Arranging for some sort of a babysitting option could help. If you can make the childcare option something fun and exciting it wouldn't seem like as big of an issue. Find someone really creative to do the babysitting. Have them come up with a theme and arrange games, activities, etc.. around that.
Posted 02 September 2010 - 08:52 PM
1...dont' be surprised if people give you hard time, try to make you feel guilty, or flat out bitch about how "selfish" you're being for not inviting their kids. like the ladies have said, it's YOUR wedding and you don't have to have ANYONE there that you don't want to invite. just make sure that you are firm in your decision and dont back down!! trust me, i've had "friends" stop talking to me b/c I wont let them bring their "plus-one, met you yesterday, f*ck buddies"!! so you can just imagine how some people can be about their kids!!
2....you are not expected to pay for ANYTHING except food and drinks at the reception; whether you decide to offer a 6 course meal or just apps and cocktails is entirely up to you!!
good luck with the planning
Posted 03 September 2010 - 10:05 AM
Man, thank you guys so much....I thought I'd get a lot of "you can't stop them from bringing kids!"
I think I will address the invites "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," for example, or "Ms. Smith and adult-guest." I don't care that it says "adult guest." It's better than "Ms. Smith and under-no-circumstances-a-snotty-attention-stealing-kid!" Any better ideas, though??
I will just tell his family that it is an adult only ceremony and reception. None of my FI or my friends have kids, and I'm only inviting one friend.
The other fun issue now being that his sister has borderline personality disorder, and has tried several times to break us up....just not inviting her, plain and simple!! And if she shows up, we won't let her in.
Posted 03 September 2010 - 10:07 AM
Originally Posted by carolina24
b/c I wont let them bring their "plus-one, met you yesterday, f*ck buddies"!!
LOL!! That's so pathetic they stopped talking to you because of that!! How were they going to introduce them at the wedding?! "This is John, my one night stand!" "I don't know who this is, I just woke up next to him."
Good for you!! Shows you what real friends are when they make YOUR day about them, and not you.
Posted 03 September 2010 - 10:43 AM
Well I don't know when weddings turned into family parties. Since I was little my mom would go to weddings and always told us it is for adults and when you are an adult you can go to the weddings. So I have always thought weddings were an adult affair unless the kids are the bride and grooms immediate family such as their children or sibling. I have worked hundreds of weddings when kids are there and I am always like why bring them they run around and think they are at chucky cheese. Don't feel bad at all for telling your guests no kids if that is what YOU want. Just address the invites as Mr & Mrs. Smith and somewhere in there were it says attire just throw in Adult only
You do NOT have to pay for any of your guests rooms especially if it is not in your budget. We are paying for a couple of our guests only because it is within our budget. As long as you provide your guests with some food and alcohol that is all that is needed.
As for the Sister in Law don't invite her. You want a small intimate wedding so that means(at least to me) inviting people you actually like and want to be their to share your day and no one else. Who cares of other people feel hurt it is your wedding so unless they are paying for it or contributing something than they should just keep their mouth shut.
Posted 06 September 2010 - 07:59 AM
I feel exactly the same way as LMango. If we'd been getting married in our home town, there is no way we would have invited children to our wedding. Not only do I not want to pay for children to eat a meal that they probably won't enjoy, I do not want them running around making a noise during the ceremony and speeches.
However, as we are getting married in Australia, many of our guests are using our wedding as an opportunity to take a holiday of a lifetime with their kids. As the flight is 24 hours or more, people will be going for no less than 2 weeks, some for longer and we couldn't expect people to leave their kids at home for all that time.
For that reason, we decided to wait and see how many guests would attend who had kids and we would then arrange age appropriate entertainment/childcare for the kids. Some of our guests have teenagers who we are not planning on catering for.
When we sent out STDs, to save money, we addressed many of them to "the Smith Family", but for those families who had children, we made sure to address the STD to "John and Jane Smith". We were so shocked to then have an RSVP from "John, Jane and Jimmy Smith". Honestly, are people that stupid?!
Posted 09 September 2010 - 07:48 AM
Man, isn't it incredible how much our weddings seem to cater to others....even when I outright decide, no, it is MY wedding, and I won't invite people I don't want there.
So we decided to go with the resort . We are addressing the invites "Mr. and Ms. Smith," and the only kid going is 13, and is my FI's younger brother. I can't not invite that kid. We will be calling my FI's parents before hand, the only people with kids really, and flat out telling them the invites are specific to include no kids, and that the SIL is not to know when/where/etc. the wedding is.
I feel relief!! If they don't want to come or hire a sitter for their kids, screw 'em!!
Posted 09 September 2010 - 10:21 AM
If paying for kids' meals is the only issue - that should be pretty easy to resolve with the resorts. We had 4 of our nieces and nephews at our ceremony (ages 1.5-9) and our friends brought their 3 kids (6 mo-4 years). Our resort charged 1/2 price for kids 4+ yo and nothing for kids under 4, obviously none of them would eat a whole 4-course meal. So we didn't end up paying much at all for the kids. But we wanted the kids there since they are our nieces and nephews and the kids had a blast being in our wedding party and at the reception. They didn't interrupt anything but provided lots of cuteness on the dance floor. But WE WANTED them there!
Posted 09 September 2010 - 12:56 PM
I was umming and arring as to whether we should allow kids at our reception back in the uk after the wedding. My FI said that kids are what wedding receptions are all about, them running about like mad loonies playing together! I asked afew people what they thought and they said they would understand if i said no kids. However i decided to let people choose for themselves, kids are invited but if they want to get a babysitter and let their hair down for the night im happy with that.
Basically its your wedding, so you should be able to decide who you want there. You just need to be prepared for some people to get offended.
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