFIL's names? I know they are not paying for the wedding but it may be nice to add their names just so they feel included. Don't worry I'm sure everything will work out okay. And the fact that she told your FI that she felt bad shows that she's not a horrible person. I really do believe that she is just stressed right now.

        sorry, Glenda, but I have to disagree! adding their names will only validate this kind of behavior. FMIL in no way should get any say in what you put on your invites, IMHO. if she's hosting a welcome/rehearsal dinner or something, then they can be listed on the invite for that or something - but either way, i still don't think she had any right to even bring that up to you. hopefully she apologizes to you for how she treated you.

        #14 PaulaV

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          Posted 16 August 2007 - 02:36 PM

          Sounded like she spoke (loudly) without thinking first, but then along with the invite issue, sounds like something is up with her.

          I am sorry to hear you are having these issues, but hopefully it will pass.
          Your wedding is coming up so soon!

          #15 michelle08

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            Posted 16 August 2007 - 02:51 PM

            I agree with everyone else....sorry that you had to deal with that...but no, she shouldn't be invited to the shower. I honestly don't know why she would want to be. I wonder if it's just stress from her situation.

            It seems that she wants to be in the spotlight a little with wanting to be involved in everything and have her name on everything. I wonder if she is always like this or just since her illness? It seems like she just doesn't want to miss out on anything and wants to be recognized or remembered?? I kinda understand that she has alot of weird emotions right now...but still, she should try and not take them out on other people!

            She needs to know that Brides have alot of weird emotions too!

            #16 CancunBride07

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              Posted 17 August 2007 - 02:07 AM

              Thanks for letting me vent!!

              To answer the behavior question, she did act like this before she was ill (controlling) She is a very nice woman, but does like to speak her opinion, loudly!! LOL.

              I was trying very hard to be compassionate because I know going through cancer, along with a wedding is emotional.

              My Uncle whom is also my Godfather had Lymphoma at the age of thirty three (ten years ago) and then my Grandmother and her sister both had stage three breast cancer just a year and half ago. So my whole family is trying to be there for them. Seth and I just want her to be able to relax and not stress over the small things. So I will need a lot of patience over the next 2 months!!

              The rehearsal dinner/party they were going to host has to be canceled. The Doctor said it would be too much stress. So she is also upset about having to postpone it. It was a large party, so it's a shame. That means she is losing planning something of her own that was very important to her, and the family.

              So just a lot going on, and boy am I feeling it!

              #17 CancunBride07

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                Posted 17 August 2007 - 02:10 AM

                Thank You Heidi for the magicwand!!!!

                #18 Nrvsbride

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                  Posted 17 August 2007 - 04:06 PM

                  Katherine I'm sorry that your party was cancelled. I'm sure everything will work out one way or another. I think she is lucky that she is getting you as a daughter-in-law b/c you are very patient and compassionate. I'm sure there will be bumps along the road, but in the end I have no doubt you will have an amazing wedding.

                  ~Ann how dare you disagree with me? Where do you get off thinking for yourself and formulating your own opinion? To go against the word of the all powerful Glenda? I am appalled. Everyone knows what I say is right. I am the good witch after all. LOL.




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